Real Housewives of The OC- crazy ladies

Let's just break it down shall we?
Vicky is so insecure she has to bring Jeanna home to see her "real" friends to try to get Jeanna to like her more. Can you say Pathetic? Jeanna was so jealous of her friends and their relationship though!

I think the real problem with Jeanna and Vicky is other than being working women they have nothing in common and their belief systems are opposite. Vicky is a boot strapper who does not like men she can't control or kids she can't boss around. She as old fashioned values but likes to defy them within a limit. Jeanna is someone who let's life happen to her and only reacts at the last second. She has lost control of most aspects of her life and is depressed and angry. She wants her kids and hubby to be her friend so she let's them treat her like crap. She loves men and gets her self worth from them.

On Vicky's marriage? Obviously Vicky has no respect for her husband, she treats him like crap, but kissing men and saying you're boobs want to come out and play? Klassy with a K. Kissing your friends husband all the time? Again Klassy.

Tamra gets her mom a face lift and cannot cry because her face is too botoxed. Nice. Tamra's feeling that when something good happens she feels like it will be taken away made me understand why she's such a meanie. No excuse though. Buck up.

Jeanna went to her sons baseball game and he told her not to come, cursed at her, told her he should have thrown a bat at her, and kept being a spoiled little dick alllll through dinner. Apple? Tree? Meet your father the dick who is mean to your mother. You've become him. I cannot believe that Shane said if Jeanna wasn't around he'd have more money. I hate that kid. His girlfriend should run for the hills!


Lynne's daughters are disgusting. When she says Raquel is in need for some discipline? Number one you're too late, try starting at 2 years old, and number 2 you're the one who has to do it dumbass! I love that Raquel has to leave her spa treatment early to be with her boyfriend. Such a spoiled brat it's insane. Why do they need massages? God only knows. Lynne is the biggest dummy ever and only cares about looking young. She is young. She looks and acts like an immature teenager.
One thing I do love about Lynne is she has a permanently pregnant stomach like mine! See? No matter how thin you are you can have one!

Gretchen's looking for investments while her fiance is dying in the hospital? Bizarre. Why does she have to flirt with EVERY GUY SHE MEETS?

I know you're watching! What did you think?

The Mrs. Neeeeeeds.....Fun!

Mommy Learns to blog did this and it just cracked me up!!! I had to play along.

Here's how it works. Type in your name and the word "needs". See what you get!?

I did my real name but I am printing the Mrs. since I won't reveal my name!

1) The Mrs. needs to get that one frame from out of her old animated gif avatar.

Huh?

2) The Mrs. needs real love.

You got that right!!!

3) The Mrs. needs to devise a budget and stick to it.

Mom, stop reading my blog.

4) The Mrs. needs to increase her food intake to 2000 calories a day.

Too late! That's already happened! LOL!

5) The Mrs. needs more coffee.

No thank you. I'll take an iced tea though.

6) The Mrs. needs one more taste of her oozing pastry.

Hmmm...I like pastry but oozing?

7) The Mrs. needs some Anthropology style apartment therapy!

I do love Anthropology...

8) The Mrs. needs prayers.

Always. For healthy baby and mommy!

9) The Mrs. needs money.

Oh yeah I do!

10) The Mrs. needs Christmas blocks.

Do I? What are they? Maybe I do need them!!!

I am tagging everyone to do this! It's too funny!

Tune in for my series next week: "Who Do YOU Want To Be?"

The Mrs. Does Baby Announcements!

I keep forgetting to tell you all that my company, SO LUXE, does baby announcements! I would love to help any of you guys with yours!!

Here's some I am thinking are adorable! Maybe one for baby girl? Which one do you like?








Just contact me at onefabulousmom@gmail.com and you can order from the website or from me directly!

What!!!!!??

Conde Nast announced today that it is ceasing publication of style magazine, Domino, and the mag's website as well.

All My Single Ladies! Project A

Anyone who knows me knows I looooove a project! Even at 7 months I need a little something to be excited about. I decided to take on my friend "A". She is hot, she is cute, she is successful and funny! How in the world is she not married?

"A" was feeling a little down on the man situation last year. She had dated, and had a serious relationship almost go the distance. Then she was back out there. I told her I wanted to take her on as my project for 2009. Ring on the finger by New Years! I am not messing around!

So far we (me acting as her agent)`have joined E Harmony and connected with some pretty cute guys! The most promising lead however has come from someone else setting her up. Hey, I'm okay with that! I'm still taking full credit!

Dating is so much harder these days. People are so busy, working a ton, and they have little time to do much else. Plus where do you meet the good ones? At a bar? (A girlfriend I know did!), grocery store?, dog park? I met my hubby at a two year olds bday party! It was a very Hollywood and more adult party but still! You never know!

I think the most important thing is I am here for "A". I am her wingwoman, her agent, someone who takes the pressure off and keeps her going. This dating thing should be fun right?!

I was one of the last people in my group to get married and I was daunted. I felt like it would never happen. Finally I let it go. I literally said to my friends on the way to the two year olds bday party that I may never marry and that's okay. I meant it. I was at peace with having men in my life but maybe not permanently. Then boom! I wasn't bitter about being alone. I felt good!

I would have LOVED to have had someone to take me on as their project and have me in mind. I remember always asking people to set me up and people were too busy with their own lives! Too busy already married or having kids that I wanted so badly!

Married ladies, take on a single friend as a project and help her out! Be a matchmaker! You never know! I will keep you updated on my project so you know how it's going. And if anyone knows of a cute guy for "A" here in LA you let her agent the Mrs. know!!

Traveling with a Toddler Part Deux- Questions answered

I was asked by the lovely Pink Flamingo to help her navigate the stress of toddler travel. I have written about this before, but let me boil it down for everyone.



1) Never underestimate the power of snacks- grapes, cookies, goldfish and raisins can be doled out just as your little one is about to explode.

2) Dollar Tree- This idea was shared by Memoirs of the shoe obsessed. Go to the dollar store, get a bunch of throw away yet entertaining toys to give out through the flight. Bonus, wrap each one so they can reveal their prize!

3) Either sit and stroll or belt it in! If you can rent a car with a car seat on the other end of your trip then fly with the Cares restraint system pictured above. I got it on Amazon. It is the greatest thing ever made, weighs nothing and is easy to use. FAA approved! Otherwise get one of these deals.



A combo stroller and car seat!

4) Movie time! Bring a million dvd's and your computer or DVD player. Now's not the time to be anti TV when your child is having an on board melt down.

5) New books- make sure you have a few new books to blow baby's mind. A new Elmo book helps me out sooo much.

6) Isn't everything a toy? Air sick bag, plane diagram, all are fair game. Let them play!

7) Keep em strapped in as long as possible. Once they're out of the seat...they're OUT! That means you up and down the aisle for hours.

8) Stewardesses are not nannies but they're close. Don't be afraid to ask for help, more milk, a blanket, help with a seat belt...I make friends right away!

9) Dress them up! You had better dress you kids as cute as you can. That way they will be cute screamers not ratty looking ones. It really helps boost plane morale!

and finally....

10) Crying game. Sometimes it just all goes to hell. Just remember we've all been there!!!!

Bachelor Recap!

If there was any doubt about who the true freaks are on the show, tonight you saw it all during the singing contest. From Nikki who was in tears. TEARS! Because she didn't want to sing, to Stephanie who sang like an opera singer from a horror show, to Lauren who thinks she's a professional singer. Hello? Freaks? Shannon still is weirding me out with her lack of upper lip and obsession with him, "I've watched all the bachelor episodes", as if Jason is a celebrity? How about how she wanted to "wait up" for Molly on her camp out date? She is a STALKER! Remember this is the girl who puked during the rose ceremony last week. GROSSSSSSS!

Plus, Shannon is such a freak, begging to stay and blowing her nose. She is disgusting!

Molly and Melissa ("Mel" as he calls her!!!) seem like the real deal and look like their here for the long haul. Molly is very Reesish in looks which of course I adore. She says all the right things, and she's cute. He's digging her for sure!

The General Hospital date was Queer, mostly because of Shannon. Everything else was goofy and dumb. I think Megans kiss with Jason was aggressive and insane. What is up with that chick? He doesn't like her I can tell. The cryfest afterwards was ridiculous. The Lauren being all bossy and manipulative made me puke!

How did Jason pay back the freaks? Sent them all home!!! Nikki, Shannon, Megan and Lauren BUH-BYE!

I think Shannons parting comment says it all....she's going to use her electric toothbrush and French kiss her puppy. I can't imagine why he sent her home!!!!??


I am soooo looking forward to next week! Down to five baby!

Celebrity Safari

Having a good week already!
Reese
Jake
Gabrielle Carteris and Lela Rochon!
I feel like I'm on a celebrity safari!

Preganncy then...an NOW

I went for a 3D ultrasound last Friday with the hubby, couldn't really see too much. She had her hands up by her face so we'll have to try again! Every ultrasound I do with my regular OB she puts her face right to the camera!!! DIVA! But this time she sensed the need to avoid the paparazzi like any celeb living in LA.

I have been TIRED and have slowed down a lot. I feel HUGE but the baby is right on track and doing very well.

Before, when I was pregnant with Landon here was my typical day:


wake up at 7am
breakfast
watch TV
shower
dress
relax
Meet a fellow preggy girlfriend for Lunch (right Natalia?)
shop
Go home and nap
Watch Oprah
Eat a big dinner
Watch a movie
Go to bed early

Ahhhh...just seeing that makes me feel rested...but now? Now with a two year old and pregnant this time around, things are different. Just a little.

5:45 am Landon screams for Daddy or Mama
5:55 am Daddy tries to convince him it's still sleepy time
6:15 am He's up and asking for Bob the Builder cartoons "More Bob?", Or Sesame Street?
I give him milk and a banana to snack on.
Unload dishwasher
Check email
Check on bloggers for two seconds
6:30 am Daddy leaves for work
7:00 am Make breakfast for Landon and I
More Bob the builder while I clean up and shower(where he comes in a hundred times and says Mom! He is cute though.)
Get dressed and ready, get Landon dressed and ready
9:00 am Landon has either mommy and me preschool, gymnastics, physical therapy or speech therapy
12:00 Lunch
12:30pm Landon naps and I try to nap too
2:30pm Landon is up and has snack
Then phys therapy, playground or the like
4:30 pm Back at home
5pm I fix dinner, or try to because I am TIRED!
5:30pm Daddy's home
6pm Feed Landon
6:30pm Bath time with Daddy
Mommy finishes cooking dinner
7pm Landon more sesame street
Brush teeth
Books
In bed by 7:30
Hubby and I eat and watch trashy TV
In bed by 9/9:30pm
Whew!!!

I hope I haven't discouraged anyone from having a second baby!

Tropic Thunder- A mom's review!

I had to find out what all the golden globe and academy award hoopla was about! Hubby and I watched this and laughed our heads off. Yes it's nonsense, yes it's stupid, yes...it's funny!

It has a ton of cursing, and a ton of violence (most of which looks fake, which is the point). It is a spoof on war movies like Platoon and how Hollywood actors are. Since I am in that world I thought it was hysterical. I think you will too!

Since I will me Mrs. Netflix over the next weeks (saving money and too tired to go out!), here's my rating system:

I give this movie 4 out of 5 Cosmopolitans!

Monogram Chick Giveaway!!

Look at what the Monogram Chick is giving away! Go enter the give away and tell her One fab mom sentcha!

Real Housewives of The OC- you're daily trash

Gretchen did not hook up with Tamra's son "Nugget" as hubby and I call him. That kid is not only unattractive, he is so slimy. He basically stalked her like she was a sad, and injured impala and he was a lion. GROSS.

The next morning Gretchen and her dogs put on a good show at the kid pool party. Although just because all these ladies have fake boobs she has to be sucked in? Come on! Be yourself!

By the way could Tamras boobs be bigger? They look so fake and disgusting. Her in the bathing suit had me choking and gagging.


Jeanna freaks me out the way she keeps her ex around. He's such a rude dick, I could care less if he "needs" her. Kick his ass out! I'm glad he's gone but I feel like he'll be back! Poor thing is an emotional eater (hello, I get it!), and needs to get her life going! She also always defends people who make insanely bad choices ie: Gretchen's hubby's ex wife and Vicki's ex. Her way of thinking is bizarre! She defends the indefensible!

I'm starting to think Vicki is the craziest one out of all of them. The wipe out at the "networking" party and no one even jumped to help her! Lay off the drinks Vicki!

The real question remains when are they going to tell us Gretchens fiance has died? I thought it was sad when Vicki was instructing her on what to do, she seems so unprepared, and in no mans land. Lynne is a giant idiot though, such a child and those cuff bracelets are UGLY!!!

Will Gretchen leave the show? I guess they kept Jo around even though Slade and her broke up...anything goes I guess!

Earthquake!

3.1!

Felt that one!

Fabulous Find- Fisher Price Learn About Town

When you find a toy that occupies your child for more than five seconds you want to shout it from the rooftops!

This Fisher Price Little People Learn About Town
is brilliant. It's set up as store fronts with multiple activities to do on each section. Best of all it folds up! Landon loves to put the apples in the tree and count along with how many go in, or put the pizzas in the pizzeria oven.

He plays with it for 20 and 30 minute intervals. Heaven! If there's a toy that is working for you SHARE!

What did you think of the dress? I liked it. Young and fun and sexy!

Obama Women Rocked It!

Sasha and Malia in their J crew coats at the inauguration! Good girls!!!


They looked fabulous and so did their mama!

Wow.

Inauguration Day and one amazing speech. We begin again. Oh happy day!

Bachelor Recap!

Ahh Jason. Keep taking your shirt off. I digress...Let the recap begin....

Again these girls are making fools out of themselves. No big surprise. Group date was them making busts. Kinda weird because he could really see all the girls boobs! Nikki, the amazon girl, is boring as hell. Telling a guy you're a control freak? No good.

Stephanie getting to reunite with her cute daughter was a tear jerker, but there is still something weird about that girl!!! Alien head? Facelift? Weird pencil brows? I don't know. Did like her more this time though.

What is with the lacrosse coach Megan? All she talks about is how much of a role model she is and she is the worst person on earth. Mean, nasty and conniving.

Hot dog girl Jillian talks to fast, but she's cute. She got the rose on the group date and boy were the others pisssssssed!

Shannon the dental hygienist is just plain ugly. Yucky. Stop crying and breaking down and throwing up! Get over it!

Natalie got a one on one date, she's the only blonde, they are jealous! Diamonds? Private jet to Vegas? I smell a set up. We know Jason is no millionaire...is he trying to see if she's materialistic? So tell me about you Natalie? I love bears! Wait, she looooves bears? Hello? Could she be stupider? No rose for you! Way to curse like a sailor when he gave you the boot! TRASHY!

At the rose ceremony party, Naomi told Jason that she has a practically brand new Vajajay. Cute isn't she?


He kissed everyone at the Rose party, seriously what is up with that? Is he running a kissing booth?

Erica is a man in a dress. Seriously. And she asks if he looked at her boobs? Has the world gone insane?

He got rid of Kari (cuuute!) and Erica (man in dress). Cannot believe he is keeping MEGAN. She is from hell!!!

So now it's down to eight. I like Molly and Melissa. Who do you like? What did you think?

What Not To Say to a Pregnant Woman Part Deux

I am not one of those ladies who barely looks pregnant, gains only 10 pounds and bounces back three seconds after the baby is born. That's not my style, as we say. Instead I get HUGE. I mean big. I gain about 40 pounds and lose it all except for 10 pounds or so until I stop breast feeding.

Then, I have the permanently pregnant stomach (I have lamented about this before here), and I get the fun of everyone asking "me if I am pregnant when I have a newborn. Ah, the joys of being a woman.

So it is with this pregnancy, being 7 months now, (okay it happened at three months), that I am big. My stomach is huge and it brings out the best in people. (Hello sarcasm? It's me The Mrs.)

Things people have said:

You're Huge!
Look how big you are?
Are you gonna make it to the end?
When are you due? (read: holy moly you are big)
How much longer? (Cause you are about to pop now)
Are you sure you're not having twins?
You're all belly!! (right, not when you are making up for the above comments)
and just general laughter at the sight of me...

This happened last time. I should expect it. I had a guy yell out the window to me last time and ask:"you havin' triplets?"

My friend called the other day and tell me that a friend of hers, upon seeing her in heels and after having a baby two months ago, said "you're Giant! Hello Giant!" She burst into tears naturally...

So take my advice and leave us pregnant girls and new mothers alone.

Here is my sanctioned list of what you can say to us:

1) You look amazing!
2) You're all tummy! (and mean it!)
3) You're so tall! (there you go, instead of giant!)
4) You look beautiful.
5) pregnancy agrees with you! What a glow!
and my personal favorite:
6) I'd love to take you out to lunch!

There you have it. Stick to the list. Trust me.

Ps I think I am rockin' some Drew Barrymore Golden Globe hair!

Big Love On Tonight!!!!

Cannot wait! Even saw Mary Kay Place today...a good omen right!!??

The Real OC Housewives among other trashy TV!

Are you watching the OC Housewives?

Is it just me or is Tamra a mean as hell girl? She set Gretchen up and then let her wretched son drool all over her! Why is she so evil? She tears up in her toast saying these women are like family (hello she just met Lynne), and then stabs them in the back! Awful.

We got some insight into Tamras marriage this episode though didn't we?
1) Simon is British? HUH?
2) he thinks she has no class or manners. Nice.
3) He wears the pants and makes all the decisions
4) She is a little sex toy for him.


I'm dying to know if Gretchen and Tamra's son hooked up. I HOPE NOT!

On American Idol, they are deep into auditions. I loooved the mom who was a combo of Fantasia and Mary J Blige. So far I like her best. I actually really only like the show once they go to Hollywood.

On TOP CHEF, Ariane got kicked off and that was ridiculous. They made dinner with fresh ingredients on the farm and I think Hosea or his little girlfriend should have gotten the boot. They are too distracted by having a crush on each other. Did you See the preview? They hook up! Hello, you are given the chance of a lifetime! Can you hook up when the shows over? So stupid. I like the new judge, his analogies are hysterical.

Bachelor recaps will now be a weekly occurrence! I am way too into this show and I swear I still hope he will get married and live happily ever after! Clearly they have the how on the air for dummies like me!!!!

Friday Five! Think Pink! My top five Pink things!

When I am in my meanest pregnant mood, I rely on the little things to get me through the day.

Pink things are at the top of my happy list!!!



1) My Beverly Hills hotel pink bathrobe!















2) My favorite pink slippers: Monnetonkas now on sale at DSW warehouse for $16!!!














3) My pink monogrammed towels












4) My pink mohair shoes Godmother gave me..













5) My new pink heels from Talbots that hubby got me!








I am tagging

Preppy Sue

Tickled Pink and Green

Sippycups are for Chardonnay

Preppy Pink Crocodile

and

Nautical By Nature!

Show me your five favorite pink things!

RIP- Ricardo Montalban

I am just sad to say that Ricardo is gone. I loooooved Fantasy Island as a child. Wasn't it the best? It was simultaneously scary and fun all at once. Welcome to the Island! Tropical fabulousness? You never met your Father and you feel your life would have been so much better? Well, you're going to meet him! Only catch is he's a scary drunk who hates everyone. Enjoy!

Welcome! Here's a drink! How was the hydroplane? You're a teacher but always wanted to be a rockette? Well now's your chance! Only now you sprain your ankle and the girls all hate you because you're too pretty. Enjoy!

That was the thing about Fantasy Island. The grass was not greener on the other side. Good lesson for all of us! I'll miss you Ricardo!


xo
The Mrs.

Bachelor Recap! As requested!

Well, the show did not disappoint! Still no sign of Deanna...I think in the preview when she says:" I made a mistake", she means the way she rushed into things too fast not in her choice of guy! You know how the show twists things!

Note to psycho girls on the bachelor, if he doesn't have a date with you 1) don't hide in the limo so you can "catch" him for a second, 2) don't complain about lack of dates or the way the show works (hello, you signed up for this!) and 3) Stop the cat fighting! (okay don't, it's fun)

I thought the Canadian hot dog girl did a great job on her date, enthusiastic, classy dress, dancing, and Robin Thicke performing for you at the Walt Disney Concert Hall!! How can you not fall in love with him!!!!!!!

Dallas Cowboy cheerleader got to ride in a blimp and was very cute. I think she's my favorite.

Once the rose came out at their "relaxed" pool party they all went insane! Calm down girls! he does have a nice bod though. I'll give him that!

He got rid of plain Jane, as I call her, and limo stalker (what a shocker!). They previewed a reuniting date with the widow and her daughter and I am sorry but she looks like an alien and freaks me out.

Looking forward to narrowing the field and getting this guy back to his kid!

Another award! I feel fabulous!

I was given this fabulous award by the fabulous blogger: Belle in Bloom

So many of you are fabulous!!! How in the world do I choose!!!??

Let's see my five fabulous blogger friends are:

1)Bloggedy Blog Blog- Saucy herself is a photographer and has such creative ideas!!! So fabulous!

2)I pick Pretty- She is pretty and she is witty and too fabulous!

3)Weasels Journey- She's a world traveler and fabulous mom!

4)Happy Homemaker- She's private and I am sad because she is sooo fabulous!

and....
5)Always Organizing- She is fabulously organized with some amazing ideas to keep you on track!!!

More Baby Must Haves!

I have long touted their virtue before, but let me just say I now can say even more about Wubba Nubs pacifiers.

Landon had the frog one. I say had because yesterday morning a we cut off the pacifier and let him keep the frog. Goodbye paci. Tougher on me I think! So far he's doing pretty well and still gets to snuggle with his frog! BRILLIANT!

I'm gonna get the pink pony one for baby girl.





I love my Stork Sak baby bag and will be pulling them out soon! (I have a chocolate one and a pink one!!!)



It has amazing compartments and extras like a changing pad and bottle cover already included.
















Sophie giraffe is the cutest and best teether I have found. Who doesn't want their newborn to have a French giraffe!? How fancy and fabulous!


Now for the most important topic! Sleep! I told you to get a good mattress... but you also need one of these sleep positioners. This os for vanity and sleeping sake. have you seen those kids with the helmets? Yes? That is from having head and neck issues. You can prevent this (Sometimes) by switching the position you put baby in at each nap and night.








>

There are a couple of styles, you just need adjustability and flexibility!

Poor Puppy Is Doing Much Better

Shelby is doing much better, going on walks and still on her pain killers and anti- biotics. She has her little Barbaro leg all taped up and gets a little check up tomorrow. Thank you for all your well wishes!!!

Baby Time! What you need on your registry!

Here's a picture of Landon, about a month old in the hospital. yes the love affair started then and it continues!!!!!

I am a second time mom but I know many of you are first timers and soon to be Mom's! There are endless things to get, but let me be your personal assistant and tell you what you really need! Let the Mrs. tell you from experience!

First of all the baby will be hanging out in your bedroom for the first four months. Take a deep breath. This means you have more time to decorate the nursery! Since baby will be in your room, you need a bassinet, or in my case a moses basket on my ottoman!

You'll need a crib and mobile for their room which you will be moving them into at about 3 or four months once they stop late night feedings.

You need a good mattress in your baby crib, anything to promote great sleep! I have an organic one, more pricey but Landon is an awesome sleeper!

Diapers, wipes, baby nail clipping set all needed. Wipes warmer? I say skip it. Otherwise they expect a warm wipe when your out and about and you won't have that! I like Dr. Browns bottles, you need a variety of sizes. Changing pad and covers for your dresser or changing table.




If you're breast feeding by God spend good money on a breast pump. No reason to torture yourself! I have the medela backpack one and it's great.



You also need a boppy to lean baby or you on!




You must have Lilly Padz as well, vs the cloth pads for leaky boobies. They are so much better!!!



Baby needs a bathtub for sure and if you don't have bathroom counter space do it on the kitchen counter like me! Remember babies like to be warm so keep a warm washcloth on the tummy or they'll scream! Speaking of, you need about 6 washcloths so you don't have to wash all the time, also steal as many cloth diapers from the hospital as you can, they make great burp cloths. Sure you'll have fancy ones for when you go out, but for at home these work great. I have about 20!

You also need about 10 bibs that are washable and go with cute little outfits.

I love all the Mustela bathing products and lotions. still use them on Landon beacause they smell amazing!



I have the diaper Dekor trash can but it smells all the time. I still have no clue how to solve the diaper trash problem. If you know tell me!

You need a bouncey chair,



a baby swing, an excersaucer





and a gymini Kick and play.






I have the Graco snug ride car seat and then the click and go stroller to match. You need to have somewhere to but this car seat cause it's heavy! I love that it just clicks in!



Plus I like to carry the world with me so this has space for that and purchases when you shop!


If you travel a lot or if you like to socialize at friends then you need a pack and play portable crib. Perfect for naps at friends houses!



Overwhelmed yet? Keeping up? Tomorrow I'll tell you the baby bag I love, my pacifier and great sleep secret, and one teether you must have!