Dear Mercury In Retrograde

Dear Mercury In Retrograde,

Maybe you thought I wouldn't notice you were back. Frankly honey, you are hard to miss. Right when something is about to go right, you turn it left. Something that is a sure thing? Falls through. Things get disconnected, confused, broken and ruined. This makes me a tad...angry. I don't need you, coming into my life and making things complicated. I have two kids, a husband, and a writing career so my life is screwy enough. I can see you over there rolling your eyes and your smugness irritates me. Don't make me, as my Father used to say, "knock you into next week".

I tried to forgive you when Landon took the Mr.'s wedding ring and lost it. I tried to look on the bright side when Mr. dropped the juicer on the floor and broke it. I even tried to smile as I have dropped food, plates, tripped, lost everything, been on hold for hours and tried to find vermouth in the grocery store for thirty minutes.

You are not cute doll. Leave us mortals alone. Apparently I am descended from Vikings so I can kick your ass. Even today as the dog almost choked getting caught on a cabinet, and a GIANT black spider came out of my comforter, I knew that you were no match for me. Remember who you're dealing with. ONE FABULOUS MOM!

PS Mercury is in retrograde from 8/20-9/12. So it's almost over darlings. Hang in there.
PPS Anything funky happening to you?


Cindy said...

Funny... maybe that is what has been going on with me?! Thanks for the heads up and fingers crossed until 9/12. xo

Claire said...

Coffee grounds all over the floor when I missed the garbage - late at night - I was so disgusted with the mess I took photos and blogged abt it!

lizziefitz said...

phew! I am ready for the 13th. Big hugs and prayers until then.

Preppy Mama said...

OMG too many weird things have happened and I thought it was just me. Now I have something to pin it on!! Thanks!

Maureen said...

YES! Thank goodness I have an explanation. Maybe I should cancel that MRI that I don't want to have to do. I won't, but at least I have an explanation.

Solar Powered said...

I was thinking things were going eerily smooth at my house, now I will beware.

Karen said...

Glad there has been an explanation, we've had all kinds of things going wrong with our house...which equals lots of money spent.

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