Do you have a nanny? Of course there are many levels of nannying, I have a nanny 3 days a week, some have one day, some have full time. Some are home with the nanny and the nanny helps, and some leave the nanny in charge.
I have a girlfriend who does the full time nanny and she stays at home. Even though she is there most of the time she has gone through four nannies in a year and a half. One was asking for too much money and being a bully, one she caught abusing her kids when she put a nanny cam in, and one is so lazy she's caught her sleeping on the job. NIGHTMARE.
The nanny thing is a very tough relationship. You want them to do things you way, but they can never really live up to your standards. You want your kids to love them but not so much they reject their mother! You want a nanny to make your life easier, but you feel guilty when you're not there.
My nanny was sick this week and a little last week. I am feeling the effects. I caught myself being very short with Landon and I felt like a monster. It was horrible. The fact is, nanny or not, if you don't take time for yourself and get away for a little while, you will not be a good parent. You will yell and feel put upon. I know not everyone can afford a nanny, but even a friend can give you a break.
My nanny being sick has made me appreciate her even more than I already do. She fits into our little family so well, she loves my son, and we love her. Boy are we lucky. The fact is that Mary Poppins is not going to walk through the door and be your nanny. There is give and take. Trust your instincts to know if the nanny is right for your family. A mother truly knows best.
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6 comments:
I'm a full time nanny that is basically the primary care-taker for the child of a very well to do family. It is one thing to take a break once in a while, it's another to neglect your role as a parent. It was your choice to have the child, it's your job to care for the child. Now if you think hiring someone to care for the child for you is the right thing to do, then so be it. Children will be drawn to the nanny because they are caring for the child as a mother would, nurturing, and always there for them. I admit there are lazy nannies, mean nannies, and abusive nannies...but for the most part nannies are women that truly adore children and want the best for them that their parents can not offer by themselves. As for nannies wanting too much money, you get what you pay for..if you expect to pay $8/hr don't be surprised if your nanny is lazy and/or doesn't know what she is doing. I charge $20+/hr and I am worth every penny. I know what I am doing, I have nannied longer than most parents have been parents, thus giving me more experience, and your child is probably better off in the hands of a good nanny.
I'm past the stage of looking for Mary Poppins, but I wouldn't mind if Alice or Hazel dropped by and decided to stay.
I a full-time nanny right now while I am finishing up with school, and I pretty much do everything for them (pack lunches, get them on the bus for school, do their laundry, etc.) But, I do have to wonder if the parents actually like being around their own children. They don't come home until 6-6:30, and then the kids go down to bed around 8:00 (therefore, they see their kids for a total of 10 hours during the week). Sometimes it makes me frustrated, because they could come home earlier from work, and I think that it is healthy that you need some time away....but not ALL day. I'm venting here (can't you tell). Also, because I am with the children practically the whole day, they have to adhere to my rules (because i don't think they have any) - and my rules consist of no standing on the dinner table, the counters, eating candy all day, etc. - but when their mom and dad come home, they do everything that I don't let them do, and kind of look at me with smirks on their faces. Okay, I am done now.
Having the right nanny is just so great. We had a wonderful one when I was working...just wonderful. Loved her, and then she had to leave us for a full-time job in a field she had been pursuing (with our blessing) with great benefits. Ultimately, once she left we never could find someone to replace her...which is a small part of the reason I stay home now. SO great you have one that works so well for your family and fits in so well. Yay!
Loaded topic. I appreciate the nannys comments. It lets me see the other side.
wow...the comments are supercharged...my youngest is 8 so all 3 children are in school all day...i had help though one day a week...moms do need a break to recharge their batteries. i certainly see both sides:o)
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