Landon's preschool held a seminar by a marriage and family therapist about Mom's taking care of themselves (huh? what's that?) It is called: "Healthy Mom, Healthy Family". I wasn't sure how it was going to be.
First she handed out a diagram of a Red Wagon. Told us this represents all the stuff we Mom's are pulling around. The four wheels are your mental, emotional, spiritual and physical sexual parts of yourself. Notice if one of these wheels is out of balance, everything can fall out of your wagon.
I started to think of what I was pulling around:
Landon, Coco, Hubby, Dog, 2 cats, health of kids and hubby, cooking, cleaning, banking, bill paying, writing, blogging, safety of kids, sexual relationship with hubby, kids relationship to God, kids education, dreams, goals, money, fashion of kids and hubby, social calendar, morality of kids, yard, home decor, sales of gift company, room mom duties, Prayers for church, friends, career, Landon's arm progress...I COULD GO ON...
Makes me tired just reading it. I swear I don't know what I did with all my extra time before kids, let alone before hubby! (Live it up girls!)
Back to the wagon, we each carry a "Unique and immeasurable load" behind us. We matter, way more than we think. We affect so many people and parts of life.
It's just so tiring. The only way to make it is to take care of yourself. Otherwise how can you pull this around? Exercise, spirituality, meditation, writing, mentoring, communication, we need these to make it through. Many times I have relied on friends, fellow Mothers, and bloggers to help me through. I am so grateful.
So tell me. What about you? What are you pulling? Better yet, how do you keep going?
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12 comments:
1. I wouldn't make it without my girlfriends and family.
2. Quiet time is essential, even if only 5 minutes.
3. Blogs like yours
4. Exercise/Walks
And later today, I'm getting out of the house for a much needed mani/pedi!
wow that's a loaded question--but how great that the preschool did that for the moms!! :)
This is such a great post! I think many times I forget about what I need because I am too busy worrying about others. I need to get my wagon wheels back in balance!
Massages, facials, shopping and wine--there are the 4 bricks that hold up my 4 wheels. I'm pretty sure the kiddies, husband and house are in the wagon and that is why my neck hurts thus the massages! xoxo
I am pulling quite a lot!!!
I make it through with the following:
1) GIRLFRIENDS!
2) Starbucks
3) Reading (good books, blogs)
4) Exercise - when I can squeeze it in - is great
5)Music! So uplifting.
6)Sleep. When diet is bad - at least I have that.
7)A little light TV to decompress with.
8) And finally, rare chunks of alone time, and rare date nights.
As you can see it takes a lot! Girlfriends though are definitely at the top, for a variety of reasons.
Your list wiped me out reading it. You manage a lot. We moms seem to carry quite the load these days.
I keep going with my morning cup of java. Without it I wouldn't function. Exercise helps me too. Our clubs playcenter keeps the boys so active and happy for the hour or so I have to myself that we all win.
oh my gosh, the wagon is so full...always!!! exercising is the way I get through! It is my time, and no one is around to talk to me, i love it!
Glad you got to get out and have someone say that stuff out loud. It's always in the background otherwise. And you do an enormous amount.
I'm pulling around a damned fifteen additional pounds! The rest of the stuff I don't ming lugging at all.
You are definitely in a stage of motherhood that is tremendously exhausting physically. That will get better, I promise, and then you will enter these teenage years of mental exhaustion.
I attempt to maintain my sanity by nurturing a relationship with my husband outside of being parents, getting together with friends, pursuing some hobbies I enjoy (mine are bridge and needlepoint, but I'm betting you could come up with something MUCH more exciting!) and taking some time to myself every now and then.
For what it's worth, I think you do a wonderful job of balancing your role as a mother with your roles as a wife, friend and real person!
kind of makes the phrase "happy wife, happy life" actually make sense!
I truly don't know how all of you moms do it all. My friends with 3 and 4 kids just seem to have it all together... it's so inspiring to me. I think taking time for onself is essential. I think simplifying life to create balance is key. I guess those are easier said than done but, one must try.
I raise my glass to all the moms who are juggling it all! :-)
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