No TV? WTH!

Turns out there's some wayward satelite that is spinning around out of control and nearly colliding with another satelite that supplies our cable TV! WHAT?! First of all, do we have that many satelites up in the air that they are even that close? What is it a satelite parking lot where they are literally rear ending each other? I digress.

Scientists are trying to figure out how to stop it from happening, but the wayward satelites navigation system is malfunctioning and instead of shutting down automatically it's still transmitting. This is what I call in scientific terms, not cool.

If TV goes away how will I find out what happened to the black bear that was found dumpster diving in New Jersey? Moreover, how will I hear about the Real Housewives of New Jersey? I need to know if Jaquelines crazy daughter is going get herself pregnant, when Theresa is going have her baby and stop being pregnant, and if Danielle will get her daughters taken away for living vicariously through their "Modeling Careers", cause she never should have been pregnant in the first place.

I remember reading Little House On The Prairie, about them, in their wagon, braving the elements, only candle light to guide them. God that stressed me out. The only time I want candle light is out at a fabulous restaurant with the Mr.

So listen hear scientists, you better figure this thing out. This should be your top priority! We cannot live without our TV. We don't want to rough it. Hell, they even have TV on the prairie.