F**** Bomb Mom

Last week I had one of the greatest and simultaneously bizarre things happen to me. I attended a girls night dinner at Nobu Malibu which as you can see was fabulous!

The food was amazing, the view spectacular but.....

Maybe you don't know this about me but when I tell a funny story I like to curse for emphasis. I kind of become a Mommy version of Louis CK.

It's a Saturday Night, I'm out with the girls, we're all giggling and telling funny stories when:

This guy comes up to the table:

At first I thought he was a bus boy. Then I realized he was a patron like myself. He asked me to stop cursing because he was having dinner with his two year old near by. At first I said OF COURSE! SORRY! Then I thought about it a second. Hold on. It's 9pm, at a super fancy sushi place in Malibu, the waves are crashing, house music blaring (how the hell can you hear anything) and you are coming up to my table about your two year old? HELLO?  Then I thought about the BALLS it took for him to come over to a table full of gorgeous, laughing, MOTHERS.

He walked back and I could see who he was sitting with. That's right: HER.

You may remember this girl from this:

A very raunchy performance from the grammys. I can see how this sweet Mom was offended by my cursing in front of her daughter can't you??

I mean she's so INNOCENT. The perfect MOM in every way.

Celebrity entitlement is a crazy thing here in LA. More than that though, she should recognize another Mom trying to make it through this crazy life. And that's all I have to #$%%* say about That!!!

How Much Is Too Much Screen Time? Is TV the devil?

I have to admit something. I love TV. I grew up on TV and it was a comfort to me. It was a sense of calm, consistency and love in my home. I know, I know, I should have been reading. I was watching Carol Burnett. I digress....

These days it's not just TV bombarding kids it's Ipads, I touches, Wii, Nintendo, Movies, everything!!!!!! It's a lot. I have one of those kids that LOVES video games. Part of the reason is with all his surgeries we needed something for him to do during his down time. A life with no screen time is not right for our family due to circumstances beyond our control. Nevertheless I worry about the amount of screen time Landon has.

Right now Landon watches 2 hours of TV a day, and only gets to play Wii a few hours on the weekend.

Then I found this on Mashable:

"The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) suggests kids ages two years old and younger be completely screen-free. All other children should get no more than two hours a day. That might prove difficult when households, on average, have eleven consumer electronic devices, according to the Joan Ganz Cooney Center. That means TV sets, tablets, gaming devices, laptops, MP3 players and more. 

Although not all parents seem to mind the constant stimuli. iYogi Insights found that parents are fine with their young kids spending two hours a day on iPads and about a quarter believe it's OK to give their child unlimited access. Almost all parents (92%) approve of their kids using the iPad as a homework tool, but 57% also admitted to using it to keep kids "out of their hair.""

Okay now that I really think about it Landon probably gets 4 hours of screen time a day including all of these things!!! CRAP. He wakes up and we put the TV on. After homework and bath we have TV on and sometimes he does Ipad. Coco on the other hand just wants to play in her room! Did I mention they also watch movies in the car on the way to school? HOLY HELL I HAVE TO REIGN THIS IN!!!!

So it seems that Mrs. TV has given birth to Mr. TV Jr. I'm going to start cutting back. How much screen time do you allow?

Stay Tuned. I mean...I'll post more on this later. Darn TV!

I'm reading this article on how to cut back!

Family Halloween Costume Ideas

We are already plotting not only our kids Halloween costumes but our family costume theme for parties that happen before Halloween.

This BLT Sandwich could not be better.

Or what about a little Alice In Wonderland?

Not sure we're brave enough for Incredibles!

This is more my speed.

Or this!

What will you be this year?

Parenting: Don't Ask- Just TELL! The Perils of Premissive Parenting!

Maybe I'm living in the dark ages but I can hardly take what I witness these days. Permissive parenting has taken over the universe. Kids are unruly and impolite. Where are the rules? Where is the discipline? Parents don't know how to be parents anymore. They are FRIENDS to their kids. Kiss of death!!!!

I witness kids running all over restaurants, planes, climbing all over things they have no business being on. I see kids being RUDE to their parents and other adults. I have a theory.....

One of the reasons this is happening? ASKING.

Parents all over the place are constantly asking their children everything. I mean everything. Here are a few examples:

Do you need a time out?

Do you want to get down from there?

Do you want to leave?

Do you want to eat dinner?

and my favorite:

Do you Want To Go To Bed?

We are not ASKERS over here. WE TELL. We have a Don't Ask Just Tell Policy. Works like a charm.

We TELL them when to go to bed, eat, leave, go into time out etc. These are not questions. They are statements. When kids are left with the question of do you want to go to bed? What do you think their answer will be? Of course they will want to stay up all night!

Also I see no FOLLOW THROUGH. Even parents who tell their kids to do something, let the whole thing go when the child refuses. These are the battles you have to win now or teenage years will be a hell ride.

Okay, I may have some readers who say One Fab Mom!! Lighten up! Give your kids some freedom and choice! Believe me, I do. They have fun times these kids, but discipline is a MUST. Permissive parenting has nasty affects later on. Studies have shown:

The Effects of Permissive Parenting

Children raised by permissive parents:
  • Lack self-discipline
  • Have poor social skills
  • May be self-involved and demanding
  • May feel insecure due to the lack of boundaries and guidance
Doesn't sound good does it? How do you feel? Are you a permissive parent? Drill Sargent? Something in between? Are you seeing permissive parenting all over the place like me?

What's Your Theme Song- An Ally McBeal Moment

Driving with Coco the other day I was thinking of that Ally McBeal episode with Tracy Ullman (her therapist) where she tells her about getting a Theme Song. She wanted to inspire confidence. Wanted her to feel her power. Wanted her to FEEL.

As I drove with Coco, listening to the Disney station on Pandora...it came to me. My theme song. I know it's corny but....

It's from Princess and Frog. There's something about it. I well up with tears. Here are the lyrics to "Almost there".

Mama! I don't have time for dancing!

That's just gonna have to wait a while
Ain't got time for messing around
And it's not my style
This old town can slow you down
People taking the easy way
But I know exactly where I'm going
Getting closer and closer every day

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People down here think I'm crazy, but I don't care
Trials and tribulations, I’ve had my share
There ain't nothing gonna stop me now ‘cause I'm almost there

I remember Daddy told me: “Fairytales can come true
You gotta make 'em happen, it all depends on you"
So I work real hard each and every day
Now things for sure are going my way
Just doing what I do
Look out boys, I'm coming through

And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
People gonna come here from everywhere
And I'm almost there
I'm almost there

There's been trials and tribulations
You know I've had my share
But I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
I'm almost there!

Oh the rivers and mountains I have crossed. I'm almost there!

What's your theme song? Tell me!

Party Idea- Mexican Party Theme- Tequila Fabuloso!

I will find ANY REASON to have a party! Like when my friend won a $1200 bottle of Asombroso tequila at The Junior League's Casino Angeleno, we just HAD to have a party! So of course I called it:

Tequila Fabuloso!

We could not wait to try to dress in our fabulous theme.

Holly and Kevin brought the Asombroso Tequila they won!

But before we tried this million dollar tequila we needed food! That's where Manouschka of Single Serving came in!

Amazing chef!!! We had stuffed Jalapenos, ceviche, shrimp quesadillas, beef empanadas and more!!

This was a fun group let me tell you!!!

And then the toast and we tried the Asombroso!

And we loved it!! It really tasted amazing. Hints of hazelnut. Unexpected and fabulous!

A gorgeous time with gorgeous husband.

But let's not forgot churros, and avocado ice cream for dessert!!!

Landon's Self Portrait

Sometimes it's hard having a kid that is physically different. Landon's arm is an outside projection that he has challenges. Sometimes I think it's a good thing though. He's forced to talk about his arm. Can't hold it inside, or hide his feelings about it. Landon's attitude about what has happened to him has recently shifted. Maybe it's his age. He began to be upset about his arm (or maybe now had the words to tell me), and he even said to a physical therapist we went to:

I can't climb a tree.

Oh the tears were flowing that day. For me and him. I've been so busy being positive, so busy with my can do spirit, I forgot that I need to let this boy have a cry. He wants to climb a tree and right now can't. I am now focusing more on talking about his feelings about his arm and involving him in the process of surgeries and decisions. He seems much happier about everything.

At back to school night all the kids had done self portraits of themselves. All of them were adorable. Big giant circles with some hair and crazy looking faces. When I found Landons self portrait I was shocked.

Landon drew himself in the center of a cross full of hearts.

And that is exactly where he is. In God's hands. In God's favor. He is God's child and being healed from the inside out.

This kid is teaching me so much about love, acceptance, and especially about Gods love.

Labor Day Lobsterfest

Deciding on a "stay- cation" ended up being a wise choice (more on that later), and so we had our friends over for LOBSTERFEST!

Yes it was HOT but that didn't stop this from happening:

or this:

and this:

But I of course kept my composure while it was 100 degrees. As did my fabulous friends.

Happy Labor Day!!