Don't kill the messenger here. I don't want to send women screaming into the streets, but I want to arm you with information.
It has now been proven that if you want to start a family, you need to make it happen early. Studies how show that age 30, 90% of your eggs are gone for good. By age 40, only 3% of your eggs are remaining. Women lose their eggs a lot faster than we thought. This is shocking to many people, because we see celebrities popping kids out over 40 all over the place. DON'T BE FOOLED. The fact is most of them do fertility drugs or treatments to have those kids.
I put off having kids for a little bit and then regretted it after I had fertility issues. I ended up doing fertility drugs, IUI's, and ultimately in vitro to get Landon. I was 36 when I had him so when I was wanting a second two years later I knew it would be tough. Coco was the product of Mojitos and the prayer list at church. I had her at 39. I was lucky to not need any fertility assistance.
I get mad sometimes hearing some women think that they have control over their fertility. "Oh I am going to have my first child at 35." There is no guarantee. I know you have to do things when the time is right, but if you are over 30, you may have trouble.
So what can you do?
If you want to have kids and have not met Mr. Right yet, realize time does matter. Talk to your doctor. You can have your ovaries tested (ultrasound), have blood tests, and get some information about your chances of waiting a little longer. Know that as far as freezing eggs for later use, this is still experimental. They have been freezing fertilized embryo's successfully for years but human eggs are much harder to deal with. Either way, you have to be aware.
I have a few friends who are forty and trying to have kids. They are having such a tough time even with fertility help. It breaks my heart. Wanting a child and not be able to have one is horrible. It feels like it should be our right to have children but really it's a blessing. Don't take it for granted!
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I'm not sure if I agree with those statistics. We seem to get pregnant when we wash our underwear together - the most recent baby at age 43.
I wonder if longterm use of the pill affects fertility.
I agree. I think a lot of people don't realize you are only born with a certain amount of eggs. If you have your period early then you "use up" your eggs earlier. I have a friend who at forty could conceive but had miscarriage after miscarriage, never able to go full term. I have another friend in her early 30's who had 3 children but is now going through menopause after having many female complications. I would say to young women dont; waste your time dating someone who doesn;t want a family. If the person you are dating hasn't proposed after 3 years - move on.
We dealt with infertility for years before doing IVF and having triplets. Our next 2 were miracles! It's never easy to go through.
Not to be flippant about a serious issue, with which, unfortunately (and fortunately in the end), I am WELL acquainted. But the combo of Mojitos and the prayer list at church cracks me up.
So happy you have your two beautiful babies.
Great advice - my husband and I are thinking about trying to have kids (I just turned 27 and he's 30). It would be more ideal when we have more money, travel more, and own a house, but is there ever really a right time?
A lot of women also do not realize the risks to both the mother and baby after age 35. My mom was TERRIFIED to find out she was pregnant with my sister at 38, and it was even scarier given my family's breast cancer risk.
I'm glad you posted this. I actually saw Martha Stewart's daughter on Oprah talking about this a couple of years ago and it definitely got me thinking about not putting off children any longer. I was 31 at the time. Plus I had a good doctor that said if I ever thought I would to not wait past 32 to start trying. Anyway, I'm glad I made the decision when I did.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'm gonna take my 34 year old azz to the fertility clinic now! :) The hubs and I are trying now and it is nerve racking since I know, biologically, that I'm "past my prime".
We met with my gyn and are on all on the same page with a timeline. I pray that it happens naturally (and soon) because I really can't wait to be a mom!
i completely hear you. i have a lot of friends and family that think that it is the easiest thing. after everything we went through to get ellie, it is just so hard!! it is tough, because once you decide you are ready you want it to happen so easily. most people don't understand until they are having problems!
Bleck. You know...and I love that you do-my heart.
We had fertility issues and while it was going on it was awful. Looking back and hearing other stories I realize we were fortunate compared to some- 3 yrs trying & 3 IUI's & one miscarriage later we had our daughter (I was 37). I think some people think they can wait a long time because of all the medical technology available today.
I loved your mojitos and prayer list method. :)
I'm not sure I agree with those stats either. Most of the friends I have with fertility issues are not suffering from lack of eggs, they have PCOS or cervical problems. It does make me wonder though, what is in our environment that is causing an increase in infertility? Both my husband's grandmothers got pregnant at 40 naturally. It wasn't that uncommon in those days. Is it chemicals? The food we eat? Birth control pills?
I'm also surprised there isn't more media coverage of male infertility. I have many friends who were unable to conceive, but it was the man with the problem!
Interesting info. I've heard a lot more issue with males lately as well. I also wonder if it has to do with enviromental issues/foods we consume. I do believe age does matter in fertility and too often we see celebs having children when in fact they did but it was with the help of fertility drs.
Karen
This is something I think about all the time. I'm 27 but want a few more years to establish my career before I have kids. I'm just afraid that I couldn't be the mom I want to be now. But, there is certainly risk involved with that. It's a tough choice and there are so many factors involved. It's scary!
"Coco was the product of Mojitos and the prayer list at church."
You. Are. Hysterical.
Girlfriend, I snorted out loud when I read that, and I have two sleeping babies in the house so I'm trying to be uber-quiet! (If they wake up, it's your fault so I'm coming to find you.)
Seriously, I appreciate the message of this. Girls need to be conscientious of ALL their goals when they start out in life, not just career first, "deal with family" later. Nope, not a good way to go.
Then again, it all comes down to God. I had serious fertility issues at 27, then got pregnant three times (lost the first) in very quick succession between the ages of 32 and 33!!! God's timing was best, of course, but it would have been hard to swallow that if I'd known at 27. Anyway, I think your advice is sound and very necessary.
Kisses!
Hi, very interesting post, greetings from Greece!
Hi there
Great share, thanks for your time
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