Trusting Your Maternal Instinct

Your comments yesterday were amazing. I needed all your thoughts and prayers and I cannot believe how wonderful you all are.

As hubby and I get closer to having to do in vitro again in hopes for baby number two and Landon creeping towards being two, I am thinking a lot about how Landon came into the world. I think I'm ready to share his story with you guys.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I was feeling decreased movement. He was such an acrobat the whole way through it was a big decline. My girlfriends told me not to worry, he was a big baby and maybe he didn't have room! I still thought something was wrong.

I went to my regular doctors appointment and voiced my concerns. She checked him but he seemed fine. I insisted. Something was wrong. She told me since I was 37 weeks and he was a big baby, she didn't mind me having him (I was not effaced at all, doing a c section would be the only way). She sent me over to the perinatalogist for another check. At that check up Landons heart rate dipped a little but then came back up. The doctor did an amnio. This was my first one because after having so much trouble getting pregnant I was not about to risk anything. This time the doctor insisted. The fluid came out cloudy. He very calmly said. "You know what, let's just have the baby today." I asked if it was an emergency and he said if it was an emergency he'd "have the baby out in 20 minutes!"

I walked over to the hospital starting to have second thoughts about being so adamant about having him. Was I ready for this? I then remembered my Mom had to fly from CT. I asked the nurse checking us in if we could wait until she arrived later in the day? The nurse looked at me dead in the eye and said "that baby will be out in twenty minutes". That's when I knew we were in trouble.

The c- section started with them having trouble with the epidural. Landon's heart rate started dropping. my OB said "baby needs to come out!" I said I didn't care if I was numb take him! Hubby was ushered back into the room. Landon was taken out and no cry. He looked lifeless as a team of doctors went to work on him. Hubby and I stared at each other with tears in our eyes. Then a little peep. Then one kiss and hubby and baby were off to the Nicu. I was left there on the table, being sewn up, with no one telling me what happened.

Later hubby came to recovery where my preacher was sitting with me (my first call). He told me the news. Landon had the cord around his neck and his arm. The arm was purple due to blood clots. Surgery would have to happen right away to save it. In addition he suffered a stroke due to lack of oxygen. We would have to wait and see if there was any brain damage.

Miracles do happen. No brain injury. Many surgeries and skin grafts later our precious boy is doing very well. Physical therapy and occupational therapy was something we jumped in with right away and his arm has improved dramatically. We long for the day when he has full use of his hand, but this is a marathon not a sprint. More surgeries (this August), more therapies.

I will never forget my OB, who is now on a first name basis with us, looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me, you saved his life. I knew something was wrong and insisted. Otherwise he would have been still born.

You'd have to see Landon to believe me but he is the happiest and sweetest boy. Clearly he wanted to live and wanted a right arm, and because of this, he has one. He is my hero.

Trusting my maternal instincts saved Landons life. There was something nagging at me and rather than try to rationalize it I acted. Your instincts are there for a reason. Always trust yours no matter what.