This Was Supposed To Be A RHONY Post...but I'm too upset.


I could be fake and just run my post on the Housewives (will tomorrow cause I do love them), but I am upset.

Yesterday Landon got his cast off. Now to most people this would be a great thing but not for us. His arm is not broken, the cast is only there to protect the surgery and skin grafting they did. Every time we've gone in for a cast change I have been careful to play a movie, hold up a partition, so he could not see his arm (Thank you Katie for the suggestion). I have seen what the skin graft looks like and let me just say, it is not for the faint of heart. It's hard to see my baby like that.

Up until now he has been shielded from it. This past surgery was hard. He knew what was happening, he was scared, but he was brave.

Today though, after the cast came off it was time for him to see his arm. Oh friends, his face (I am crying as I write this), his little face seeing his torn up arm. I continually said "it looks great! Awesome!", but inside I wanted to bawl. He knew it looked bad. He was shocked and scared.

I made the day as good as possible. Brought baby Coco, made jokes, went for lunch after complete with cheesburgers and milkshakes. Thankfully he went down for his nap happy and satisfied with a splint on his arm.

But tonight, (and here is one way we are so alike), as night fell, he started to get more and more scared. He was thinking, pondering his arm as he lay in bed in the dark, and he started to get really freaked out. It was time for reality. Three year old reality. I asked him what he was scared of? Was it his arm? Did it look scary? He nodded.

I explained that it was rough looking now but it will heal and get better over time. I explained it like when he falls and gets a scrape and then it heals. It seemed to make sense. He started to feel better. I told him it would look better.

Times like these I could care less about the Housewives, New York or OC. About the petty fights, misunderstandings, and jealousy's. About financial woes or world events. I just want my son to feel safe and his arm to be healed. This is a long journey and some days I am not up for it.

Thanks for letting me vent.

30 comments:

Seersucker Scrapper said...

I am so sorry that you and Landon are going through something so difficult. At least it is while he is still so young and he won't remember much of it.

You are a great Mom!

lizziefitz said...

It breaks my heart. Landon is such a brave ,gentle boy. I will keep him in my prayers. I will pray that he finds a comforting peace and healing. I pray that the holy spirit will look after him through his fears. I will pray for his mommy and daddy to find strength and comfort too. Hugs.

Happy Daily said...

Oh, OFM, I am so sorry that Landon was upset and scared. It sounds like you did such a great job of making him feel better. Your family is in my prayers.

Queen of Cashmere said...

Being a parent is often tough but we forget sometimes that being 3 can be hard, too. Things are so scary.
Be strong. Be thrilled that we live in the age of modern miracles like skin grafts. I have a 16 year old (now that is truly scary!).
When he was 4 we discoved Conrad had congenital cataracts and needed surgery, patching and developmental therapy or he would be blind for life. The process took years. It was hard for Conrad to understand. Today, he is strong, smart and completely uscarred by the events he went through.
His lens implants often glint in the sun. He told me recently that sometimes it freaks people out -- and he likes that!
Hang tight. Kiss your babies. You will make it across the finish line and the future has wonderful things in store for you and your family.

The 5 Bickies said...

It's so hard when our children are hurting. Landon is so resilient and will soon be comfortable with his new graft. You are such a great Mom and your smiles, encouragement, and milkshakes will help him so much along the way.

Blessings to you!

Pretty Personal Gifts said...

I'm sorry you all have to go through this. Especially your son.

Kids adapt so much more easily than adults do so my hope is that soon it doesn't even bother him.

This might teach him a higher level of compasion and empathy for those who are suffering from similar issues. It might be that this will make him more wonderful than he already is.


Time heals...someday this will all be a distant memory so hang in there. Sound like you are doing everything you can and it's working. Keep a brave face. I know it's hard. I really can't imagine what you and Landon are going through, but my thoughts and prayers are with you.

KatieSPerk said...

You are both so brave! I know it is hard. But think about the future. It will get better!

Bethany said...

Oh I am so sorry for you. The most difficult thing in the world is to see your child in pain or upset. Hugs to you and Landon. xoxo

Sherrie said...

Sorry Landon is upset about his arm. What happened to it? I assumed he had just broken it. Hope you both have a better day today.

Mrs. R said...

I am sorry you have to go through this Mrs. with your son. Just know that the end result will be worth it. He is a trooper and it is all because he knows he is loved and you and the family are right by his side!! I wish Landon a fast recovery!

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry Landon is so upset about his arm. I can't imagine how scary that must be for him, but I think your way of explaining it like a scrape that heals was great. I now it's hard right now, but everything will get much better and in the end, it will all be worth it!

Preppy Mama said...

I don't know what to say. I just can't imagine what this is like for both of you. My heart feels heavy for you today, thank goodness you are a strong mama who is just as brave as your little guy. Sending hugs!!

Travelbug Mom said...

I can't totally feel the way you do...never experienced skin grafts, but when my 17 yr. old was 3 he fell head first from the top bunk - needless to say I HATE BUNK BEDS - he had to get 65 stitches across his head and forehead....to this day I am so grateful he didn't break his neck, but I get a ping of sadness looking at the scar. Hope Landon's arm heals and your heart heals too!

Stereos and Souffles said...

So sorry for Landon! (and you)

CashmereLibrarian said...

It's always so heart-breaking when we see our sweet, innocent children burdened early with such harsh reality. I'm sorry. All we can do is support them with our love, which you have done. Bless you, l'il Landon.

Clare said...

oh he sounds like such a strong little guy!! we all just want our kids to feel safe and happy! you are doing a great job;) thinking of you guys!

mFw said...

Oh poor thing. I had arthroscopic wrist surgery senior year of high school and fainted when they took the bandage off because of the scars. It will heal and he will be fine, he sounds like such a trooper!

LPC said...

Aw. But you sat down, you listened to him, you talked to him, you helped him through it. As moms that's the best we can do. And all of us feel at some point that we just aren't up to the hard stuff. Probably anyone who felt they could handle all of it would be completely deluded.

Preppy 101 said...

Oh honey. There is nothing more excruciating that seeing our children hurt, albeit physically or emotionally. We always want to fix everything for them - at least I do. I am so sorry for you and for Landon during this difficult time. He is so lucky to have you for a mom. Your handling of this was so wonderful. I know you made him feel better about everything. I am sending a big hug to Landon and to you. Sometimes we moms need a shoulder to cry on. xoxo

LPC said...

You sat next to him and talked him through it. What else can we do? Anyone who says they are up to this task, in its entirety, is dissembling.

New England Gal said...

Poor little guy. This breaks my heart thinking of a child being scared and upset by the way they look. I think you did exactly the right things to comfort him and I hope it only gets better with time.

bevy said...

Poor little man... and poor Mama. I know this is so hard for you both, in different ways. As a mom, you just want to fix it, both emotionally and physically, RIGHT NOW! You just keep lovin' on that cute boy...

MOMMY-MOMO said...

ohhhh... poor baby boy!!! He will be ok. time will pass and he will forget.. but man, agreed. this would be hard for a mother to deal with as well. You just want your lil guy to be happy.

BroncoMom said...

With a mom like you standing behind him every step of the way he will soar!!!

nanny said...

Oh poor Landon...I hope his arm looks better to him everyday....
That had to break your heart!
You did a great job of explaining healing.....

Solar Powered said...

You are a really, really good mommy. That landon and coco are some lucky kiddos.

S said...

Sweet Landon - I'll be praying for a very quick recovery!

Belle (from Life of a...) said...

I know it's easy for me to sit on the opposite side of the country and tell you that it will all be OK...but...it WILL all be OK. I think of almost 24 year old Legare and 19 year old Lorelai and remember all of the times my heart just nearly broke because of something they were going through. Landon sure does have every right to be a bit worried but believe you me, he is more resilient that you think. I speak from experience. And I completely agree with Solar Powered...Landon and Coco are two LUCKY kids.

Brie said...

Oh sweet Landon - he is learning some serious life lessons so young but he will grow up to be a wonderful, sweet, understanding, empathetic man b/c he's walking the walk and has a great mom like you!!!

Happy Homemaker said...

You are such a great mom! Sweet Landon is being so brave! Stay strong! We all know that one of the worst feelings is when our child is in pain- emotional or physical. A friend said it best when she described having children as "wearing your heart on the outside."

I bet that years from now Landon will remember what a brave, big boy he was and he'll be so proud of himself. You, too, mom!

PS I know that when Davis had some issues as a baby, Mr. HH told me that boys LOVE "battle scars". Gotta love these little guys!