Real Housewives Of New Jersery Reunion- Part 1- Who's The Toughest Housewife?

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey had not been together in a year and boy did they have some pent up Jersey Girl ANGER!

This made me wonder who is the toughest housewife. You know, the one you KNOW could kick your ass, even in an evening gown. Let's proceed.

Theresa could not wait to KILL Danielle. She started with relating her to the sluts on the Jersey shore, and then accused her of having sex with someone she knew for a week while her kids heard. This was at Theresa's shore house apparently. All this happened in the first six seconds!

After that they went into babies godmothers, and then Dina comes up. Hot button issue. Andy Cohen stirs up trouble asking what it was that Caroline accused Danielle of doing to Dina. Turns out Danielle tried to have Dina's daughter taken away from her. Huh? How could that even happen? Can unfit mothers accuse unfit mothers? This sets up a firestorm where everyone is saying Danielle is a liar and that there is evidence. Suddenly Jaqueline (before now know as softy housewife) becomes a true Jersey girl and tells Danielle to "shut your mouth you piece of garbage".  That was pretty tough. She is back in the running!

But, that little moment was nothing compared to Theresa losing it over Danielle saying she didn't really acknowledge her nephew? Theresa jumps up gets in Danielles face, curses and when Andy Cohen tries to pull her off Theresa knocks him OVER! Even when Danielle gets up, and leaves the set Theresa, now being held by Andy (although they needed Jerry Springers body guards at this point!), she still tries to go after her cursing and throwing pillows after Danielle.

This is when the godmother Caroline (I could not love her more, 70% of viewers want her to be their mother! Me included! LOL) Manzo steps in and literally grabs the face of Theresa to calm her down. At this point Theresa has gone into Kelly Bensimon crazy. I mean she's losing it. Andy calls for a commercial break but even when they come back Theresa is still LOSING IT! She literally cannot calm down.

Danielle, now backstage, rightfully tells Andy that if Theresa gets up off the couch again she's leaving. Theresa is like a rabid pitbull, I don't blame Danielle for being wary. Andy, seemingly annoyed, asks her to come back. Theresa adds her two cents saying "you betta get ha back here Andy! Chicken #$% that she is!" Hmmm...maybe Theresa is the toughest. She has the crazy side down too.

Andy tells Theresa she cannot get off the couch. Theresa's like "I'm not gonna hit ha"....I love it.

Meanwhile Danielle is backstage with her "partner", (is this for real or for show? ) and Caroline mentions that she may go after Theresa for attacking Danielle. (JUICY!) Cut to Danielle crying backstage. Then Danielle and her scientology team start chanting : Amazing things, new beginnings." This reminds me of the movie where Eddie Murphy was in a group called "Mind Head (scientology) and their phrase was : Keep it together- K.I.T!! LOL

Caroline, on stage with Jaqueline and Theresa, says to not let their emotions get the best of them, that this is what Danielle wants. "She wanted this moment and you gave it to her". She tells Theresa she has never seen her like this and that she would not be Theresa's friend if she acted like this. Then there's some BS about Danielle introducing Jaqueline to her fertility doctor.

Caroline gets very emotional when Albies learning disability and him not being asked back to school. She says things with a new school don't look positive for him. Sad. Then onto the real information. SHE SHAVES HER FACE, with soap or lotion. I am telling you I may try it.

Then on to Danielle VS Theresa who dresses their kids better. Danielle says she dresses her dogs in leopard. Nuff said!  Caroline says that Danielles kids have not light or innocence in their eyes. Danielle defends herself and her kids. Jaqueline says that Danielle's kids cry every day at school and go to the principals office daily.  If that is true, that's sad. Danielle tells her kids way too much.

Now on to Theresa and her money. Here's when it gets interesting. Andy Cohen quotes the New York Post on how deep in debt she is. She denies being in foreclosure and having that much debt. She says Joe didn't tell her how bad things were. She handled it pretty well. On Joes accident though, I call BS. He drank after the accident? Come on. He had to have drank at dinner and just gotten tired.

Danielle talks about her relationship with Danny. The other housewives accuse Danielle of having an affair and ending Danny's marriage. She talks about being a Born Again Virgin (LOL) and her song with lesbian super star Lauren Michaels. She won't call her relationship with Lauren anything, but she acts like she is "dipping in the lady pool" as Andy says. She also confirmed two sex tapes (GROSS!) One that a third party shot! YUCKO. Again, when they are trying to pin her down to when the tapes happened, she was vague. Theresa mentions that Danielle is not a good example as a Mother and Danielle screams at her. She says stop talking about me. Then Theresa once again goes KKB (this is my new adjective for crazy, the monogram of Kelly Killoren Bensimon), and has the craziest eyes I've ever seen.

This is when I had my answer. Toughest housewife, one I do not want to meet in a dark alley, is the one who uttered: "Bitch I never talk about you, skanky whore! It's for the frickin' TV show". Thank you Theresa for letting us all know. You don't mess with Jersey.

Cannot wait for PART TWO!!!
Did you watch?


Jen said...

Yes, I did. So good! Husband had to walk out of the room, appalled. Love it!

Suburban Princess said...

I think we are seeing Teresa's true colours - like at the charity event she could've just left Danielle alone but she wouldn't...and she could've just kept her mouth shut this week but nope, she had to dig at Danielle right off the bat. I'm not a fan of Danielle but she was just sitting there and hadn't said a word. Teresa looks like the s*it-stirrer now!

I think all of Teresa's problems are catching up with her and she is lashing out.

declanium said...

The Teresa apologists really bug me....the ones who say "oh, that's how Italians are." Um, not really. Teresa is a classless woman with anger problems who is dependent upon taxpayers to subsidize her out of control spending habits.
And Jackie really bugged me too. She's all for protecting "kids" (her obnoxious daughter is NOT a child)...but was it appropriate for her to tell the viewing public that Danielle's daughters cry every day at school?
And then we have Andy Cohen. I used to LOVE Andy Cohen. Now I see that he has taken sides as well - - laughing about Teresa's strength and enabling them all to gang up on Danielle.
I'm not a Danielle fan, but I felt almost sorry for her.

CT Cupcake said...

loved the whole episode, its like a train wreck and you just can't look away. both theresa and danielle have issues. Danielle seemes to live an alternate universe and Theresa has a crazy temper.

Melissa said...

I watched! It was INSANE and I hear part 2 is even better!

Maureen said...

It was like watching a train wreck. I couldn't look away.

Susan said...

I'm so ashamed to say I started watching this goof ball show, but it just sucks you in. I watched the finally too and came to these conclusions. Jackie and Caroline are the most level headed and calm ones (they have their moments, but they are too few), Danielle Ughhhhh, she just disgusts the heck out of me to no end (in the words of Caroline..."When I called you garbage, I meant it") Danielle needs a whole team of doctors to figure out what's going on with her. Theresa...hmmmm....verdict is not in on this one. I love her and I hate her. There is an inbetween with her. She is all about family and I have to respect her big time for that.
Now, how come Kim G wasn't mentioned? I flat out can't stand that two faced scum. I've never seen someone so adept at talking out of both sides of their mouth or faces. She is in the same league as Danielle as far as I'm concerned.
Okay...sorry to ramble on your blog.
I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself....I'm anxious for next season. blog is private, so if you ever want to visit my blog I have to "invite" you. Drop me an email with your email address and I'll add you to my list.

Stereos and Souffles said...

That show was crazy! I can't stand to look at Danielle, she makes my skin crawl!

Preppy 101 said...

I missed it so thank you for this post!! I cannot stand Danielle. I LOVE your new adjective!! I'm using KKB with your permission, of course ;-) xoxo

bevy said...

KKB... That is awesome. I may have to steal it from you - but I WILL give you all the credit, of course!

Preppy Sue said...

Thanks for the great recap! I didn't watch it and now I don't have to! I just feel badly for their children at this point...parents are role models.