Friday Five! Cardio Barre, The Blacklist and The Eagles Oh My!

Hi!

Here are the things I am loving right now! Brought to you by these lovely ladies: A. Liz Adventures, Hello! Happiness, The good life blog and Carolina Charm.

1. Cardio Barre-

Ladies I cannot tell you how long it had been since I exercised! I am now re invigorated after discovering Cardio Barre. It's low impact, high energy and fun. Have you tried it?

This is a video of the guy who runs my studio!




2. The Blacklist

James Spader is back and more evil than ever! I just love him and the show is riveting! Check it out on NBC!

 

3. I made this Greek Yogurt Chicken from Laloosh and it was great! You don't even need to marinate it. Just whip it up!

Lowfat and delicious!

4. I went to see the Eagles in concert and I have to say I was pretty impressed. They sounded great and were funny as hell. Go see them if you can :)

5. The Target Ankle Skinny Jean is rocking my world. Just got the dark denim too. Hello they are $11!!!!! The have cute little zippers on the back of the ankle!

How Much Is Too Much Screen Time? Is TV the devil?

I have to admit something. I love TV. I grew up on TV and it was a comfort to me. It was a sense of calm, consistency and love in my home. I know, I know, I should have been reading. I was watching Carol Burnett. I digress....

These days it's not just TV bombarding kids it's Ipads, I touches, Wii, Nintendo, Movies, everything!!!!!! It's a lot. I have one of those kids that LOVES video games. Part of the reason is with all his surgeries we needed something for him to do during his down time. A life with no screen time is not right for our family due to circumstances beyond our control. Nevertheless I worry about the amount of screen time Landon has.

Right now Landon watches 2 hours of TV a day, and only gets to play Wii a few hours on the weekend.

Then I found this on Mashable:

"The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggests kids ages two years old and younger be completely screen-free. All other children should get no more than two hours a day. That might prove difficult when households, on average, have eleven consumer electronic devices, according to the Joan Ganz Cooney Center. That means TV sets, tablets, gaming devices, laptops, MP3 players and more. 

Although not all parents seem to mind the constant stimuli. iYogi Insights found that parents are fine with their young kids spending two hours a day on iPads and about a quarter believe it's OK to give their child unlimited access. Almost all parents (92%) approve of their kids using the iPad as a homework tool, but 57% also admitted to using it to keep kids "out of their hair.""

Okay now that I really think about it Landon probably gets 4 hours of screen time a day including all of these things!!! CRAP. He wakes up and we put the TV on. After homework and bath we have TV on and sometimes he does Ipad. Coco on the other hand just wants to play in her room! Did I mention they also watch movies in the car on the way to school? HOLY HELL I HAVE TO REIGN THIS IN!!!!

So it seems that Mrs. TV has given birth to Mr. TV Jr. I'm going to start cutting back. How much screen time do you allow?

Stay Tuned. I mean...I'll post more on this later. Darn TV!

I'm reading this article on how to cut back!

Downton Abbey- Okay I'm Into It

It takes me a while to get into things....if I do at ALL.

I never did watch LOST.

Don't really feel like I lost anything....

I have never seen a full episode of Modern Family...Shocking!

But since I have friends with the DVD's of seasons 1 and 2 of Downton Abbey....I decided to give it a roll. I have to admit from the first episode I was not hooked. I was not entirely sure I wanted to commit. By the second episode I was in.

Now I'm on to season two, war is messing everything up. You see I am watching this for drama and fancy parties. I really do not need the reality of war! Now there's peril, perjury and paralyzation. DANG. I wanted silverware, silliness and snide remarks. Okay I'm still getting that. After all they are English.

I have to say it's wonderful to see Maggie Smith, the matriarch. She is so funny and adds so much life to the show. I love Brendan Coyle (Mr. Bates...Mr. BAaaaaaaaates) and Michelle Dockery (Lady Mary) is a genius actress. One minute I loathe her the next I feel sorry for her and the next I feel proud of her. Good times.

Are you watching? Don't tell me anything beyond season two! Bad enough I hear things on the news!

Opah's Next Chapter Lessons- TD Jakes

I am beyond obsessed with Oprahs Next Chapter. On this show Oprah does one on one interviews and shares amazing experiences. It has depth, creativity and inspires me to no end.

I am devoting this week to some of my favorite shows. Today's post is about Bishop T.D. Jakes. Bishop T.D. Jakes is a pastor at a mega church in Dallas called The Potter's House. I had heard of him but had never heard him preach. Oprah attended one of his services and then interviewed him one on one.

I love going to church, and go regularly. I really love when a preacher literally blows your mind. A preacher who can take a bible story you already know but show it to you in a brand new way is amazing. Bishop was preaching the story of Jesus blessing the 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish. Of course, at that point, it was not enough to feed everyone.

So in essence...

Jesus was blessing something that was not enough. 

Let's just stop right there. So powerful. Still grateful when really, they needed much more!
 
Until you can be thankful for something that is not enough...what you have cannot be multiplied into what is more than enough.

When he broke the bread. It multiplied. So the blessing was in the breaking. That which refuses to be broken refuses to be blessed. The breaking of life produces the blessings!

Holy moly. I know that the most blessed people I have ever met, have been broken by something in their lives. This really made me think about how grateful I am for what I DO have. So hard to be grateful when you want more than you have!

Have you been broken? Blessed? Are you blessing what is not enough?

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills- My White Elephant Lunch at Villa Blanca!

My three best girls and I wanted to do a little holiday lunch together to celebrate the holidays (and give us a reason to drink champagne). We decided to make it a White Elephant lunch, where we bring a gift, out it in the center of the table and draw numbers to see who gets to pick first. What makes this better than a Secret Santa, is that you can steal from the person before you! It's hilarious.

After discussion on where we would lunch we picked Villa Blanca. I had seen the restaurant on the Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills and was in love with Lisa Vanderpumps floral arrangements, not to mention Giggy her Pomeranian.

So off we went and Villa Blanca did NOT disappoint! The manager, Michael and I became fast friends and he offered us Lisa's personal table! It was fabulous!!

We dined on Spicy tuna on crispy rice (to die for),  Lobster salad, Tomato and Burrata cheese, Pasta with rock shrimp and Pizza!


Here's the burrata and tomato. AMAZING!

And here's how the White Elephant went. Fur scarf was opened. Then cuff bracelet. Cuff bracelet was stolen. Earrings were opened. Then Scarf was stolen, and necklace went to the original opener. Love it!!

Lisa Vanderpump was a gracious host and came to greet us at our table. She is absolutely gorgeous in person and looks fabulous! She was in the highest heels I have ever seen! Then her husband brought over Giggy and we all ooohed and aahhhed. He is too cute!

What are you doing with your girlfriends to celebrate the holidays? Why not plan your own White Elephant lunch!?

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills- I thought I had a stroke but it was my false eyelashes making my eye look smaller

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had a lot of hype but did not disappoint. I must admit that even though I live in Los Angeles, and am in Beverly Hills quite a bit, this is NOT the crowd I run in so I find it FASCINATING. The first episode was an introduction to the wives of Beverly Hills.

Lisa, Joan Collins looking British bomb shell has more money than God and lives in what looks like Caesar's Palace. They have spared no expense, I personally love the king bed by the pool. She's been married to Ken since she was 21. She says" My husband calls me a sex object, my husband asks for sex and I object". Hilarious. They have grown kids and are empty nesters unless you count their stupid little dog and fabulous gay houseboy. I loved Lisa right away. 

Adrienne Maloof, is the sister of the Maloof brothers that own the Palms in Las Vegas, a basketball team, a music label, and whatever else they feel like. She's married to Paul, but they already seem divorced. She is little and fiesty, and likes things her way. She also thinks Paul's an idiot. I personally think he is pretty sweet and she needs to be nicer! Adrienne is a big fan of a colorful silk blouse and rhinestone belt.

Camille Grammar, wants us all to know she is a dancer and she danced on club MTV and she is her own person. They even show her dancing and it is NOT GOOD. I want to tell her to thank her lucky stars she married Kelsey Grammar (yes they are already divorced). I think Camille missed the Bravo in house publicity meeting where they tell you what not to say on camera, and how to make people actually like you. For instance, admitting you have four nannies for two kids is retarded. Their house is amazing, pool, pond, tennis court, 17 acre wonderland. Kelsey says it's time for Camille to get a little attention. Oh, so that's what this is about. PS I am glad you really are Fraisure Crane, cause you are him in real life! Camille always says something inappropriate which makes her kinda fun.

Taylor Armstrong is the duck lipped wife of some big shot. She looks like a She-nene so it's hard to really listen to anything she says. She heads right over to Adriennes husband Paul to put some filler into her temples. She literally looked like the elephant man with the mumps. She is doing all of this because she thinks her husband will leave her for a twenty year old. She is constantly preparing to be left by him. She says her relationship is 80% business and 20% romance. Good God that is depressing. Can't wait to see what happens.

Kim Richards is the sister of Kathy Hilton. More than that she is the girl from Escape From Witch Mountain. I freaked out when she said this because I loved her! Despite this, she quickly became my least favorite on the show. A bad attitude, mixed with her obsession with her kids, and her clinging to her long gone career made me sick. She loved to tell how her niece Paris Hilton was amazed at how famous she is. Barf.

Kyle Richards is the sister of Kim, and seems to be the only normal one. Yes, she buts into her sisters life but at least she tells her the truth. They are co-dependent as hell so it's like watching to cats fight in a bag. She was a child actress as well. I remember her from Little House On The Prairie! Too funny. She seems like a good mother and wife and her husband Mauricio, seems like a sweetheart. I think I would really like to get into her closet and borrow her clothes. By far she has some of the best one liners.

The girls head to Sacramento to watch a Kings game (courtesy of Adrienne) and Kyle freaks out on the plane. She hates to fly. She apparently is a hypochondriac. She actually said one time "I thought I had a stroke but it was my fake eyelashes making my eye look smaller." Hysterical. Camille on the other hand loves to stop the conversation with phrases like "cover your rat". Pretty. She even danced these sexy dances with the basketball team mascot. KLASSY.  Kim just dials out and puts up a wall when she's with he girls. Kind of a party pooper.

What's next for these ladies? Cat fights, betrayals, sex, divorce and a lot of botox. That's how they do it in Beverly Hills.

Real Housewives Of New Jersery- Reunion Part Two-Who's In The Lady Pool Now?

Last week we watched as the drama ramped up to an insane level with Theresa jumping up and practically attacking Danielle. But as Andy said "they were just getting started".

They start with the incident at the Brownstone. Danielle blames Kim G for everything being so ramped up. She said Kim G was feeding her information. RIGHT. They bring up the gay slur stuff and Danielle says she is a gay advocate and she told Danny he should not have said what he said. She said she no longer speaks to Danny because of that. Still she says Kim G ruined that night.  Little does Danielle know Kim G is waiting in the wings!!!

Danielle then says she is being attacked and walks off. She is sick of the married men comments and Theresa's constant imitating. As she leaves she even gets Jacqueline off the couch! To be honest they are attacking her. Not that she doesn't deserve it, but we know Theresa is no saint. There are a lot of untruths there too. Andy even seems annoyed that Theresa cannot calm down and be civil. And Theresa's "I'm not gonna hit ha" is really starting to be insane.

Jacqueline's daughter Ashley comes up. Jaq tries to say that her daughter is nineteen and she can make her own choices, but what about the years before nineteen? There is a reason she turned out this way. This did not happen over night. Jaq says she's been like this since two? I have two words Military School. Jaq does say they took away her car and have never given it back!

As for death threats from Ashley to Danielle, "Bye" is not a death threat. If so, I killed my UPS man yesterday. As for Danielle answering a tweet about wishing Ashley dead? Of course. You know that happened! The excuse that Danielle is a mother and would never say something like that to Ashley is BS. Danielle has done, and continues to do things that are VERY UN-MOTHERISH. Then, the funniest thing ever happens. Danielle brings out a mannequin head with extensions on it to show how hard it is to pull out. At this point Caroline is practically peeing in her pants. Andy pulls and pulls but cannot pull that weave out. It kind of backfired! Seems like it can't be done!

Kim G, who is talked about constantly on the reunion shows, is then brought out and let me tell you NO ONE is happy. She walks out in what can only be called an 80's prom dress with what looks like some newly re-done horse teeth. Kim G is confronted by Caroline and Kim G has a bunch of excuses. Then Kim complains to Caroline about her seating at The Brownstone and when Caroline backs her down she does. This does not go the same for Theresa. When it is brought up that Theresa blogged about Kim G's "old lady butt crack" on the stripper pole. They got into it! Theresa did not back down and Kim G was about to throw down! Kim G has the same potty mouth Theresa does, she was cursing at Danielle all over the place!

Finally they talk about the showdown between Caroline and Danielle. Caroline thought it was ridiculous that Danielle showed up with armed guards when she is 5 foot 1 and she has never threatened Danielle. Caroline wants her to drop the charges and Danielle refuses. She says it was in the states hands which Jacqueline says is BS. The judge said she could drop it, asked her to, and she would not.

Theresa then says "Jacqueline would have never pressed charges if it was your daughter".

This sends Jacqueline into a new mode. She says she is sorry, doesn't like how she is acting. That this all has to stop. Danielle agrees. She apologizes. At this point no one knows what the hell is going on. Danielle even says she "embellished things" because she LOVED Jacqueline. Caroline rolls her eyes. Jaq says "it feels good to release it all, you will hear nothing else from me". Danielle cries crocodile tears. "I'm sorry for everything to do with Ashley, I care about her"...WTF!? Then she says: "you and I know what we were to each other."...ummmm what? Who says that to anyone but a LOVER? At this point I am as confused as Andy Cohen.

Danielle then says she will contact her attorneys and stop the Ashley charges.

Theresa steps in and says all she wants is to focus on her daughters now take Danielle down.

Then out of nowhere Daneile jumps up and HUGS THERESA! HOLY HELL! Caroline almost DIES! Then she goes over to jaq and hugs her too! While they are hugging for what seems like an ETERNITY, Danielle pets her head and whispers in her ear.


"No more, you have my word. I'm moving on and I'm happy. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I love you."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT? Now I am convinced that Jaq at some point took a dip in the lady pool. I cannot understand their relationship otherwise! I think Danielle took advantage of her! Then when Jaq wanted out the fight began! That's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

Then Danielle offers to shake hands with Caroline who reluctantly does.

Now Andy tries to end it there but NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Caroline says it's all BS! "I'm not going to say everything's lollipops and roses, cause it's not".

Danielle then tells her to let Jacqueline be her own person and stop telling her what to do.

At this point Andy cuts it all off and ends it because lord knows after eight hours someone has to! Did you watch

Real Housewives Of New Jersery Reunion- Part 1- Who's The Toughest Housewife?

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey had not been together in a year and boy did they have some pent up Jersey Girl ANGER!

This made me wonder who is the toughest housewife. You know, the one you KNOW could kick your ass, even in an evening gown. Let's proceed.

Theresa could not wait to KILL Danielle. She started with relating her to the sluts on the Jersey shore, and then accused her of having sex with someone she knew for a week while her kids heard. This was at Theresa's shore house apparently. All this happened in the first six seconds!

After that they went into babies godmothers, and then Dina comes up. Hot button issue. Andy Cohen stirs up trouble asking what it was that Caroline accused Danielle of doing to Dina. Turns out Danielle tried to have Dina's daughter taken away from her. Huh? How could that even happen? Can unfit mothers accuse unfit mothers? This sets up a firestorm where everyone is saying Danielle is a liar and that there is evidence. Suddenly Jaqueline (before now know as softy housewife) becomes a true Jersey girl and tells Danielle to "shut your mouth you piece of garbage".  That was pretty tough. She is back in the running!

But, that little moment was nothing compared to Theresa losing it over Danielle saying she didn't really acknowledge her nephew? Theresa jumps up gets in Danielles face, curses and when Andy Cohen tries to pull her off Theresa knocks him OVER! Even when Danielle gets up, and leaves the set Theresa, now being held by Andy (although they needed Jerry Springers body guards at this point!), she still tries to go after her cursing and throwing pillows after Danielle.

This is when the godmother Caroline (I could not love her more, 70% of viewers want her to be their mother! Me included! LOL) Manzo steps in and literally grabs the face of Theresa to calm her down. At this point Theresa has gone into Kelly Bensimon crazy. I mean she's losing it. Andy calls for a commercial break but even when they come back Theresa is still LOSING IT! She literally cannot calm down.

Danielle, now backstage, rightfully tells Andy that if Theresa gets up off the couch again she's leaving. Theresa is like a rabid pitbull, I don't blame Danielle for being wary. Andy, seemingly annoyed, asks her to come back. Theresa adds her two cents saying "you betta get ha back here Andy! Chicken #$% that she is!" Hmmm...maybe Theresa is the toughest. She has the crazy side down too.

Andy tells Theresa she cannot get off the couch. Theresa's like "I'm not gonna hit ha"....I love it.

Meanwhile Danielle is backstage with her "partner", (is this for real or for show? ) and Caroline mentions that she may go after Theresa for attacking Danielle. (JUICY!) Cut to Danielle crying backstage. Then Danielle and her scientology team start chanting : Amazing things, new beginnings." This reminds me of the movie where Eddie Murphy was in a group called "Mind Head (scientology) and their phrase was : Keep it together- K.I.T!! LOL

Caroline, on stage with Jaqueline and Theresa, says to not let their emotions get the best of them, that this is what Danielle wants. "She wanted this moment and you gave it to her". She tells Theresa she has never seen her like this and that she would not be Theresa's friend if she acted like this. Then there's some BS about Danielle introducing Jaqueline to her fertility doctor.

Caroline gets very emotional when Albies learning disability and him not being asked back to school. She says things with a new school don't look positive for him. Sad. Then onto the real information. SHE SHAVES HER FACE, with soap or lotion. I am telling you I may try it.

Then on to Danielle VS Theresa who dresses their kids better. Danielle says she dresses her dogs in leopard. Nuff said!  Caroline says that Danielles kids have not light or innocence in their eyes. Danielle defends herself and her kids. Jaqueline says that Danielle's kids cry every day at school and go to the principals office daily.  If that is true, that's sad. Danielle tells her kids way too much.

Now on to Theresa and her money. Here's when it gets interesting. Andy Cohen quotes the New York Post on how deep in debt she is. She denies being in foreclosure and having that much debt. She says Joe didn't tell her how bad things were. She handled it pretty well. On Joes accident though, I call BS. He drank after the accident? Come on. He had to have drank at dinner and just gotten tired.

Danielle talks about her relationship with Danny. The other housewives accuse Danielle of having an affair and ending Danny's marriage. She talks about being a Born Again Virgin (LOL) and her song with lesbian super star Lauren Michaels. She won't call her relationship with Lauren anything, but she acts like she is "dipping in the lady pool" as Andy says. She also confirmed two sex tapes (GROSS!) One that a third party shot! YUCKO. Again, when they are trying to pin her down to when the tapes happened, she was vague. Theresa mentions that Danielle is not a good example as a Mother and Danielle screams at her. She says stop talking about me. Then Theresa once again goes KKB (this is my new adjective for crazy, the monogram of Kelly Killoren Bensimon), and has the craziest eyes I've ever seen.

This is when I had my answer. Toughest housewife, one I do not want to meet in a dark alley, is the one who uttered: "Bitch I never talk about you, skanky whore! It's for the frickin' TV show". Thank you Theresa for letting us all know. You don't mess with Jersey.

Cannot wait for PART TWO!!!
Did you watch?

Real Housewives of New Jersey- Kim G Double Agent? Or worst actress EVER?

After an enjoyable night tweeting about the Bachelorette finale (OMG, she chose Roberto even though I had heard she chose no one! Hate Reality Steve!) I am back to my beloved New Jersey Housewives, or as Caroline Manzo calls them: The Houzewivez of New Jerzey.

When we last left the ladies, there was a sixteenth birthday, a fake 10th anniversary ring given, and of course some legal issues. Regular New Jersey stuff.

Theresa starts to plan Audriana's christening party at The Brownstone (I am having every party there from now on), and wants ice sculptures in the shape of a cross and Audrianas name.  Rather than sporting her normal Snooki Poof, Theresa had a more subdued giant sequined headband. Throughout this planning Joe is dying because "the money ain't flowin like it used to."

Danielle takes her now sixteen year old to her first gyno appointment and promptly grills her about sex. Now Danielle is incredibly virginal and demure so I can understand why she would be the perfect role model in this regard. This is like a stripper teaching ballet dancing.

Meanwhile Kim G is stalking her kid and the gorgeous fabulous Caroline Manzo's kid cause she wants to go to lunch. There were two problems with this. One, she needs to stop wearing leggings and sequin sweaters cause she is 74 years old, and two BUTT OUT! I can see why she wants face time with he Godfather (mother), Caroline Manzo rules the town, and it's people, so Kim G must have a special request.

Theresa dresses the girls and ready's herself for the most Italian christening ever. Every girl has a poofy dress, head band and jewelry. Joe is still annoyed about the money and would rather remain shirt free as usual. The fabulous Dina Manzo came back for this episode and sweet jesus I missed her. No one can rock a 10 pound earring better than her. Dina dresses the baby (who is so cute), and off they go. In the car Joe lectures "I hate when you throw a party", ie "stop spending money!".

Danielle goes over to double secret agent Kim G's house and uncovers yet another Danielle drama. She wants to look for her "real" mother who had her at fifteen. Kim G, tearful, offers to help. There's a love fest, but you know what's coming. Melt down city.

Back at the christening Audriana, drowning in layer after layer of lace, is baptized by a priest who's face is blurred out. Hoping this isn't because he's in the mafia. After, the party at the Brownstone turned out to be less over the top than I thought. The ice sculpture with Audrianas name on it was only four feet high with angel wings, there was bread saying god bless Audriana and Marie Antionette was serving sushi. No biggie. Dina, no stranger to a party, changed into a whole different dress and showed off the rhinestone cake and favors she came up with. Not tacky, just Theresa! Everyone bawled at Audriana first dance at the christening with her parents. Oh you didn't do a first dance at your christening? What's wrong with you? Oh you didn't have 200 people, a DJ, and a sit down dinner? I did! Wait. that was my wedding. Good luck Joe, you are going to the poor house for sure! LOL

Later with Danielle and the kids, she hears that Theresa knows all about her search for her Mom. Now Danielle knows that Kim G is a double agent. She leaves the table to call her ex con friend. She's gonna get even, but on her terms.

Caroline hears from her son that Kim G wants to go to lunch. She has no interest. "Kim will have her uh oh moment with Danielle, they all do". Spoken like a true Godmother.

Kim G is a famewhore, there's no doubt. She has been inserting herself into every situation. She shows up at Jacquelines house, bitching and moaning about Danielle. She says she's been up since 3am, because Danielle sent someone an email saying not to be friends with Kim G. She says she's been a good friend, but let's be serious she played Danielle. She was trying, just like in high school, to improve her social status and get in with the show and the Manzos. She got on the show because she befriended Danielle, but now wants to be friends with the other girls.

Danielle takes her ex con to ambush her soon to be ex best friend. Why they want to do this at a restaurant is beyond me. Maybe the restaurant is paying for the publicity! Come have dinner at Portabello! The place Kim G and Danielle had their blow out! Try the fettucine alfredo! Danielle shows up and sits down with double agent Kim G. At this point it would have been fabulous for Kim G to say "all is going as planned, they think I hate you, and I'm in with them!" BRILLIANT! But no, instead Kim G throws a napkin and says "you're a goddamn liar and a sneak". It was kinda funny to see her keep trying to escalate things like she had a beef with Danielle. Danielle looked more sane then ever before! She even tries to leave and Kim G curses her out the door! Why?

Because Kim G wants it to look like she is choosing to not be friends with Danielle, not that she was caught. She wants it to look like she hates Danielle and wants nothing to do with her because just like the others she's been screwed over. Nice try Kim G. And ps: calling someone "square tits" is not only not nice, but it's tacky. Tackier than Theresas christening party. And that's tacky.

Real Housewives Of New Jersey- Country Clubbed and Translated Just for Youz

First of all I am from the east coast. While born in Raleigh, I was raised in Scarsdale, New York, so that makes me some what of an authority on New Jersey and the surrounding areas. 
Let me breakdown what happened on this latest installment of the Real Housewives of New Jersey so we can all be on the same page.

The episode begins, where we left off at the Posche fashion show, a very high Klass event at the North Jersey Country Club. Theresa is waiting for Danielle outside in the hallway. Theresa is waiting for her in the hallway, just like the bullies did in school after class got out. To kick her ASS.

Theresa baits Danielle with "I'm the nicest person", you know, so I thought I'd say Hi. (Table flipper, money spender, hot headed Italian princess yes, nice? NO.) Danielle says she doesn't know her to be nice. Here's the rest of my translation.

Theresa: You got me to that point. (This whole thing is your fault bitch so kiss my Italian booty)
Danielle: No Theresa you make your own decisions. (I'm above you, this, and stripping, unless it's for fun)
Theresa: No honey... (Listen bitch)
Danielle: Don't call me honey (Don't call me bitch)
Theresa: I don't want to call you honey, cause you are an old hag, bitch. Is bitch better? ( I was going to call you a prostitution whore but I was being nice. So now I will call you PW for short)
Danielle: That's e-#$%^-nuff. (I may slap you, I'm serious)

That starts a whole bag of drama, where everyone is up in arms and starting to go crazy. Then Theresa says:
Theresa: Don't forget I'm from Patterson. Did you forget? (Listen PW, I am from the wrong side of the tracks and I am un-afraid to physically assault you)
Danielle: I saw the home you lived in before you moved into the mansion. (I don't believe you would really do anything in front of all these people)
Theresa: That's a five million dollar home (Oh really, wanna see?)
Danielle: And it's in foreclosure! (Bring it on BITCH!)

That starts Theresa running after Danielle, calling her a coke whore, being held back by everyone. Please tell me you saw the blonde who is now the star of the show who looked at the camera and said: "This is#$%^ BS!"
Priceless
I digress.

So Theresa is chasing Danielle through the country club,  and outside where she hides in the bushes. While everyone keeps Theresa away, Theresa Jr (Jacquelines daughter Ashley) yanks her extensions out of her head saying "love and light! Stay in the positive bitch!" I mean you could not write better television.

Danielle goes to her limo to cry and Theresa is still trying to get to her. She even stands in front of the car so she can't leave. Danielle cries to the very two faced Kim G, and Jacqueline orders her daughter to go home. Theresa goes back inside but Jacqueline stands by Danielle's car while she calls the police.

When the police arrive, you see how truly "Patterson" Theresa is. The cops want to talk her about what happened. She says "What? What happened? What report? I didn't do anything, she's the one who's the coke whore not me."

The next morning at the Godfather's house (Caroline Manzo, my favorite person of all time), to tell her what happened. She tells them you gave Danielle just what she wanted. She wanted to be the victim and say you were mean girls and you gave it to her. RIGHT!!!

Later Theresa tells Joe about what happened. Now I see where Gia gets her acting talents from! There was one reason she told Joe the story. Foreplay. Joe loved the story of Theresa trying to attack Danielle, he smiled and loved it all.

Jacqueline later gets a call from Danielle's Energist. Yes people, the ultra zen Danielle, has an energist. Guess the priest gave up on her! The fact that Jacqueline will even take this call makes me like her, she was wondering what the hell this was about! She tells the energist whatever she is doing with Danielle it's not working! LOL. The energist turns the tables and says she's calling about her! She tries to send energy to calm her down through the phone. Jacqueline starts to play a video game on the phone. So damn funny!!!!

Meanwhile Albie is starting a law suit against his law school, Danielle is gonna press charges, and Ashley will be thrown out of the house if she talks to Danielle again. And that's the way we do it in New Jersey. Did you watch?

Real Houswives of NY- Money Can't Buy You Class- Or Earplugs

Everyone was relieved when Kelly left, everyone was feeling the LOVE. They were getting massages, mani/pedi's relaxing when all of the sudden...


HIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! SURPRIIIIIIIIIISE!

No one wanted Jill or Bobby there. No one could even muster up a polite smile. Jill had no business going. She was invited and said NO. The end! WTF!

Ramona shuts her down! Jill did not know what to do or say. It's then that I realize that Jill's voice is like sand paper on your eyeball. Alex starts bawling. The sight of Jill just wiped her out. Jill gets upset about the rejection but she comes on too strong and does NOT get it!

Ramona really tries to be the peace keeper. She tries to talk to Jill who tries to play the "I spent so much money on a private plane", "I thought we were friends", yada, yada, yada. How Jill thought anyone would want her there is insane. She left saying she wanted to talk to Bethenny? She hated being ambushed and now she does the same thing? PSYCHO.

Then as they try to have a peaceful dinner Ramona chokes and pukes. I swear to god this is the most cursed trip ever. This makes the Titanic voyage look like a pleasure cruise.

Next came a bridal shower for Bethenny and Ramona. Out come the pearl handcuffs. Ramona gets so flustered. Even though the crystal S&M products were fabulous she was embarrassed!

Back in New York, the Kelly, LuAnn and Jill go to lunch. Kelly says everyone was one upping and gossiping. Is she talking about herself? She even said she was trying to talk to Bethenny, but she was attacked. Such a joke. LuAnn, the judge and jury as always, criticizes her for the use of hoe-bag, the cook comment etc. Thank God LuAnn gets that Kelly is white trash. Kelly even brings up her crazy jellybean fetish. They are all confused and know she's insane. Now everyone knows she is cuckoo!! FINALLY!

Sonja, who is a walking Samantha from Sex and The City, has an cocktail party. Bethenny us there, and LuAnn tries to grill her about the trip. It seems like LuAnn might actually believe Bethenny. Either way Bethenny feels so much better that everyone sees Kelly's crazy side!

Later at Jill's "focacta" skating party (boy I am workin' the Yiddish!), Jill dons a 12 year olds skating dress and falls on her ass. I mean this is KARMA. She decides she's going to call Bethenny and go to lunch. Boy is she sorry that she has taken this fight to the level she has. Shows you that you cannot take friendship lightly. Bethenny agrees to lunch. I cannot wait to see how this goes.

Ramona, ever becoming the wisest and most calm presence in the group, calms KKB down, yet again, when she tries to accuse her of betrayal. Kelly really believes that everyone else is crazy and she is the victim. She even tells Jill why her surprise visit was not well received. Ramona says if she had acknowledged all the bad blood and not tried to steamroll everyone, things may have been different. SHE IS RIGHT!  I am looking forward to seeing how Bethenny and Jill do at their lunch but I have no high hopes. On the other hand anything is better than LuAnn's singing!

Real Housewives of NY- Money Can't Buy You Class Or Too Much Pinot Grigio Part 1!

The drama level is creeping up, up,up! Leave it to the Real Housewives Of New York to show that even in St. John, things can still get crazy.

Ramona takes most of the housewives on a trip to St. John for a Bachelorette fantasy weekend. Jill and The Countess did not go because they knew it would be the circus of the century. And it was.

The episode starts with Kelly again getting into fights with Bethenny. She says she is sick of her "vile behavior", but the only vile person was Kelly (vile behavior=wearing a bunny suit and showing up late to your own Halloween party). She is still all over Bethenny, calling her a cook not a chef. Let's be honest. This is like calling a landscape designer a gardener. She went to culinary school. It's so obvious that Kelly is jealous and evil. In the middle of picking the fight Kelly starts the crazy train, throwing out the term "satchels of gold". This was her insult to Bethenny. Huh? Yep. The next day Kelly brings out a pad of paper where she says they can write down their complaints. At this point I was hoping Bethenny, who is ever patient at this point, would bitch slap her. I would even like Bethenny's baby to bitch slap her too. This might have stopped the Jerry Springer episode that this became. Read on.

Bethenny, because it's clear she is the only one with style and class, gives all the girls a monogrammed Skinny girl bag with gifts. A little treat she brought for everyone. Kelly's reaction? She cried. At this point we are all tweeting each other UP THE MEDS KELLY. She calls her partner in drama Jill Zarin. Jill of course thinks poor Kelly is being abused.


Kelly takes the girls off the ship to do a photo shoot. She is wearing these Woody Allen glasses and her bathing suit and looks like an idiot. She has Sonja and the ladies crawling in the sand like cougar tigers looking like a bad Whitesnake video.

Bethenny cooks a lovely meal on the patio for the ladies. After all she needs to prove she's a chef right?

Meanwhile back in NYC Jill is plotting to go to St. John, but for now is practicing her skating. She gets yelled at by one of the coaches to get off the ice because she such an amateur. PRICELESS.

Kelly walks into the dinner talking so loudly on her cell phone no one can hear. Ramona (who is quickly becoming the sanest person on the show and that scares me), tries to get her to talk inside. Kelly starts a huge fight about this clearly because she is losing it. This is the beginning of her downward spiral. She keeps saying Bethenny is attacking her when the opposite is clearly true. Kelly says "I try to be so even tempered but when it comes to my kids, I'll claw your eyes out."

The dinner starts at Kelly hates her food, says Bethennys not that good a cook, and all the other girls are just trying to stop her mouth. She is still talking about Bethenny and they can't stop her. When Bethenny comes out and Kelly says she's worried about her being pregnant and doing so much cooking. HUH? Okayyyyyy... The dinner becomes insane with Kelly telling everyone at the table to "zip it".

Poor Bethenny, I wish she could have had a glass of wine through this whole ordeal, but the really great thing is that all the girls saw how crazy Kelly really is. They were literally calling her crazy to her face and she was not denying it. Bethenny tries to get to the bottom of things, telling Kelly (like in A few good men) "she can handle the truth". Kelly says stop acting like Al Sharpton. Um what? IQ=0. Kelly says it's all because Bethenny went after her kids in the press oh and that Bethenny was mean to her friend Gwyneth Paltrow. HAAHAHA!!! Poor Gwyneth! Who would want to admit a friendship with KRAZY KELLY!

At this point Kelly is eating Jelly beans and looks insane. They all realize she is really needing help and try to be sweet to her. Bethenny says she will not attack.

The episode ends with confirmation that Jill is in fact going to show up. Bethenny's reaction is the best. Jill's like "helllooooooooo" and Bethenny rolls her eyes and says it's like a horn honking!

No TV? WTH!

Turns out there's some wayward satelite that is spinning around out of control and nearly colliding with another satelite that supplies our cable TV! WHAT?! First of all, do we have that many satelites up in the air that they are even that close? What is it a satelite parking lot where they are literally rear ending each other? I digress.

Scientists are trying to figure out how to stop it from happening, but the wayward satelites navigation system is malfunctioning and instead of shutting down automatically it's still transmitting. This is what I call in scientific terms, not cool.

If TV goes away how will I find out what happened to the black bear that was found dumpster diving in New Jersey? Moreover, how will I hear about the Real Housewives of New Jersey? I need to know if Jaquelines crazy daughter is going get herself pregnant, when Theresa is going have her baby and stop being pregnant, and if Danielle will get her daughters taken away for living vicariously through their "Modeling Careers", cause she never should have been pregnant in the first place.

I remember reading Little House On The Prairie, about them, in their wagon, braving the elements, only candle light to guide them. God that stressed me out. The only time I want candle light is out at a fabulous restaurant with the Mr.

So listen hear scientists, you better figure this thing out. This should be your top priority! We cannot live without our TV. We don't want to rough it. Hell, they even have TV on the prairie.

Real Houswives of NY-

I am starting to think these ladies are all insane. I was even thinking Ramona was the sane one but that's now out the window.


Let's begin shall we?

The countess goes to see her good friend Sonia Morgan. Not only does her face NOT MOVE, but she is dating Kelly's hot Max. (Kelly's face when she found out read: "there's no way he would date you, he dated me!".) What does Sonia have a golden vagina? In what universe is this woman pretty or sexy? Her poor assistant has to deal with her delusional life. Her getting botox in her neck freaked me out. I do like her attitude though, and her Miami closet, her Aspen closet etc. I may have to start liking her, so she can give me clothes. I'm not homeless but I have gone down a size. I need a Chanel suit with the tags on Thank you. 


Kelly is either the stupidest person on the earth or the crafty-est bitch of all time. Her PR 101 and 102 speech to Jill is intriguing. Her relationship with Bethanny was bad press (all press is good press but if it lasts too long it's BAD), so she turned it around. PR 102 is complimenting the person to take the heat off! Someone recently tried this on me and sad to say it worked! I think Kelly may be rising in my esteem. Could she actually be the smart one? Still hate her in her micro mini's and bunny ears though. Grow up doll. Retire the mini skirt you're OLD.


Jill Zarin is such a crazy mean grudge holder it's bananas. For goodness sakes let it go you big queen. Seriously, you are the toxic one crazy!!! What is up with Jill and LuAnn walking around central park in their high heel boots? They looked like aliens! Jill needs to ATONE for her relationship with Bethanny.

LuAnn is still playing out her countessesness and her BFF role to Jill. Is anyone else sickened by this? So now she has found some French, skinny, jewish guy she likes. Does he like fake people? Perfect. She's all yours.

Bethanny getting snubbed by her Father is sad, but I am happy for her being pregnant. You know she's gonna be the wackiest mother ever (yes more than me).

As for Alex? Come on honey, there cannot be a Brooklyn Fashion week. It's ridiculous and Ramona should never model unless it's for crazy bug eye glasses. Jill was being nasty about the whole thing even though she was RIGHT. If Jill had ANY CLASS, she would have stayed and been gracious. Thank people, compliment idiot Ramona and the whole thing.

Ramona. Ramona...Where do I begin? Waiting for Mario in her nightgown to propose was priceless. She looks alright, but she's just strange! The Kodak party was an eye opener. She confronts Jill about Kodak at the Kodak party? INSANE. RUDE. IDIOTIC. She's like a rouge reporter for TMZ! Jill asking her to leave was priceless. These ladies are a train wreck of bad manners and bad taste.B Ramona telling Kelly she had no brain and wasn't a business woman was hysterical. She's like Vicky from the OC with the whole "I work!!!"

In the end it was Sonias story about Ramona that told us all we want to know. They've known each other twenty years and Ramona tried to steal a dress from her at a sample sale!! Too funny. Doesn't it tell you ALL about Ramona? She is KRAZY.

So the only sane housewife seems to be Bobby Zarin, cause god knows Simon is off the charts insane. His little fashion show made me scared! What did you think?

Real Houswives of NY- Part 2! Where's the party?

As the next episode begins Ramona is spending time with Bethany and her man Jason. Ramona retells the "contess-less" story. Bethany counters with LuAnn "lost her husband and grew a penis" line, classic. Notice that Mario (low blow Mario) looks like a Vegas black jack dealer/ pimp. Ramona dances on the tables like a hooker. They are a perfect match.

LuAnn has her old nanny/ housekeeper over for a very awkward "I miss you cooking for me" moment. But that's okay she has a "new girl", it's "double the work" she says, teaching her. I'm not sure if Rosie got a word in, but LuAnn says they confide n each other. Ahhhh countess. You are so clueless.

At dinner with Simon and Alex, Mario realizes he and Simon are dressed as twins. What is Ramona doing making the rounds? Is she the mayor of the housewives? Because she ain't no "Cameron Diaz!!!" WTF! Mario makes a phone call to LuAnn and leaves a message with an olive branch.

Jill, staying at LuAnns house, calls Ramona on speaker phone (ultimate mean girl trick), and LuAnn hears what Ramona really thinks of her. Wow. Did countess really have boyfriends while married? You know the count had his ladies! LuAnn then recounts the Bethany story and let me say, like in a crazy game of telephone, got the whole conversation wrong. Love women and their friendships don't you? They decide to have their own labor day

Meanwhile, Bethany, looking so sexy with cute Jason, decide to live together. She starts bawling at the prospect of having it all, something she had told herself would never happen. I am loving Bethany this season.

So Ramona has her party, Alex and Simon go (they are trying to be so politically correct it's barfy), and Bethany and Jason. Low and behold Alex and Simon were invited to both parties. Ramona is pissed!

Kelly, who I could care less about and wish would leave the show, comes to LuAnns and has something to tell everyone. Back in jail? Losing your kids to childrens services for being a bad mother? No! Posing for Playboy! Classic. I loved watching them act like it was an honor. So uncomfortable and the way she told them was WEIRD.

So there you have it. Soon we will see Bethany and Jill have it out, I am secretly hoping they patch it up but I think there's no way. Also starting to think this is a big waste of time but dammit get sucked in every time!

Real Houswives of NY- Get a hobby! Part 1!

Good to have the ladies back isn't it? But hold it. No one is friends anymore! And everyone is mmmmmeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaannnn! What should we do with them? Trap them on a boat together!

The episode begins with Ramona hosting everyone but Kelly and Bethenny on her rented Yacht (somehow rent and yacht don't belong in the same sentence but whatever). I love that she showed off her new haircut and brags that she gained five pounds! HA! (Note to self use this to confuse friends and enemies). Either way retire the bikini Ramona. Too much! (Actually all those women on the boat were too old for bikinis!)

Jill says Ramona is cheap because she won't give out free jewelry. It's fun to talk about someone behind their back after they've invited you on their boat!

The Countess, ever since she has become Miss Manners, seems to have lost all of hers. Bringing up how she can't go to Ramona's house because Mario was mean to her saying she was now "countless" rather than the countess, ("low blow" Mario will be his new name) could have been saved for another time. Ramonas reaction was just as insane. All she had to say was, that was mean. I'll talk to him. Instead she went insane. Crying and freaking out. Hello, there's no where to go on the boat! You're stuck!

Then the countess attacks Bethenny the moment she walks into the bar to meet her. She didn't even notice half the things that Bethenny was talking about. Makes fun of her skinny girl car, asks if she's paying for drinks, and is just awful.

Kelly doesn't fool me at all. She's acting humbly, and is acting like she cares about people...come on. No idea what her angle is. Staying on the show? Either way she beat up her boyfriend so we know what kinda girl she is! It rhymes with flashy.

Jill has become the meanest one of all which is sad cause I used to like her! So critical and nasty! Gangs up on everyone and expects everyone to do things her way. She's the ultimate nag which may be why Bethanny told her to "get a hobby".

Bethanny is doing very well. Hot fiance, hot career, hot body! Trifecta! I like her fiance. Seems sweet!


What do we have to looks forward to this season?

The countess sings (gag), Bethenny is knocked up, and we find out just what caused the riff between Bethanny and Jill. Best of all Ramona and her crazy eyes walk in a fashion show and Jill Zarin skates. Fabulous.

Jake & Vienna- Love Means Never Having To Be Friends With Other Women

Yep. He picked her.

After watching last night's finale I have come to a few conclusions.

1. He had no intention of picking Tenley, ever. There was no chemistry, she was too little girly and innocent. He didn't want sweet, he wanted major sexual attraction.

2. Tenley is adorable but dense. He told her there was no "physical chemistry" but she still continues on! Then after he doesn't pick her she keeps asking why? Then on the "after the rose" show she asks if he's worried about hurting Vienna if he can love her as well. Um, there's a book you need to read. It's called: "He's just Not that into you".

3. Vienna has a lazy, glass eye, or some uneven eyes. I am not sure.

4. No one will be happy for Vienna ever, because she has alienated all the other women on the show and America with her bragging about how all the girls hated her. You need girls to like you Vienna. We're the ones who throw showers, bachlorette parties and celebrate your marriage. Get a clue.

5. Speaking of Bachlorette- Ali is up next. I am so on board.


6. Jeffery Osbourne singing live to Vienna and Jake was embarrassing and weird. Just say no Jeffrey Osbourne!

7. Jason and Molly's wedding will air on March 8th. They are saying it's a fairytale ending. I call it a sloppy seconds ending, where you are chosen last and push to the altar so you can prove you won. Sad.

8. Chris Harrison you are hilarious. Two cheeseballs found love and you really were sweet about it.

9. At least this bachelor proposed and didn't say let's just keep dating.

10. Jake, you are stuck with the swamp thing now. We had no idea your taste was so bad. Don't expect us to root for you on Dancing With The Stars. You are no Melissa Rycroft.

Real Housewives Of The OC- Heaven Help Us.

Let us bow our heads and pray, this episode was a doozy.

Oh my, the lunch these ladies attended together was fabulous for many reasons.

a) Gretchen thinks she's at the Kentucky Derby and has discovered hats.
b) Alexis confronted Vicky and her rudeness
and
c) Alexis once again shows she has no understanding of class AT ALL.

Now it is RUDE to talk on the phone while your guests mill around and try to talk over you and your loud personal conversations, but there are many levels of rude. Vicky is an idiot for talking business so loudly at the lunch they had, and it was rude BUT It is VERY rude to talk to your ugly husband a hundred times during a private dinner at a five star restaurant. She did not need to talk to him at all and their conversations were BS. At the very least excuse yourself from the table. COME ON.

Even ruder to bring the table to a grinding halt to confront someone. Can't you pull Vicky aside?

So Vicky was finally told about how rude she really is. Tamara thinks she doesn't know? Um, saying "I work" all the time is rude and she knows it. I think it's funny that she can't be called on her rudeness when she feels free to talk terribly behind their backs. It's called KARMA honey. I loved when Vicky's daughter said "this is why I don't hang out with girls". Look what your mother taught you. You don't have any friends! Vicky is a crybaby who cannot take the heat. Learn from your mistakes! Stop being a permanent victim! PS BEING A MOTHER IS WORK.

Alexis and her hour long rambling prayer for Breanna can take a hike. (of course I hope she doesn't have cancer but that prayer was too little, too late, and too weird) Hate "Christians" who are mean and nasty. HYPOCRITE. She knew she was out of line after the fact, even told her preacher, but still you can still see she feels superior.

Tamara wins for best line: How many flavors of dysfunction can you taste in this lunch".

Moving on.

Gretchens parents don't like Slade (who does?), love the jokes about offing him! Go Daddy! Loved when Slade was like can't see myself with anyone else. Hello? The four other housewives you dated? HA!

Gretchen put a pin in his balloon when she basically said she wasn't ready for marriage. Kinda makes it hard for Slade to ask for your hand!

The person who really needs prayers is Lynne. She was a willing participant in living beyond their means for years and now she's a victim? NO. How the hell did these ungrateful women suddenly decide to kick their Dad to the curb? Hello? He has provided for you all your life and been a good father and husband! Her kids are just like their mother, all about the money! Her other daughter didn't even show up! That being said Frank is an idiot. "You're my princess! Let's take a vacation!' WHAT?

Alexa did reveal they had moved a ton, which can really be stressful and screw kids up. Alexa however, is still the biggest brat on earth and I think that would be the case no matter if they moved or not due to permissive parenting!


Eviction, divorce, money trouble, cancer! What else can happen?!

Reality Round UP- RHOOC

I am blown away by this latest episode. Are you guys still watching or am I the only one?!

Lynne is the worst parent ever. I love when Alexa said "I'd love to find my limit with them but so far, nothing!" and "It's been a free ride my whole life, now they want boundaries?" Hello! The girl is screaming for boundaries and you want to be her cool teenage friends! By the grace of God she will not end up pregnant. You know I'm right! Love that they have hired a "Youthologist". Note to self, start youthology biz to make money off of parents unwilling to set rules and stick to them.

Alexis is insane. She actually thought that drunk girl even cared about her ugly husband? What are they going to get into a brawl!? Funny! Her hubby was loving it. You know he was. She is Klassy with a K!

Gretchen keeps the show interesting. Tupperware party with a drag queen? I am so there. Why is she suddenly the sane one? Scary!

Vicky is down right bragging about not being in the "Hurt locker" like the rest of the girls. "No foreclosure, no short sale..." Watch out Vicky, Karma is a bitch!

Tamara, I am just waiting for her to stop trying to act like Gretchens her problem when it's really her marriage. Get a grip. What's your take on these Krazy Girls? PS was I hearing things or is someone on the Bachelor pregnant?!

Olympics Here We Come

The winter Olympics are in Vancouver starting in February. I am so damn excited. Ralph Lauren is dressing our fabulous athletes, isn't it gorgeous? I swear I get so involved in the Olympics as if I am either the athlete, trainer or coach! I would love if Landon or Coco would be in the Olympics, Oh I know the hard work and sacrifice, but I'd get to go and bawl watching them!

The Olympics always make me think of what event I would love to compete in. Winter would be figure skating for sure. Summer would be pole vaulting. Oh you heard me.

Of course in reality the only events I could do well in right now are: parallel parking, shopping at Marshalls, or party planing. What are your best events?

PS Landon is doing very well!