Sorry for my dramatic almost exit, I was having a moment. A what's it all about moment. More on that later.
Facebook has always been nothing but a blast to me, but lately? I am thinking of shutting it down. Thinking about going off the grid (hahaa!). I don't know if facebook is really connecting us. I think it's the opposite! I have friends that look through the pictures of my kids and feel like they have had an update on my life. No more calls, not even texts, just facebook! I find myself not reaching out to call friends. Just blogging, twittering, and facebook? Is this good for me?
Are we substituting facebook (among other things) for real connection?
The intimacy of facebook is scary to me. People can look through all your photos, check your profile, in essence spy on you without you knowing.
Sometimes people put such intimate things on facebook in their status updates. I have been guilty of that before. Suddenly your work friends know your kid peed in the potty! A little weird? Yes.
Then there's also misunderstandings, people taking things the wrong way. You have a moment, say you're tired, and suddenly six friends are asking you if you're okay! Drama.
My neighbors daughter, who is a teenager, (teen-neighbor), says kids are mean on facebook, posting parties some people aren't invited to, leaving anonymous insults...Oh boy.
One time a friend from college I'm'd me on Facebook. She was asking for money. Turns out someone highjacked her account and was chatting with me live from God knows where. So freaky!
I am seriously thinking of taking my account down. What do you think of Facebook? Is it the devil?
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37 comments:
i was definitely in love with it at first, but i think i like blogging so much more. i still have my page, and check on friends. but i rarely update my status. i know what you mean about the whole thing. i have definitely 'hidden' some people, because i can't stand their status updates every 10 minutes. or during the election their updates totally annoyed me. it is interesting!!
i really enjoy FB... I use it less as a tool for "keeping connected" than I do as mindless waste of time to add a little humor into people's lives... sometimes I add blog links... (my own) sometimes I add pictures... often I leave a silly saying or quote...
I think people stay connected with me through my blog or email. The phone calls have diminished greatly over the years. I am OK with that. I was always the kind of person who needed/wanted to get off and never could! Emails are to the point and finite!
If you are not happy with FB then quit. I have many friends who have done so and have lived to tell!
I really don't like FB. I have also thought of shutting my account down. I much prefer blogging (and tweeting)! I have many reasons for my dislike of FB, but I'll save them for another day...
Not in the least interested in FB!
I totally agree with you. I do not even know why half of the ppl I know on FB consider to be a friend if they never call!!! Just an IM or wall post. I guess that is the way things are going now, but wouldn't it be more simple to call me to ask me how I am doing vs send me an email through FB that I probably wont check all week?
I even had FB friends ask if they were getting an invite to my wedding last year. Um....have you even seen me in person? FB does not count. Out of control.
I joined Facebook back in college when you had to have a college e-mail address in order to get an account, so it wasn't nearly as huge as it is now. I do enjoy Facebook to keep in touch with people I don't see on a regular basis, but it does get kind of crazy and stalkerish sometimes. They just changed a bunch of stuff on there, and if you don't go change your privacy settings back anyone, friend or not, can see all your stuff and that freaks me out! All the notifications and status updates are annoying! I've hidden several people who update constantly and I get annoyed when 8 million people comment on a status after me.
It has god and bad points. I will probably keep my account, but I'm not nearly as obsessed as I used to be
I deactivated a couple times but I don't spend a lot of time on it at all. I don't use the chat feature either. I do like it for subscribing to my favorite stores, etc. Sometimes it's a little overwhelming but I only accept friend requests from people I really know and not just casual people off the internet (unless I've known them from my blogs for awhile).
I go back & forth on this - some days I love it and some days I hate it. I find it to be a huge time drain, I can waste an hour without even realizing it on there. I don't know what the answer is but I have contemplated deleting mine too - only to change my mind because what if I miss something? (it sounds silly but it's true!)
Was a fan in the beginning and even friended my children and some of their friends, but I understand where you are coming from. I find myself liking it less and less as the format keeps changing! I feel like I'm spending more time checking how to make sure certain people stay blocked than using it for other purposes. I'm tossing around the idea of qutting too!
PS my children will say "told you so, mom's shouldn't facebook"!
I personally think you should actively try to reach out and contact your friends and family first. Make it a conscious effort. If then it still doesn't work, take it down. It's ultimately up to you.
I don't Facebook. I feel like that would be putting myself way too much out there. What if an employer saw that? Or some crazy? I feel like I can control my privacy more thru my blog. I don't need all that other stuff. I still use the phone, texting and email for people I want to contact!
I'm a safety girl. Facebook has never interested me.
I purposely stay away from FB because of those reasons. Hope you don't go private.
I do use FB but don't update my status very often. My problem is that I'm very careful about the pictures that I put out there but I can't control what others put up.
For example, my wedding pics that my sister and friends took were on FB before I could even say anything. My sis is friends with tons of people including my high school boyfriend. I don't want him to see wedding pics (he was a very innocent minor boyfriend, but still) but I feel like a jerk asking my sis and friends to take my pics down. I like my privacy but not everyone has the same feelings that I do.
It is unreal what some people put on FB. I have a friend who puts her whole life on there and it is sad. In real life I know that her life is not that great but on FB she is a superstar and everyone loves to comment on her status updates (which happen 3 or 4 times a day). Is facebook the devil? Sometimes, yes.
I'm enjoying Twitter better than FB lately and I don't even know most of the people I'm tweeting with. Does that mean I enjoy people I don't know more than the people I do know? Hmmm...that's something to ponder.
I'm torn on the whole facebook thing. I love that I am back in touch with really old friends (that in all likdlihood I wouldn't be talking to on the phone anyway) but I do kind of wish I had been a touch more discerning in the beginning with "who" I was friends with. I like to put up pics, and have fun with the status updates (where I usually attempt to be funny anyway) but I am not sure someone I worked with 15 years ago needs to be privi to such details ;)
As strange as it sounds - facebook has actually brought me a lot closer with some mom friends from school who I had never really gone out with socially before, we now have all thanks to facebook!
There are definitely pros and cons to me. A few tips for you though...
1. turn off chat, no good ever comes from that :)
2. edit your photos for friends only, no friends of friends etc - it will take a little time but well worth it!
3. If someone your not feeling requests your fb friendship - don't accept, don't ignore... leave in limbo
I find Facebook fun to connect with friends that are spread across the country but don't like it for the day to day. I haven't posted much on it because I am at a loss of what to say..."went to the grocery store and making dinner"!
My mother reads Facebook and updates me on what my friends who are now her friends update. Drives me crazy. I think she is now feeling hurt because she learned of her great niece's engagement via FB before receiving a call from the bride to be's mother. TOUCHY!
I go back and forth about FB. My privacy settings are pretty high - but there are people who are my "friends' who I haven't talked to in years and don't have anything in common with anymore! I hate to "unfriend" anyone - that just seems horrible, but it does make me think twice before posting anything. I think I will eventually delete my account, but right now there are a handful of friends I always contact through FB...
I enjoyed facebook at first but am off of it now. I must say I have a lot more free time in my day not reading my friends' political views/gripes and what everyone is making for dinner. I heard on the news that some insurance companies are raising rates if you are on fb...I guess too many people write about being on vacation and the like. Glad everything is ok- was worried about your private post.
I actually love facebook but understand how things can go south really quickly. I am only friends with people I TRULY know and have made my account non-viewable to anyone except my friends. I have heard HORROR stories about kids and FB. Our 14yo daughter wanted to get on facebook and so we set up an account for her. My husband entered his email on the account so he gets all of the alerts. And, I am SHOCKED at how many dads of our 14yo's friends want to be her friend. Wrong. Just wrong. I am glad your blog is public again because I missed your short time window for notifying you when you went private and I was so sad..
I'm in the middle. I love being able to reconnect with people I haven't talked to or seen in a long time, but I also find it weird that people know what I'm up to without actually talking to me. For example, I'll walk into work and one of my coworkers, also a FB friend, will ask me a question and sometimes I'm like, "Wait...how did you know about that???" Because I forgot I put it on FB.
My husbamd thought it was so weird that our dentists wife friended me, and I have a friend request for an ex-BF sitting that I'm ignoring because I have denied him already and he keeps sending them again.
It also freaks me out a little how people don't use the privacy controls.
i hate facebook, i was not on it until recently and i only went on b/c of a nonprofit that i work with has a face and we need to promote things. however I have NO desire to put photos up, i believe that there is no reason anyone should see my photos on line. i really think it is a waste of time, these people playing farmville ?? wtf it just seems crazy and wastful, when i went on there were a few folks who friended me and i was like i dno't even know you why would i friend YOU ??? if someone wants to talk to me, please just email or call me.
I am on facebook but don't log on much and I don't know that I have ever updated my status. I have 'reconnected' with some friends from high school - but once I know what they're up to, they're okay, etc I don't really need to 'chat' w/ them or anything. Since they all live across the country & we've gone 20+ yrs without contact I doubt we'll be vacationing together or anything.
I think it can be the devil. You have to be careful for sure. Just like any other thing it's for some people and not for others. For the most part I don't think it's really communicating but lots of people think it is. I know what you mean, once people see your photos they thing they're all caught up w/ you. And that's hardly the case.
Maybe you just need to take a break before you shut it down totally. Like a Facebook detox!
Yeah, the cyber world can be scary. I hear ya! I just left you a vm-see we're connected cause of it?!?
xoox
SC
I'm torn. I love the fact that you can reconnect with people, however find it creepy at the same time that there are FB stalkers out there. Now, I will admit, I am 100% a FB snob and have many security features activated.
I don't do facebook for all the reasons you mentioned. The people I want to know my business have my number and I keep in touch that way. FB just kind of creeps me out.
oh I did NOT use 'your' instead of 'you're' - must have not been properly caffeinated!
I can't remember if I asked you to add me or not??? Ugh. Please do if you haven't already gone private! :)
By the way, I agree. Facebook is really creating a false sense of friendship!
I'm glad you aren't private anymore :) I do facebook light - posting bascially photos of the baby and generally only comment on other people's photo albums. It's a nice way to see pictures, but my privacy rating is really high, and I only post really innocuous and infrequent status updates.
I enjoy facebook. I use the highest privacy settings. I don't accept anyone as a friend unless I truly want to be friends in the real world. I don't post pictures that I don't want the world to see. I typically don't post pictures of anyone but my own family without permission. I don't list my dob, address, contact etc. People who know me have that info. I do have fun keeping up on what's going on with family and friends. I have a cousin who's in the Marines and he's in Afghanistan. It's wonderful that he can keep in touch with all of us. For me, it's a wonderful and fun tool, but I don't let the riff raff in. I think that's the key. Would I friend my co-workers on fb? Nah.
I pulled my laptop off of the coffee table and the screen is internally smashed - so - I've been without for almost two week (use my sister's when I visit) and it is amazing the amount of time I have! Facebook gets me a little crazy - especially when they seem to change the format all the time!
Wow... I have kind of turned down FB as I now blog more. Once my oldest (11) gets one in the next year or so, maybe I'll get on it more. But there'll probably be something new by then.
YES!
Facebook is the place where people love to be passive/aggressive. There are so many people I want to delete, but they will freak out.
Why can't people be sane lately?
it's crazy--i would like to ditch it too. Too much bragging, too much drama, too much idiocy. But now I am enmeshed. I have some friends who only use facebook to communicate on the message boards and don't do email. it's all so confusing. i'd like to go back to the days of calling on a rotary phone and/or stopping by with a calling card.
it's crazy--i would like to ditch it too. Too much bragging, too much drama, too much idiocy. But now I am enmeshed. I have some friends who only use facebook to communicate on the message boards and don't do email. it's all so confusing. i'd like to go back to the days of calling on a rotary phone and/or stopping by with a calling card.
I'm more or less "over" FB. Oh, it was entertaining at first, interesting even to find old friends from back in the day. I've quickly; however, remembered why I didn't keep up those old friendships. NOTHING in common. I'll probably keep my page open just so I can stalk my kids and their friends.
Facebook is good for locating people you might have lost touch with, and can't seem to find through other means. Although, I do think it can be a tad trivial at times and sometimes it feels like people have hundreds of friends listed who they barely know. I agree it does take away from real conversations and updates.(texting can be even worse because so many people send texts in place of real conversation) Sometimes I miss the days before cell phones and computers.
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