Real Housewives of NY- Money Can't Buy You Class Or Too Much Pinot Grigio Part 1!

The drama level is creeping up, up,up! Leave it to the Real Housewives Of New York to show that even in St. John, things can still get crazy.

Ramona takes most of the housewives on a trip to St. John for a Bachelorette fantasy weekend. Jill and The Countess did not go because they knew it would be the circus of the century. And it was.

The episode starts with Kelly again getting into fights with Bethenny. She says she is sick of her "vile behavior", but the only vile person was Kelly (vile behavior=wearing a bunny suit and showing up late to your own Halloween party). She is still all over Bethenny, calling her a cook not a chef. Let's be honest. This is like calling a landscape designer a gardener. She went to culinary school. It's so obvious that Kelly is jealous and evil. In the middle of picking the fight Kelly starts the crazy train, throwing out the term "satchels of gold". This was her insult to Bethenny. Huh? Yep. The next day Kelly brings out a pad of paper where she says they can write down their complaints. At this point I was hoping Bethenny, who is ever patient at this point, would bitch slap her. I would even like Bethenny's baby to bitch slap her too. This might have stopped the Jerry Springer episode that this became. Read on.

Bethenny, because it's clear she is the only one with style and class, gives all the girls a monogrammed Skinny girl bag with gifts. A little treat she brought for everyone. Kelly's reaction? She cried. At this point we are all tweeting each other UP THE MEDS KELLY. She calls her partner in drama Jill Zarin. Jill of course thinks poor Kelly is being abused.


Kelly takes the girls off the ship to do a photo shoot. She is wearing these Woody Allen glasses and her bathing suit and looks like an idiot. She has Sonja and the ladies crawling in the sand like cougar tigers looking like a bad Whitesnake video.

Bethenny cooks a lovely meal on the patio for the ladies. After all she needs to prove she's a chef right?

Meanwhile back in NYC Jill is plotting to go to St. John, but for now is practicing her skating. She gets yelled at by one of the coaches to get off the ice because she such an amateur. PRICELESS.

Kelly walks into the dinner talking so loudly on her cell phone no one can hear. Ramona (who is quickly becoming the sanest person on the show and that scares me), tries to get her to talk inside. Kelly starts a huge fight about this clearly because she is losing it. This is the beginning of her downward spiral. She keeps saying Bethenny is attacking her when the opposite is clearly true. Kelly says "I try to be so even tempered but when it comes to my kids, I'll claw your eyes out."

The dinner starts at Kelly hates her food, says Bethennys not that good a cook, and all the other girls are just trying to stop her mouth. She is still talking about Bethenny and they can't stop her. When Bethenny comes out and Kelly says she's worried about her being pregnant and doing so much cooking. HUH? Okayyyyyy... The dinner becomes insane with Kelly telling everyone at the table to "zip it".

Poor Bethenny, I wish she could have had a glass of wine through this whole ordeal, but the really great thing is that all the girls saw how crazy Kelly really is. They were literally calling her crazy to her face and she was not denying it. Bethenny tries to get to the bottom of things, telling Kelly (like in A few good men) "she can handle the truth". Kelly says stop acting like Al Sharpton. Um what? IQ=0. Kelly says it's all because Bethenny went after her kids in the press oh and that Bethenny was mean to her friend Gwyneth Paltrow. HAAHAHA!!! Poor Gwyneth! Who would want to admit a friendship with KRAZY KELLY!

At this point Kelly is eating Jelly beans and looks insane. They all realize she is really needing help and try to be sweet to her. Bethenny says she will not attack.

The episode ends with confirmation that Jill is in fact going to show up. Bethenny's reaction is the best. Jill's like "helllooooooooo" and Bethenny rolls her eyes and says it's like a horn honking!