I saw the interview with Tiffany Tehan the runaway mom. At first I thought, what a horrible mother. Ran off with her boyfriend, left her husband and baby behind...awful. Then I started thinking about what would make a mother run away from her family, want to even leave her child behind to start a new life. She must have really been unhappy. There is no prize for motherhood, no one says hey"fantastic job with the laundry today, thank you for not letting me run out of underwear".No one sees the daily work involved, the invisible puppet strings that exist as we run our families lives. I am always one step ahead of everything. As I go to bed I am planning breakfast for the kids and the day ahead, at breakfast I am planning dinner and the weekend. My mind is always planning, plotting and organizing. It's exhausting.
One thing Tiffany said in her interview was that she truly thought no one would miss her. She felt that insignificant. That un-noticed. That un-appreciated.
When I became a mother I joined a magical club of women with a shared experience that is truly unexplainable. We know the heart break, the worry, the undying love we have for our children. We feel we carry our kids hopes and dreams. We want the best for them. When I see a tired mom at the grocery store I always compliment her. "Love that sweater!", "What a cute baby!", "You're doing great mom!"...or make a joke to make them feel better "wish I could take a nap in my grocery cart!". I want to support moms and let them know they are not alone. I am sad this runaway mom felt like she didn't have that.
I have an idea. Today, as you are making your way through the world, and you see a Mom you don't know, give her a knowing smile. Give her a compliment. Tell her you "get it". Let's see if we can start a "Mama movement".
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18 comments:
Thank you so much for this post. I really needed it today! My two year old son has scarlet fever and I have a sore throat and a headache and so on ;) I feel like butt today, but I made breakfast, lunch, laundry, cleaned the master bedroom and now I´m listing stuff on ebay. But I feel like this all is not enough, I feel like a loser because I´m sick, bleeeh. This post makes me feel a lot better. Thank you! Things will get better, I know!
I always stop and tell moms how well behaved their kids are (ya know, if they actually are!)...I think it is so important for moms to hear their efforts are being noticed!
I totally get why a mom could just walk away from her life - when my son was born I had insanely horrible PPD and a hundred times a day thought about just walking out the door and never coming back.
you rock!
I missed this whole story...I feel like I've been in a cave since I'm also at the end of the house renovation. I know at my house, everybody thinks they have a magic underwear drawer and Christmas just "happens". If only.
Great idea! I needed this today!
This is excellent - you need to develop this into an article and submit it to be published - you know - when you have time!!! I am serious - women need to hear this -I started to write "moms" but realized that all women need to hear this.
So true. I hate to type this, because it even when I thought about typing it, it sounded so incredibly neurotic, but here goes... I am pretty sure all moms, and absolutely including myself, have had more than one instance when they thought their children would be better off without them, or that nobody would even care if they weren't around.
Isn't that sad?
That said, ummm, Tiffany was still {also} running off with a dude! And she had been seen on the different surveillance tapes hooked up with him more than once. So I think there were a few other underlying issues that might have caused her to take a furlough.
My kids are grown now. And I always do just what you say, because I remember how hard it was when they were little. I amuse babies at checkstands and compliment them and tell their mothers how cute they are. And I think the time you are right now, one year after the birth of the second is hardest. All the adrenalin has worn off, and the hard work is still there.
It was a sad interview, I saw it too. She said she didn't take her baby with her because she didn't want to cause an Amber Alert!
What a great post. It's so true.
love it! pay it forward mommies!
love it! pay it forward mommies!
One of my favorite things to do is give that secret smile to moms that are nursing in public, patiently waiting for their screaming/kicking toddler to settle down or confidently shopping with their cowboy boot-tutu-swimsuit-clad daughter.
Great idea!
I always smile at all the moms, hold doors for them, brag on their children. I so remember those days. And we can never judge another. Who knows what they wake up to everyday. xoxo
I already do that in the grocery store... especially when I see a mom with whiny kids. I tell her I've been there and that I could be in her place right now too!
The post I am working on is my Tuesday Kitchen Inspiration... my messy kitchen!
Great post Mom!2 thumbs up on this one. Even us all timer Moms with grown ones like a smile from another Mom. Can hardly wait to try this out!
Such a nice post. You're so right that those of us who aren't yet moms tend not to appreciate all the little details you take care of that make our lives easy, convenient, possible, etc.
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