I watched India Irie describe her total spiritual transformation after realizing she was turning into someone she didn't recognize. She walked away from the music industry until she could come back and do it her way. Brave.
Watch a clip here: OPRAH
She also spoke about how, when she put her album out, was receiving criticism for being vane and shallow. That people thought she had lightened her skin (she hadn't). The stunning revelation to her was she always hated people who were vane, shallow, sell outs in the music industry. She had major judgement against them. Then she was being accused of being one of those people! It made her understand how harshly she was judging others.
After walking away from my company and spending more time with my family I find myself nervous when people ask me: "now what?" I feel guilty for enjoying this time not working. Why? Because I have judged Mom's who don't.
Yes. That's not so fabulous is it. I have judged stay at home Mom's sometimes. I was always "busier" and "worked harder" then them, working outside the home and being a Mom. WRONG. Being a full time Mom is HARD WORK. Having the patience to do it takes everything you've got. So like Miss India Irie, I was judging them, and now am one. How's that for Karma?
I even joked with a friend who is working but has the summer off. I said now we're both stay at home Moms! She was pissed! "I'm Not A Stay At Home Mom!"
Is Stay At Home Mom a bad word?
Why does it get people going?
This is a wild ride, this journey of self discovery I am on. I suspect I will have a million more epiphanies like this.
What do you think? Do you judge stay at home Moms? Working Moms? Has Karma come back on you? Tell me!
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5 comments:
Hmm....I have felt the fierce eyes of being judged because I chose to stay at home. It took a long time before it didn't bother me anymore because it was the choice that was best for my family. It still happens (well, my youngest is now 11 and I think everyone thought I would be back at work by now...nope and don't plan to in anytime in the near future to be sure.) Now, I just laugh it off and let the judgment fall where it may.
I can honestly say, I don't think working outside the home Moms are wrong for their choices...never have. I don't think I could do all they do. It is overwhelming to even contemplate all the balls they manage to juggle!!! I am always impressed at all they manage for their families.
Hopefully, one day we will all have the equality not to judge but just appreciate each other's choices!
It started being a bad word when women decided raising children is not the most important job in the world.
As a stay at home mom, it feels like a bad word to me. The words, "I didn't get a college degree to drive carpool and volunteer with PTA" constantly run through my mind. And yet, that is where I find myself. What I have to constantly remind myself is that I wanted to stay home to raise my kids and I am fortunate enough to be afforded that opportunity. Many moms would like to stay home and aren't as fortunate. But I feel like there is a negative connotation with the term stay at home mom, even when people say things like, "you have the toughest/most important job." I find myself rolling my eyes when people say stuff like that. At the end of the day, it's all about making the best decisions for your family. And people are going to judge no matter what you do.
I don't give this much thought. Although I have been a SAHM for most for my adult life, I have always kept a few fingers in my professional world which has helped me. But also, I don't really care what the rest of the world thinks. I am not here to please them. I have an audience if one--God. I am here to do what He is calling me to do and some years that has not involved working outside the home and some years it has...helping others with their marriages and families. I think you do what YOU are called to do and don't worry about the titles/labels. Raising good kids has been the most meaningful thing I have done in life.
COngrats on your life change!!!!
hugs,
Kim
I worked the first three years of EBS' life and always thought staying home would be like vacation: playdates, lunch picnics in the yard, carpool and lunches with my bffs. Now that I've been staying home for a year I realize it is much harder work for me personally. I cannot get over how HARD and HOW GOOD it is for me. I certainly want to go back to working part time in the near future but I would never judge another Mom for staying home or working.
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