Leaving Perfection Behind and Embracing Your Broken-ness

I used to covet perfection. The perfect outfit, party, relationship all the surface things. It wasn't that I didn't have depth, it was just that I liked things to be just...PERFECT.

As I got older I started realizing this was getting tougher and tougher to accomplish. After a perfect wedding to a perfect husband I went through some very imperfect infertility. It made me question everything in my life. I thought getting pregnant would be a snap. Not so much.

After in vitro and finally getting pregnant I got back to my usually perfect ways with the perfect baby shower. Little did I know what was around the corner. My perfectionism was about to get it's REAL rude awakening. I thought I had it all back together but....

Having Landon changed all of that. When you have a child who is born with an issue of any sort, especially an ongoing one, or one that is life changing, it takes the perfectionism you're suffering from and just throws it up against the wall and smashes it.

Even when Landon came home with a less than perfect right arm I still longed for perfection. I tried to get back on the perfection horse. It was no use.

Over the last few really tough years in finances, marriage, kids and life....I have come to appreciate: BROKEN-NESS.

In people, animals, things...all of it.

There was a Lilly Pulitzer store going out of business, the woman was so upset, beautiful store and she couldn't keep it going...she was selling EVERYTHING. She was humiliated but called me to come in and buy. I looked at a fog necklace and she said oh you don't want that, it only has one foot. It's broken.

Guess what:

I bought it.

Turns out the broken-ness is the good stuff.

Some of my best friends have been broken in many ways, and still are, and it's what makes me LOVE them, relate to them and able to have the best conversations. They don't wear their broken-ness like victims, they choose to share it when they feel it's important. Life is not our perfect Facebook posts, and instagram pictures. Life is really TOUGH. It breaks us. That broken-ness pulls us together and let's us connect. Don't hide that broken-ness. That is what makes you who you are.

Embracing my broken-ness is not easy. It's hard to admit when things are going BAD. GETTING WORSE and seem UNFIXABLE. But if that's where you are. That's where YOU ARE. It's not forever. It will change and evolve. 

Looking down at my frog necklace reminds me were all BROKEN in one way or another. Does this mean I'm going to stop monogramming things? Dressing up? Setting a pretty table? HELL NO. It means that when someone admits their BROKEN-NESS to me I will share my own. And when I feel broken and scared I will share this with my closest friends and get comfort.


Now THAT'S what makes a WARRIOR WOMAN!

Who's On Your Board? Why You Need A Personal Board Of Directors

Do you have a personal board of directors? If not YOU NEED ONE!

Whenever I am at a place of change, renewal or just STUCK IN A RUT, I consult my board. Yes I have my own personal board of directors in my life. I may not meet with them all at once, or take all of their advice, but they are guiding, encouraging and inspiring me. They might not even KNOW they're doing it!

I came up with this idea after sharing my ideas with the WRONG people. When you share your ideas and dreams with a NON BOARD MEMBER, you are left unsupported, discouraged and depressed. The negativity will KILL YOUR CREATIVITY and WRECK YOUR FUTURE. Sound dramatic? It is! THIS IS SERIOUS! THIS IS YOUR LIFE!!!

This is why you need a Personal Board Of Directors.

Here's how it works:

You are going to select 10 people to be on your board. The people do not need to know each other, live near by, or talk to you every day. The key is to get 10 diverse people. 10 people who you admire, look up to, and feel understand you deeply. 10 diverse people from different walks of life. These people may not be your best friends. For example, one lady on my board is MY EYEBROW LADY. She is like a Dali Llama of perfect advice and encouragement. Think outside the box!

Get out a piece of paper and start creating your board list. Remember you don't have to TELL ANYONE who is on your board or if they're on your board. This is a list of people you can SHARE YOUR IDEAS with and get positive feedback. They can help you create and achieve a VISION FOR YOUR LIFE.

Usually family members are NOT board members but there are always exceptions to that rule. My sister in law is on my board and always helps me to see the future more clearly. She knows me and knows what would be good for me.

Once your have your list (you can even start with a board of 3 people until you find your full board), keep it in a special place to refer to. When you are having trouble in your life, or are wanting to make a big change or a wonderful opportunity comes your way you can ask a board members advice and weigh your choices. It's great knowing you are supported no matter what!

The board can change, and grow as you do. You can kick someone off the board if you need to! That's why it's best to NOT TELL THEM THEY'RE ON IT! 

Remember this:

AMAZING people—those worthy of being personal board members—tend to be unusually generous with their time. They give of themselves for the development of others. This level of generosity requires that you be highly selective about when to call on them. For daily or noncritical decisions,  do not contact your board members. Keep the list of your board members easily accessible (on the wall, in a wallet, in your nightstand) and make sure when you call on them you are ready to present something or get big advice. Otherwise you can hold imaginary board meetings, envisioning what each board member might say about a given situation.  

Who's worthy enough to be on your board?