Jake & Vienna- Love Means Never Having To Be Friends With Other Women



Yep. He picked her.

After watching last night's finale I have come to a few conclusions.

1. He had no intention of picking Tenley, ever.
There was no chemistry, she was too little girly and innocent. He didn't want sweet, he wanted major sexual attraction.

2. Tenley is adorable but dense. He told her there was no "physical chemistry" but she still continues on! Then after he doesn't pick her she keeps asking why? Then on the "after the rose" show she asks if he's worried about hurting Vienna if he can love her as well. Um, there's a book you need to read. It's called: "He's just Not that into you".

3. Vienna has a lazy, glass eye, or some uneven eyes. I am not sure.

4. No one will be happy for Vienna ever, because she has alienated all the other women on the show and America with her bragging about how all the girls hated her. You need girls to like you Vienna. We're the ones who throw showers, bachlorette parties and celebrate your marriage. Get a clue.

5. Speaking of Bachlorette- Ali is up next. I am so on board.


6. Jeffery Osbourne singing live to Vienna and Jake was embarrassing and weird. Just say no Jeffrey Osbourne!

7. Jason and Molly's wedding will air on March 8th. They are saying it's a fairytale ending. I call it a sloppy seconds ending, where you are chosen last and push to the altar so you can prove you won. Sad.

8. Chris Harrison you are hilarious. Two cheeseballs found love and you really were sweet about it.

9. At least this bachelor proposed and didn't say let's just keep dating.

10. Jake, you are stuck with the swamp thing now. We had no idea your taste was so bad. Don't expect us to root for you on Dancing With The Stars. You are no Melissa Rycroft.

26 comments:

nanny said...

AMEN!!!! Boring show....boring batchelor....she will tire of him in no time at all!!!!! Does ABC really think anyone cares if Jason gets married....NOT!
I do hope Ali finds a great guy!! She is so adorable!

New England Gal said...

Well at the very least I was glad to see her roots done and her eyebrows to match on the "After the Final Rose"!
LOVE Ali, even though she got a little annoying and cocky towards the end. I will be looking forward to the Bachelorette!

Jillian, Inc said...

*ugh*. I had more faith in him that that. Vienna seriously has some issues. I have never seen a more unappealing finalist. I mean physical attraction is one thing but how can he overlook her social ineptitude, her mean girlness....and that eye. ha!

Jillian, Inc said...

*ugh*. I had more faith in him that that. Vienna seriously has some issues. I have never seen a more unappealing finalist. I mean physical attraction is one thing but how can he overlook her social ineptitude, her mean girlness....and that eye. ha!

Melissa said...

Amen! So excited about the Bachelorette! Not so thrilled with Jake being on DWTS. I am appalled that he has such poor taste in women!

Suburban Princess said...

What everyone forgets is that this is a competition! Maybe Vienna has amazing relationships with women she isnt in direct competition with? I dont know why everyone thought she should be friends with the other women.

When JO started singing I seriously wanted to barf - I am so sick of hearing that song!

I am looking forward to seeing what happens with Ali!!!

Polka Dots & Protein Bars said...

Can I just copy and paste this post? It is utterly perfect and oh so true. Love!

Mrs.Preppy said...

The swamp thing... I love that name for her. There is something about the both of them that is perfect for each other... they are both annoying! Ali should be a great bachelorette. SHe was my favorite from the beginning.

You still going private? If so, I would like an invite. mrspreppy at gmail

Lori said...

Love this post! I also did a post on Jake choosing Vienna. UGH!

Henley on the Horn said...

You are too funny. Reality Steve was right once again!

Pink in a sea of blue said...

I agree on all. He's Just Not that Into You cracked me up. My girlfriends and I were gagging (had a finale party)on how perfect Tenley was even while sobbing. :) And we don't think Vienna has any girlfriends. I guess all those sis-in-law's have to throw the showers now! Love Chris Harrison, too. And we all spit our wine out of our mouths when Jeffrey O started singing. PLEASE....

Wila (aka Ali) said...

It's all so true!!! Did anyone else think that Vienna had some plastic surgery done in between the show and the After the Rose Finale?!?! Her nose looked different, I promise!

mrs.mfc said...

Hahhahahahhaha everything you said is 100% how I felt about the whole thing. I'm so over it and glad the season is done!! I can't imagine why they put him on DWTS.

Maureen said...

I haven't watched the Bachelor in quite a few years - too busy watching Real Housewives, I guess - but I did catch the last part of the show last night because my facebook page was on fire with friends commenting. Cracked me up. Thanks for this recap.

I have never watched DWTS, but after seeing the new line-up, I think I am in!

Houses, Couches and Babies said...

Wow! I am glad to hear that you were thinking the same thoughts as me. I was so embarrassed during the Jeffrey Osborne part, too. My husband and I went to bed singing "On the Wings of Love." Another observation I made last night...did you notice that Jake's gripe about Tenley was the same thing that supposedly every woman has griped about him...too perfect or perfect on paper. I guess it's just a strange coincidence.

3 Peanuts said...

Perfect wrap -up!

Britney said...

Ha! You are Hilareous!!!!!! I have been a following your cute blog for awhile now. Thanks for making me laugh, today! Love it!!!

bloggerprotectionprogram said...

On the wings of love....oh my! But you forgot to mention that Kate Gosselin is going to be dancing with the stars. What a banner tv night! I think Ali will be a great bachelorette to watch. My tivo has officially died, though. I just can't bring myself to bury it. I love my tivo too much.

Solar Powered said...

This might be one of your best posts ever! Well said girlfriend! Well said...

Jake is the biggest goober ever. I can just see his icky smile as he accepts all the feedback from the judges - PUKE!

Cas said...

I think you may just share my brain!
xo,Cas

Andie said...

Quote of the year...

Jake: " When Vienna looks at me, I feel like I am the only man in the room."

Dude! It's "THE BACHELOR"!

The 5 Bickies said...

I told my husband I would never watch The Bachelor again if Jake picked Vienna. Do you think that means I can't watch Ali either? I don't know if I can stomach any more!

Great summary!

LET THE GOODE TIMES ROLL!!! said...

you are hilarious!!couldnt agree more! xo kj

Angry Julie Monday said...

I loved your play by play on Twitter.

Seriously, I wanted to smack everyone on there. This is the Jersey Shore Generation of Narcissism.

And really, she can have him. Pilots are bad bad bad with a huge percentage of them being cheaters also.

EntertainingMom said...

OMG ROLFMAO!!!! You are hilarious... even on the wings of love!

As for the wedding... I think there is something there. And they're getting a monogrammed cake. That speaks volumes... in preppyness, at least ;)

JMK said...

OMG...you are dead on and I could not agree more. They are actually perfect for each other and I don't think anyone in America would want to date either of them.