F**** Bomb Mom

Last week I had one of the greatest and simultaneously bizarre things happen to me. I attended a girls night dinner at Nobu Malibu which as you can see was fabulous!

The food was amazing, the view spectacular but.....

Maybe you don't know this about me but when I tell a funny story I like to curse for emphasis. I kind of become a Mommy version of Louis CK.

It's a Saturday Night, I'm out with the girls, we're all giggling and telling funny stories when:

This guy comes up to the table:

At first I thought he was a bus boy. Then I realized he was a patron like myself. He asked me to stop cursing because he was having dinner with his two year old near by. At first I said OF COURSE! SORRY! Then I thought about it a second. Hold on. It's 9pm, at a super fancy sushi place in Malibu, the waves are crashing, house music blaring (how the hell can you hear anything) and you are coming up to my table about your two year old? HELLO?  Then I thought about the BALLS it took for him to come over to a table full of gorgeous, laughing, MOTHERS.

He walked back and I could see who he was sitting with. That's right: HER.

You may remember this girl from this:

A very raunchy performance from the grammys. I can see how this sweet Mom was offended by my cursing in front of her daughter can't you??

I mean she's so INNOCENT. The perfect MOM in every way.

Celebrity entitlement is a crazy thing here in LA. More than that though, she should recognize another Mom trying to make it through this crazy life. And that's all I have to #$%%* say about That!!!


eas said...

That's a crazy story! Only in LA do you see a kid out to dinner at 9pm!

Bama Girl in AZ said...

ok,now THIS is funny!

Andy said...

Best story ever. I also love that I dropped everything to rush over here in my busy mommy morning when I saw the title of your post pop up in my reader.

(I really love her. Well her music... I'm not personally acquainted as you now are.)

The first year after I had Boo, we managed one night to get a sitter, and somehow get out for a quick dinner alone together after we put her to bed. Walking through a few shops "later", we were mentioning to each other how appauled we were that people would have their small children out THIS LATE. It was 7:30. We've come a long way.

Danielle (Life with the Hewitt Family) said...

Great story! Hope you enjoyed your Girls Night Out!

linda said...


JR Mazur said...

haha, great story! Glad to hear you're laughing and enjoying life!!

Leslie Swan said...

Wow! A star sighting like Pink is amazing! Although I am upset by her hubby's behavior. I feel like you could have sang a few of her own lyrics from "Get this party started" or just the nah nah nah nah nah nah nah part from "So What" in response to him. I won't even go into my thoughts on a two-year old being at a restaurant at 9pm. Maybe they would have been more tolerant if their daughter was asleep and they were able to enjoy a drink in peace and quiet, too. I never thought Pink would be a hater...I hope you still had a fun night anyway.

Gramspearls said...

WHO doesn't use a few special words for emphasis, especially after a few glasses of wine, in a relaxed setting.

I'm glad you were out and having a great time....you all look like a nice version of the Wives of OC!

Warmly, Kathleen

Anonymous said...

I can cuss like a sailor (I learned it from my mother) but I don't think it's appropriate in public and especially around children.
If I were sitting next to you at Nobu, listening to you swear a mean streak, I would have a problem with it as well...even if my children weren't with me.
And why do you have to tear down another mother? She's a performer. Do you expect her to wear peter pan collars and knee length skirts when she works? Does this mean she has to abdicate the right to look out for her kids?
The hypocrisy of you saying "she should recognize another mom trying to make it through this crazy life" is astounding.

Pink in a sea of blue said...

Maybe she was on NY time or 9:00 might be a "safer" hour for a celebrity to dine? Even so, in my opinion, she should have chosen a more family friendly place at an earlier hour or left the child with the nanny. For some reason this reminded me when I was in Paris years ago at a restaurant around the same hour and a couple across from us had their baby monitor on their table. I could not believe they left their baby alone while they dined across the street. This was pre-video monitors. LOL!