Super Soul Sunday- I'm Not A Stay At Home Mom!!

I love all things Oprah so it's no surprise I am loving Super Soul Sunday on Own. It's deep stuff lemme tell you!

I watched India Irie describe her total spiritual transformation after realizing she was turning into someone she didn't recognize. She walked away from the music industry until she could come back and do it her way. Brave.

Watch a clip here: OPRAH

She also spoke about how, when she put her album out, was receiving criticism for being vane and shallow. That people thought she had lightened her skin (she hadn't). The stunning revelation to her was she always hated people who were vane, shallow, sell outs in the music industry. She had major judgement against them. Then she was being accused of being one of those people! It made her understand how harshly she was judging others.

After walking away from my company and spending more time with my family I find myself nervous when people ask me: "now what?" I feel guilty for enjoying this time not working. Why? Because I have judged Mom's who don't.

Yes. That's not so fabulous is it. I have judged stay at home Mom's sometimes. I was always "busier" and "worked harder" then them, working outside the home and being a Mom. WRONG. Being a full time Mom is HARD WORK. Having the patience to do it takes everything you've got. So like Miss India Irie, I was judging them, and now am one. How's that for Karma?

I even joked with a friend who is working but has the summer off. I said now we're both stay at home Moms! She was pissed! "I'm Not A Stay At Home Mom!" 

Is Stay At Home Mom a bad word?

Why does it get people going?

This is a wild ride, this journey of self discovery I am on. I suspect I will have a million more epiphanies like this.

What do you think? Do you judge stay at home Moms? Working Moms? Has Karma come back on you? Tell me!

And Then I Danced In The Kitchen

I made some big changes recently. Work was becoming too big. It was taking over everything. It was a black cloud. I stopped enjoying my kids, my husband, my life.

My life is good. It would be a shame not to enjoy it....

So I quit. Stopped. And I'm taking a break.

I want more life. More time with my kids. More moments. More peace. More quiet. I want more of that.

The other day Coco asked me to dance in the kitchen. Her favorite Disney song was on Pandora. So I did. And I cried.

I cried because it had been a long time since I danced.

I cried because I hadn't wanted to dance until then.

And I cried because I was so happy to dance in my kitchen with Coco.


I don't know what comes next. Or what will happen. I'm okay with that. All I know is that I stopped everything. And then I danced in my kitchen.

Women and Work Too Many Choices?

I am reading the most amazing book. Let me say, I am re-reading the most amazing book (because really I start books, put them down and get busy and have to RE START!) "Find Your Strongest Life" by Marcus Buckingham. One of the things he keeps asking is if women are happier then they were 20 or 30 years ago. The answer from all his studies is no!

One of the things making us unhappy? Too many choices. We wanted to have it all. The choice to work if we wanted and raise a family. The choice to not work. The choice to work part time or all the time. For some of us the economy made those choices for us, but still we feel torn. Should I work less and spend more time with the kids? Should I work more and try to get a promotion? Should I start the business I have been dreaming of? Should I quit the job I hate and see what's out there? Men make similar choices but they don't agonize over them!

"For all the dilemmas men face-and they have their share- there isn't much of a debate about whether they should work or put their family first. If they take an hour out of the day to meet their child at school, they're applauded. If they take a whole day, they're held up as exemplary models. And if they choose to stay at home, they have magazine articles written about them."

Isn't it annoying? True though. Certainly we don't want to go back to having less choices, but it's how we learn to use the choices that is the key. I'm the person who needed bestie to come with me to Bloomies the other day and find a pair of jeans. I almost had a panic attack seeing how many different kinds of jeans there were. I didn't want that many choices.


Since starting my own business I have made a lot of choices. I chose to start my business. Work more hours. Spend less time with the kids. Hire a nanny. These are choices I agonize over, even though I am still very present in my kids lives. I wonder about these choices and sometimes wake up at 4am thinking about them. 

Of course my husband is sleeping soundly next to me.

Tips For Getting Your Kids Out The Door!

Now that I am working I find the morning routines around here to be a little....CHAOTIC! I think it's true for all Moms. The kids are dragging their feet, you are trying to get them ready and dressed to be on time for school. Did you ever notice the more you hurry them the slower they go?

I found a few tips on getting your kids out the door from Circle of Mom's! 

1. Embrace PM Prep
   Countless Circle of Moms members recommend prepping each evening for the following morning. This entails everything from laying out clothes for your child (and even yourself!) to preparing lunches and breakfast, packing diaper bags and backpacks, and even putting certain things in the car. Maggie V., a mother of three, is one of many moms who use this strategy: "We try to get everything ready the night before: kids' clothes, lunch bags, and everything the kids will need the next day."
   
   
2. Double-check Backpacks
   If you have a child in school, do a thorough backpack check in the evening to avoid missing homework and forgotten permission slips. As Southern Californian mom Jennifer L. advises, "Sign those school papers and de-clutter the backpack, go over anything she may need to bring with her the next day (i.e., special book/toy for sharing, etc.) and have it in the backpack already."
   
   
3. Give Yourself a Head Start
   "I myself get up early," shared Sue C., a mother of two children. "I have to be able to get ready before they get up." Waking up just a half hour before your children can make your own morning prep more efficient and less stressful.
   
   
4. Create a Child-Friendly Checklist
   Angela W. is one of multiple Circle of Moms members who suggests posting a morning checklist: "A list (words or pictures) of all that needs to be done before you leave could be posted in the kids' rooms so they can see what they need to do, instead of you having to repeat it 50 times."
   
   
5. Play Getting-Ready Games
   Making morning tasks into a game can motivate children to get through their tasks more quickly. "I do the counting game once breakfast is over," shares Kristi S., a mother of three children. "She tries to hurry and be ready by the time I get to 50." Lynn R. also uses a racing game: "In the mornings we have "blast off to the front door," where we get ready as fast as we can. First one there gets a rocket sticker...My kids have never gotten ready so fast...I have found that if you can make any routine fun then kids are more likely to do it."

What works for you?

Motherhood and a Job Outside the Home= TWO JOBS

The Mr is a good provider. He works, hard. He leaves the house early and manages to keep us afloat in a shaky economy.  For me, working makes me feel useful and good about myself. The money is important but really it's for my soul. Working outside the home and being a Mom is TOUGH.

Let's face it. Motherhood is a job. A full time, overtime job. You plan their days, their meals, their social lives, their schooling, their wardrobe, their physical bodies...all while nurturing, educating, and trying not to lose your cool. It's like being a personal assistant to the most demanding celebrity that you adore. Not to mention the laundry, endless unloading of the dishwasher, and making sure the house isn't over run by filth and dust bunnies.

Now on top of that job, place another job.

It's two jobs! Makes me a little jealous that Mr comes home and spends time with the kids but has no agenda for them of any kind. Last night he came home and gave Landon a bath and was about to turn a movie on for him at his bed time. He just forgot that we normally put him to bed at 7:30. Must be nice! I am like Captain Von Trapp in this house, running this place like a tight ship and blowing my whistle! (Okay I'm not that bad but still...)

How do you do it all and not go insane? Anyone want to take on the topic?