Trusting Your Maternal Instinct


Your comments yesterday were amazing. I needed all your thoughts and prayers and I cannot believe how wonderful you all are.

As hubby and I get closer to having to do in vitro again in hopes for baby number two and Landon creeping towards being two, I am thinking a lot about how Landon came into the world. I think I'm ready to share his story with you guys.

Towards the end of my pregnancy I was feeling decreased movement. He was such an acrobat the whole way through it was a big decline. My girlfriends told me not to worry, he was a big baby and maybe he didn't have room! I still thought something was wrong.

I went to my regular doctors appointment and voiced my concerns. She checked him but he seemed fine. I insisted. Something was wrong. She told me since I was 37 weeks and he was a big baby, she didn't mind me having him (I was not effaced at all, doing a c section would be the only way). She sent me over to the perinatalogist for another check. At that check up Landons heart rate dipped a little but then came back up. The doctor did an amnio. This was my first one because after having so much trouble getting pregnant I was not about to risk anything. This time the doctor insisted. The fluid came out cloudy. He very calmly said. "You know what, let's just have the baby today." I asked if it was an emergency and he said if it was an emergency he'd "have the baby out in 20 minutes!"

I walked over to the hospital starting to have second thoughts about being so adamant about having him. Was I ready for this? I then remembered my Mom had to fly from CT. I asked the nurse checking us in if we could wait until she arrived later in the day? The nurse looked at me dead in the eye and said "that baby will be out in twenty minutes". That's when I knew we were in trouble.

The c- section started with them having trouble with the epidural. Landon's heart rate started dropping. my OB said "baby needs to come out!" I said I didn't care if I was numb take him! Hubby was ushered back into the room. Landon was taken out and no cry. He looked lifeless as a team of doctors went to work on him. Hubby and I stared at each other with tears in our eyes. Then a little peep. Then one kiss and hubby and baby were off to the Nicu. I was left there on the table, being sewn up, with no one telling me what happened.

Later hubby came to recovery where my preacher was sitting with me (my first call). He told me the news. Landon had the cord around his neck and his arm. The arm was purple due to blood clots. Surgery would have to happen right away to save it. In addition he suffered a stroke due to lack of oxygen. We would have to wait and see if there was any brain damage.

Miracles do happen. No brain injury. Many surgeries and skin grafts later our precious boy is doing very well. Physical therapy and occupational therapy was something we jumped in with right away and his arm has improved dramatically. We long for the day when he has full use of his hand, but this is a marathon not a sprint. More surgeries (this August), more therapies.

I will never forget my OB, who is now on a first name basis with us, looked at me with tears in her eyes and told me, you saved his life. I knew something was wrong and insisted. Otherwise he would have been still born.

You'd have to see Landon to believe me but he is the happiest and sweetest boy. Clearly he wanted to live and wanted a right arm, and because of this, he has one. He is my hero.

Trusting my maternal instincts saved Landons life. There was something nagging at me and rather than try to rationalize it I acted. Your instincts are there for a reason. Always trust yours no matter what.

48 comments:

Maddie said...

What an incredibly moving story and what a wonderful gift your son is. He's so very blessed to have a mom like you.

Lauren said...

Oh my goodness. What a powerful reminder to trust your instincts!! I am so thankful that you were adament about knowing something was off. So many times my instinct tells me something is wrong, but I let it go.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us. I hope you have a nice week!

Feener said...

wow...that is an amazing story. god bless you and your family.

Melissa said...

My friend recently gave birth to a stillborn baby, so this story hits a little close to home and I am thrilled that you didn't have the same result as she did.

I'm so glad you followed your instincts and insisted on getting Landon checked out. What a blessing that he has no brain injuries and his arm is getting stronger! He is very luck to have a mom who follows her instincts! I cannot imagine how scary that whole thing must have been for you! Very moving story, thank you for feeling you could share it with everyone!

Somewhere Between Pinot and Pacifiers said...

Wow. What a moving story. You were so brave to insist something was wrong. Sometimes at the doctor I don't feel like I am honest enough. This shows how important that is. I strongly believe in maternal instinct. God gave us that for a reason.

Brie said...

talk about amazing! That is one inspiring story with a truly impt message!

Kate said...

What a moving birth story! It is so true too - you need to listen to those maternal instincts! We have them for a reason! Good luch to all of you - Landon for the use of his arm & you and your husband w/ the in vitro!

Amy said...

Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. We are going to start trying soon and this story was very special to read. Good luck to your family and many blessings!

The Chic Chauffeur said...

When our 3rd child was born, he was not breathing, and needed assistance. My heart stopped until I heard him cry. Poor little guy flunked his first test (apgars) in the first seconds of life. He is doing great now, and I had tears in my eyes reading your beautiful story and happy ending! Go Landon!! Good luck with in vitro!

Tres Poshe Preppy said...

How moving and amazing. I do believe that our instinct is a gift and unfortunately, I've learned that through trial and error. Landon is such a gift and has such a wonderful mommy. You are blessed and I pray that you and hubby are blessed again. However, this time I hope you have a much easier time. Good luck! Like you said, miracles do happen. I do believe.

suburban prep said...

What a blessing your child is.

Mom x 2 said...

I am sitting here sobbing - your story hit close to home for me. You were brave to share that story with us and I'm so glad your little boy is OK, even with remaining health issues. We're told so much to ignore our inner voice - luckily for that baby, you listened to yours. I'll share my birth story with #2 sometime when I feel like dredging it up.

You and your little guy are in my thoughts.

Stylinmama said...

Such an amazing story, you had me in tears. I commend your instincts and you are a wonderful mom.

Belle in Bloom said...

You're amazing. So is Landon. You were already a great Mother even before he entered this world. It is not easy to express to a doctor that you don't agree that everything is fine. The fact that you insisted saved your sweet boy's life. Maternal instinct is a powerful thing! A true gift from God. Good luck with everything! Take a deep breath and enjoy this week with your sweet Landon. ((hug))

Libby said...

Wow. That story should be repeated to every mother who was ever told to "just calm down and stop being so crazy," because it's absolute proof that Mommy's *really* do know what's best.

Thank you for sharing Landon's story and I am so grateful that it has a happy ending.

Beth G. said...

What a touching story. I'm so glad that you did trust your instincts-it's pretty wonderful and amazing that YOU saved his life! I hope you have an easier time conceiving #2 ( I know how tough IVF is)! Also, keep us posted on Landon's August surgery, he'll be in my prayers.

Hillary and Russell Jordan said...

I really appreciate you opening up and sharing this story with strangers. Praise the Lord both you and little Landon are doing so well!

Pink in a sea of blue said...

Thanks for sharing that. I'm sure you look at Landon every day and are so incredibly thankful for life. Good luck with future surgeries and pregnancy. You are truly a fabulous mom!

PW said...

That story gets me every time, and I've heard it a few times since Landon was born. L - you are an amazing Mom, and Landon is the great kid he is because of you (and his Dad too).

Thinking of you - Lots of love.
P

Pink Flamingo said...

WOW...thanks for sharing. You ARE truly one fabulous mom for trusting you instinct. Landon is one lucky little boy to have you for a mom! :) I have tears in my eyes.

Always Organizing said...

This post brought tears to my eyes. What a miracle! And you are so right about trusting your instincts, they will never fail you. Thank you so much for sharing.

Michael, Shelby & Charlotte said...

Wow! What a story thank you for sharing...I will trust my instincts.
Thank you!

magnolia mama said...

Thanks for sharing. It's a nice reminder to listen to our instincts. Landon is lucky to have you as his mommy!

Midwest Prep said...

Your story rought tears to my eyes..If you ever needed proof that you were meant to be a mother- well there it is- to know that your baby needed help is amazing. I am totally inspired by your story.

Karen said...

What an amazing story! Thank you for sharing.

Karen

Mom on the Run said...

We had a similar thing happen with J4, only I was unconscious because they said "we need to get this baby out NOW!" so I really don't know what happened! DOTR couldn't be in the room because I was out (this was 14 years ago). I have to say I didn't feel very good either and really had a feeling something was wrong. The funny thing is that when J4 was 3, we moved down the block from our OB and I swear he still remembers that night, too, because he always brings it up when he sees J4. (and he's 65 now, so he's delivered a LOT of babies!)

You are certainly a fabulous mom and I hope everything gets better soon. In my experience, it seems like when it rains, it pours....but eventually the sun comes out.

SnappyCasualGifts said...

that is terrible and wonderful all at the same time. I thought I had a difficult time at the end, but mine sounds like a cake walk compared to yours. I'm so sorry to hear that he has had to have so many surgeries and will still continue to have them. Please keep us updated on his progress. You are braver than me to think about doing it again. I can't convince myself I want to go through that again.

Charlotte said...

wow. You do have a true blessing from God. I am so sorry you went thru this but so happy all is well. Thank you for sharing your story.

Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

What an incredible story! Thank you for sharing!!

Caffeine Court said...

Thank goodness you insisted! I had a similiar situation with daughter #2. Her heart rate was dropping and I asked to have a c-section asap. Better safe than sorry. They asked if I wanted couseling afterwards since it wasn't "natural." I didn't care whether it was natural or c-section...I just wanted the end result-my beautiful baby.

You are a wonderful mom.

Impoverished Preppy said...

What an amazing story! So glad that you listened to your mommy instincts and that you were blessed with such a great little guy.

Hope that the second time around is smoother for you, but with the same adorable result.

MMM said...

What a wonderful and amazing story. Thank you for sharing.

The Rockin' Wife said...

I am touched by this story. I have tears in my eyes, thinking about how terrible that must have been...but also, because it has such a wonderful outcome. I always say trust your instincts. You proved that here.

kenady said...

Thank you for sharing your story with all of us. It has inspired me to share my story of trusting my motherly instincts, but not just yet... soon though. I am so happy that your boy is doing so well! Someone was looking out for him and you and hubby.

Self Confessed Lamp Tramp said...

My Godness, what a scare but with a happy outcome. It is an amazing story. Take care, wishing you and family a great week. xoxo

Steel Magnolia said...

Thank you for sharing your story....you are AMAZING and so is Landon. I didn't you realize you went through fertility...we did too. After 4 miscarriages, IUI (3rd one worked for our 1st son) and IVF (1st one worked for the twins) we now have our family. You are definitely ONE FABULOUS MOM!!!

ilovepink said...

Oh what a powerful story! Thanks for sharing! I look forward to your updates with #2! I think we are getting closer too. Pregnancy is such a wonderful thing but my goodness, it sure is scary too! We had a very similar thing happen during the birth of our princess. I thank God every day things turned out fine. I know you do the same!

The 5 Bickies said...

Wow - what a moving story! You and Landon have an extra special bond! He is even more amazing than I already thought! Way to go Mommy!

MB said...

I am reading your post and feeling deja vu. Similar circumstances happened to me with my son (my 2nd born). I didnt feel him move as much toward the end of my pregnancy. He was my second so I thought maybe I was just not paying attention as much as with my first pregnancy. I did not have a Csection but he had the similar heart rate issues all during labor. He was not crying when he was born. His birth "scores" were low. He is now 10 years old and has a speech disorder and developmental delay. We will never know what happened, but he is truly a blessing in our life. Thanks for sharing.

lizziefitz said...

This was a hard post for me. I am happy you told your story. You never know whose life you could have saved by sharing. God Bless sweet Landon and his mommy:)

Lori said...

What an amazing story, I'm so glad you shared this~ how powerful our instincts are! How blessed Landon is to have such a strong mommy and how blessed you are to have such a happy and joyful son. :)
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers in the days ahead as you grow your family. :)

melissa said...

Such a beautiful story with a beautiful ending, your sweet son, Landon. Blessings to you!!

Melissa

Preppy Sue said...

Wow, I wish you all lots of health and happiness!

Linney Shvede said...

Wow...thank you for sharing your touching, personal story...what a special boy he is...

Kiki said...

I know that everyone commented and said all the kind, encouraging things I would have said...I'd like to chime in though, albeit a little late...I think that your story is amazing and that you are so much stronger than I could ever hope to be, I admire you and what you did that day. I know God gives all all strength to endure trials, but it seems you have had your share...I'll be praying for your next try and for Landon's upcoming surgeries...only good blessings for you the rest of this year!!!!

Tickled Pink & Green said...

Oh I'm just now reading this post! What an awesome story. This happened to the baby of some family friends and the baby actually died just about a day before it was due. My mom still talks about getting out of the elevator at the hospital to go visit and hearing the wailing coming from this mom's room. It haunts her to this day. God definitely wanted Landon in this world! You must feel how special he is everytime you look at him.

Mrs. R said...

I just read this today(you provided a link in your 9/1 post). I had no idea you went through all of this!! Landon is a miracle and I am so glad you trusted your instincts!!!

Ocean Breezes and Country Sneezes said...

Wow, Landon is a miracle baby! I hope he has a blessed life.