My Shoes Are My Life

As a woman you are required to have at least 20 pairs of shoes or they kick you out of the female club. Still, we get attitude when we buy a new pair of shoes. Our male counterparts see endless pairs of shoes and cannot figure out for the life of them why we would need another. Truthfully, and I'll never admit to this in person, it's not about the shoes.

Okay, don't get your Manolos in a bunch. Yes, every woman loves to buy the latest and greatest style, something to make another girls mouth water, but I believe there's a bigger motivation.
Men go through life with a limited amount of roles. Sometimes they are playing Daddy, or husband, or Mr. Fix it. Sometimes they are playing business mogul, or macho athlete. This requires shoes of course. Fancy cross trainers, shiny black dress shoes, or suede loafers. That's it for him. Other than a pair of flip flops so he can play beach bum, that's the extent of his shoe collection.

Women are a totally different story. Think of all the roles we play. Sure there's the obvious, wife (nice Prada loafer anyone?), Mother (me and my Uggs!), and worker bee (heels), but as a woman, there is much much more.

You play psychologist, accountant, chef, chauffeur, sexpot, den mother, coach, gardener, man catcher, man killer, man marrier, socialite, hostess, fashionista, soccer mom, mom with a nanny, dog walker, financial analyst, maid, public servant, lady who lunches, community activist, nurse, church goer, party planner, life guard, teacher, lover, business woman, legal consultant, peace maker, sometime athlete, serious athlete, decorator, scrap booker, activities director, personal assistant....

Need I go on? Doing all these tasks is like living many different lives. You never know what the day will bring. For instance, in one day you may make breakfast (chef), take the kids to school (chauffeur), walk the dog (you get it now), work out, balance the check book, clean the house, have lunch with the ladies, work from home, host a dinner party, put the kids to bed, and have sex with your mate.

You can't expect that the dog walker wear the same shoes to the ladies lunch? Or the chauffeur to wear the same shoes when she hosts the dinner party? Well of course not. We need different shoes to fill all the roles we play. So men out there, instead of looking in a woman's closet and saying how could you possibly need another pair, realize that each shoe represents a job she has to do. Instead you should be asking how does she do it all? Instead of complaining about the money that was spent, maybe this lady needs a vacation! Or at least a pair of "vacation" shoes.

Sometimes we even need to put on a pair of shoes to help us step into a role. A lot of my date nights have been salvaged by putting on my Dolce and Gabana leopard heels. Shoes give you confidence. Hey, if the shoe fits...you can do it!

Shoes give us the strength to move forward. With my son in the NICU, I struggled to show up each day in a cheerful mood. I wanted him to see my smiling face. My black Via Spiga kitten heels made me feel like I could make it through the day. I was dressed and ready to face anything. Those shoes were my ammunition. My insurance that I could still make everything work in my life.

Shoes are the barometer of our lives. How many Oprah show make overs have I seen where when they look in the woman's closet she hasn't bought a new pair of shoes in a decade? If you haven't bought a new pair of shoes in the last six months, you are either depressed, very sick, or in a coma. If all your shoes are old and worn out what does this say about you and how you're feeling? You guessed it, old and worn out.

Shoes tell us what we need. If you have no heels in your closet, you need to glam it up a little more and give yourself a sexy makeover. All heels? Slow down and relax a little! Buy some Bernardos Sandals and take a vacation! All new shoes? You have a spending problem! Reign it in! You can really tell who someone is by looking in their shoe closet. Note to self: sneak off at each dinner party and spy on hosts shoes...

Shoes help you not take life so seriously. If you only have black and brown shoes you need to let loose a little! How about a pair of silver ballet flats? Pink kitten heels? Plum high heels? Don't play it safe! Live!

Think about the times in your life that were the most important. In most cases you can remember the shoes you were wearing. Shoes are a scrapbook of your life. They represent who you are and where you've been. The next time your husband, boyfriend, or best friend says you have too many shoes, you just tell them: "those aren't my shoes, they're my life."