Leaving Perfection Behind and Embracing Your Broken-ness

I used to covet perfection. The perfect outfit, party, relationship all the surface things. It wasn't that I didn't have depth, it was just that I liked things to be just...PERFECT.



As I got older I started realizing this was getting tougher and tougher to accomplish. After a perfect wedding to a perfect husband I went through some very imperfect infertility. It made me question everything in my life. I thought getting pregnant would be a snap. Not so much.

After in vitro and finally getting pregnant I got back to my usually perfect ways with the perfect baby shower. Little did I know what was around the corner. My perfectionism was about to get it's REAL rude awakening. I thought I had it all back together but....



Having Landon changed all of that. When you have a child who is born with an issue of any sort, especially an ongoing one, or one that is life changing, it takes the perfectionism you're suffering from and just throws it up against the wall and smashes it.

Even when Landon came home with a less than perfect right arm I still longed for perfection. I tried to get back on the perfection horse. It was no use.

Over the last few really tough years in finances, marriage, kids and life....I have come to appreciate: BROKEN-NESS.

In people, animals, things...all of it.

There was a Lilly Pulitzer store going out of business, the woman was so upset, beautiful store and she couldn't keep it going...she was selling EVERYTHING. She was humiliated but called me to come in and buy. I looked at a fog necklace and she said oh you don't want that, it only has one foot. It's broken.

Guess what:



I bought it.

Turns out the broken-ness is the good stuff.

Some of my best friends have been broken in many ways, and still are, and it's what makes me LOVE them, relate to them and able to have the best conversations. They don't wear their broken-ness like victims, they choose to share it when they feel it's important. Life is not our perfect Facebook posts, and instagram pictures. Life is really TOUGH. It breaks us. That broken-ness pulls us together and let's us connect. Don't hide that broken-ness. That is what makes you who you are.

Embracing my broken-ness is not easy. It's hard to admit when things are going BAD. GETTING WORSE and seem UNFIXABLE. But if that's where you are. That's where YOU ARE. It's not forever. It will change and evolve. 

Looking down at my frog necklace reminds me were all BROKEN in one way or another. Does this mean I'm going to stop monogramming things? Dressing up? Setting a pretty table? HELL NO. It means that when someone admits their BROKEN-NESS to me I will share my own. And when I feel broken and scared I will share this with my closest friends and get comfort.

WE ARE ALL BROKEN. Time to FACE it. ADMIT it and EMBRACE it.

Now THAT'S what makes a WARRIOR WOMAN!

Who's On Your Board? Why You Need A Personal Board Of Directors




Do you have a personal board of directors? If not YOU NEED ONE!

Whenever I am at a place of change, renewal or just STUCK IN A RUT, I consult my board. Yes I have my own personal board of directors in my life. I may not meet with them all at once, or take all of their advice, but they are guiding, encouraging and inspiring me. They might not even KNOW they're doing it!

I came up with this idea after sharing my ideas with the WRONG people. When you share your ideas and dreams with a NON BOARD MEMBER, you are left unsupported, discouraged and depressed. The negativity will KILL YOUR CREATIVITY and WRECK YOUR FUTURE. Sound dramatic? It is! THIS IS SERIOUS! THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!

This is why you need a Personal Board Of Directors.

Here's how it works:

You are going to select 10 people to be on your board. The people do not need to know each other, live near by, or talk to you every day. The key is to get 10 diverse people. 10 people who you admire, look up to, and feel understand you deeply. 10 diverse people from different walks of life. These people may not be your best friends. For example, one lady on my board is MY EYEBROW LADY. She is like a Dali Llama of perfect advice and encouragement. Think outside the box!

Get out a piece of paper and start creating your board list. Remember you don't have to TELL ANYONE who is on your board or if they're on your board. This is a list of people you can SHARE YOUR IDEAS with and get positive feedback. They can help you create and achieve a VISION FOR YOUR LIFE.

Usually family members are NOT board members but there are always exceptions to that rule. My sister in law is on my board and always helps me to see the future more clearly. She knows me and knows what would be good for me.

Once your have your list (you can even start with a board of 3 people until you find your full board), keep it in a special place to refer to. When you are having trouble in your life, or are wanting to make a big change or a wonderful opportunity comes your way you can ask a board members advice and weigh your choices. It's great knowing you are supported no matter what!

The board can change, and grow as you do. You can kick someone off the board if you need to! That's why it's best to NOT TELL THEM THEY'RE ON IT! 

Remember this:

AMAZING people—those worthy of being personal board members—tend to be unusually generous with their time. They give of themselves for the development of others. This level of generosity requires that you be highly selective about when to call on them. For daily or noncritical decisions,  do not contact your board members. Keep the list of your board members easily accessible (on the wall, in a wallet, in your nightstand) and make sure when you call on them you are ready to present something or get big advice. Otherwise you can hold imaginary board meetings, envisioning what each board member might say about a given situation.  


Who's worthy enough to be on your board?





DON'T SUCK IT UP- the passing of a Mom Blogger





When I learned of Leslies passing I was in SHOCK.

I have been reading her blog, A Blonde Ambition, on and off for a while. I knew she was having heart issues but, she DIED?

There is an instagram post from a week ago.

There are two young babies.



There is a husband.



AND SHE'S JUST GONE.

This is hitting me on so many levels.

First- I have developed heart issues. I am on heart meds and need to take better care of myself. BECAUSE I DON'T.

Second, Leslie was so grateful. In the hospital, away from her girls for weeks and months, and she was a grateful happy person. The kind of person who should be around a long time to be an example for others. She was even grateful for her health.

Leslie understood being someones cheerleader was really important:

"One of the things this little medical fiasco has also shown me is the importance of encouraging others who may be going through tough things. The emails, words of encouragement and prayer have been so appreciated, and it has been a great reminder that I need to do more of that for others. I'd love to be able to incorporate the blog into that somehow and I'm excited to explore that idea more. We could all use our own personal cheerleaders sometimes, don't you think?"

Leslie offers up a warning here in THIS POST. That if you are feeling TIRED. REALLY TIRED. And you don't really have a reason to be SO TIRED, it could be a heart problem. She was a new mom, exhausted like the rest of us. She knew she was REALLY TIRED and instead told herself to keep pushing. SUCK IT UP she told herself.

READ:

"If you are more tired than normal, if something just doesn't feel right, if you feel like you can't get enough sleep even though you technically are - SAY SOMETHING. DO SOMETHING. WAVE THE WHITE FLAG. I didn't. I just thought I was tired from chasing a toddler and caring for an 8-week-old. I thought I just needed to suck it up, drink some caffeine and stop complaining.
In reality, I was having major heart trouble."


She just had a baby months ago. They will never again get to have their Mother. This kills me. 



Donate to the girls college and wedding fund here: GO FUND ME

And read Leslies Blog and learn from her. Learn about her. Pass on what she's telling us.

And hug your babies. 

And be grateful.

And BE GOOD TO YOURSELF.  

Get your heart checked regularly. If you're TIRED and you know something is wrong...... DON'T SUCK IT UP.





Finding My Fabulous- It's The Little Quiet Things That Make You Happy

With my non fabulous self in tow, I headed to the beach. I needed a break.
I needed:



I started to feel BETTER. Still there was something NOT QUITE RIGHT. I know there's more digging to do. More excavating....

With all the bad stuff that seemed to eat me alive, I started noticing that it was the little things that were making me feel happy. Things like:

My old dog feeling like her old self playing frisbee....


The kids doing a puzzle quietly together.....






And a sunset.....



I'm slowly building on the little things, learning to de stress, and CALM DOWN. Deep breaths.....#SummerSlowDown2015 is my hashtag. See all my slow down moments on Instagram here ONE FABULOUS MOM.

Thanks for your encouragement. It helps when I know what worked for you!













Lost My Fabulous- Trying to get it back!

I Lost My Fabulous.

I don't know how it happened.

That's not true. I do. I guess I don't know the exact moment. Sometime, in the middle of working, tending to family, volunteering, socializing, dealing with friendship dynamics, family dynamics, dealing with minor crises, dealing with major crises, dealing with people with bad attitudes, hearing unkind words, financial issues and just bad juju.....

I lost my fabulous.

I didn't think I had really lost it all together. Even amidst emotionally devastating happenings I was able to still bounce back a little. Go out to dinner. Put on the Lilly Pulitzer....

But then my heart was broken. My dreams were dashed. Things got worse. And soon, looking around and then looking in the mirror. I realized: I lost my fabulous.

You may think this is funny coming from One Fabulous Mom. And truthfully I started this blog because I was feeling less than Fabulous and wanted to get it back.

But things have piled up too big to ignore. And my heart is broken. So friends, no more fabulous. And I have to face it. After all the definition of crisis is: a difficult or dangerous situation that needs serious attention. And so, this does.

I'm hoping I can get it back. Right now I have no clue how. But since I know some if you are in the same boat...I'll keep you posted. I'll take you on my journey. And if you have lost your fabulous you are not alone. And if you are getting it back I applaud you. And if you never lost it, trust me one day you will.

So let's do this together. Join me on my journey  Find My Fabulous. Stay tuned...



Where have I been? I joined the BAND! The Mrs Band #ImEnough Movement

I've been on such a whirl wind the last few months I finally just had to sit down and write this post! It all started with this:




Have you seen this #ImEnough video? It touched my heart! Don't we all feel that? Don't we all want to say: "I'M ENOUGH!" This video has been viewed more than 5 million times across the world! That's when I learned that The Mrs Band was more than a band. It was a movement! An all girl band, a band of WOMEN, who were still dreaming and inspiring. They bring the Magic Mirror across the country changing women's lives and their inner voices!

Low and behold The Mrs was releasing a NEW song for Mother's Day called "You Told Me". The lyrics say it all:


I love this song. It really speaks to the complicated relationship Mothers and Daughters have. The Mrs held an amazing song launch event in NYC and I was THERE! It was at the Top Of The Rock at Rockefeller Center with Jenny McCarthy as our host and benefiting Dress For Success!


Jenny couldn't have been more down to earth and SWEET! Just loved her. The Mrs treated us tired Moms to a fabulous night out with cocktails by Deep Eddy Vodka, decor by Red Velvet Events and earrings from Kendra Scott!





And they even brought their Magic Mirror!!!! Quite a magical experience!


The Mrs Band played their new song and everyone loved it! A huge success!


Aren't they gorgeous!!!???


Now I'm a devoted fan of The Mrs. Women who make music for people my age? THANK YOU!!!!! I'm on board! Watch their new video and download their new single!

What are you an EXPERT in? Channeling Lisa Nichols! SUPER SOUL SUNDAY

Lisa Nichols, if you have not heard her speak or read one of her books, is kind of a whirling dervish of realness and humor and love. She is just someone you could listen to forever and her story is COMPELLING.







She went from public assistance to MILLIONAIRE. I watched this video and I could NOT TURN IT OFF.

I had never heard of her but when I stumbled upon her I loved her. She is inspiring! Her site is HERE.http://www.motivatingthemasses.com/home/

One of the things she talked about that really struck me was when she asked:

What are you an EXPERT in? Everybody's an expert in something. Good or bad. She claimed that she was an expert in GETTING BACK UP. She had been knocked down so many times she could not count. She was not looking at that with negativity but instead saying she was an expert in PULLING HERSELF together and MOVING ON.

WOW.

I feel it. I feel like I'm an EXPERT IN GETTING BACK UP too. I don't want to be. I wish I wasn't sometimes. BUT I AM.

I got back up when my parents divorced
I got back up when I couldn't have a baby
I got back up when artificial insemination didn't work
I got back up when my baby didn't come home from the hospital for 52 days
I got back up when my baby had a stroke
I got back up when they told me he might lose his arm.
I got back up when I got the 100th medical bill
I got back up when they tried to throw me out of preschool for blogging
I got back up when we almost lost our house
I got back up when my daughter was in the hospital for weeks with an illness we couldn't name
I got back up when my company went under
I GOT BACK UP!

And it's hard to get back up. And sometimes I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK UP. And lately I feel myself having to GET BACK UP AGAIN.

But I am reminded. I AM AN EXPERT IN GETTING BACK UP.

So I will.
And I do.
And I am.

Thank you Lisa Nichols.





Cindy Cawfords Un Retouched Photos- Sexy still? ARE WE ENOUGH?


By now you've probably seen this un retouched photo released released by Marie Claire. Marie Claire will be publishing a full spread of Cindy with no airbrushing or retouching.

What do you think? Still sexy?

I have to admit it was a shock to see this at first. My mind is so used to the perfection of models and the beauty industry, that this floored me. At first I was shocked.....and then I felt VALIDATED.

So many actresses are waltzing around Hollywood, three weeks after having their babies, wearing skinny jeans and ready to get back to work. Or their 40 and fabulous in the magazines with zero wrinkles and cellulite FREE.

I love Cindy for showing us that even a supermodel, who has access to every cream, potion and procedure, shows us this is the REALITY of AGING.

And guess what. It's NOT as bad as THE MEDIA and THE BEAUTY industry has lead us to believe! We are constantly being show that we're not good enough. Really? I'm no supermodel but I have experience, real knowledge and have been through A LOT. Two kids, one round of IVF, 52 days in the hospital with my son, one husband, three pets, and SEVEN FISH. Yes. Don't ask.

Think of this picture when you're thinking you're not aging well, not feeling sexy, and realize THIS
IS SEXY. And you're ENOUGH.

And I'M ENOUGH.

'NUFF SAID.

Valentines Day Favors For Kids!

Are you ready for Valentines Day? You have some time to do some crafty Valentines Day favors for you kids classmates if you start now! Here are some fun ideas:

Valentines Book Marks!

How cute are these? I found them on Party On Purpose!


Fish Bowl Valentines With Swedish Fish from Faboolous!


Will Zoo Be Mine? From Blue Robin Cottage


Baking cup flowers from Skip to My Lou! So cute!!!!


All this and more on my Pinterest Board!