Blogger Husbands!

No, this isn't the Mr. This is the husband of one of my first bloggy friends (who's now become a real life friend!). Happy Homemaker (sorry gals she's private, but if you want an invite email me!), was one of the first blogs I went to and what inspired me to start One Fabulous Mom. I loved to read about her darling children and handsome hubby. Imagine my surprise when she Facebooked me that he was in town and could we meet up!

Down to the Viceroy hotel I went, I brought the Mr too. Not only is Mr. Homemaker handsome and smart, he's funny as the devil. He had me rolling as I sipped Mojitos. The two Mr's had a ton in common including hunting, traveling and man caves. It's just so fun when the blog world and real life collide! I cannot wait to meet Happy Homemaker next! She is too fabulous and gorgeous! Her Mr. calls her "hotness!", and they've been together since they were fifteen! Thanks for a fun evening Mr. Homemaker!!

Louis Van Amstels Dance Blast!

I did something wonderful for myself yesterday and it gave me the boost I needed! I have had Louis Van Amstels Dance Blast Class on my list of things to try for a solid year. I was always too chicken or too full of excuses to go. This week however, after our preacher gave the homework ( yes we get homework at church!), I had to go. Our preacher asked us to do something that we really wanted to do this week, something we have been putting off. Well, the weird thing is on the way to church I was thinking I just had to try his class, but then the homework made it so!

Louis is about as handsome and sweet as you can imagine. His class is cardio ballroom, no partner necessary, and the beginners class (which I took) was a WORKOUT! Louis is a twelve-time dance champion, Emmy-nominated choreographer and best known for being on Dancing With The Stars.

Everyone in the class was so friendly, all ages, all fitness levels. Louis was so welcoming and inspiring. In between routines he was telling us about his partner Margret Cho and how hard it is to overcome negative feelings about yourself. It made me feel like I was on Dancing With The Stars too!

Now I must confess that I took Miss Covingtons Dance Class in second grade so I am a long time Fox Trotter and Lindy-er. I struggled a little but I kept up! And I was sweating!!! Most of all I was having the best time. I literally caught sight of myself in the mirror smiling my head off!

After the class I thanked Louis and he was sweet enough to say I was good! I nearly died. Can you believe this class is seconds from my house? I am so lucky! I cannot recommend this class enough. Have you done anything for yourself lately? Something you really want to do and have been putting it off? DO IT! And report back!!!

Coco Has A Personal Assistant

I can categorize the type of people my kids are, by telling you what job they would have if they were to join the circus. Landon would be in charge of feeding and playing with the elephants. He is sweet, sensitive and occasionally hyper! Coco would be the person that gets shot out of a cannon and lands on her feet and screams yahoooooooo!

Coco is a diva. When she is done with her bottle she throws it down to the ground. If she doesn't like the food you are serving, she pitches it over her shoulder. She screams when she is happy, sad, mad, excited and freaked out. Basically what I am telling you is that I am Coco's personal assistant.

I follow her around trying to get her to eat, doing her laundry, making sure she is clean, and well dressed. In return she screams in my face and throws things at me. I am fine with being her personal assistant but she does not pay well. Plus she's a mean boss. She would be the perfect pop star. You know how all these singers have riders in their contracts saying that there has to be 4 dozen peach roses in their dressing room blah, blah blah...

Here's what Coco's Rider Would Be:

You must have passy on you at all times or I will scream in your face
You must have cheerios on hand at any given moment
You must have bottle at the ready with milk, if it is ever empty I will scream
Bows of every color to match my dresses (Okay fine that ones for me)
I will not eat something I have said I loved the day before
I will choke and puke if you try to force feed me
When you change my diaper I will scratch you like a cat
I will eat from a spoon only if I am distracted with a book or toy
I want to climb things and see if you can catch me before I kill myself

I am in big trouble. I am raising myself. She is me all the way. Worse than that, I love it. She is a terrible flirt and the most fun girl around always. So I guess I will be her personal assistant for a little while. Until I can start time outs!!!

Where Were You On 9/11? I will Never Forget

Where were you on 9/11 nine years ago? I was on the couch watching the news when it was interrupted by the report a plane had hit the one of the twin towers. At first it seemed like an accident. There was so much confusion. Then the second plane hit. Such horrifying sights. Husband and I had been together only a few weeks when this happened and he got on a plane to attend my friends husbands funeral. He was killed that day along with the rest of his colleagues at Cantor Fitzgerald. His wife Michelle was a childhood friend. Here's her tribute to him:

"Pete had such a beautiful spirit. Pete loved life and he was filled with a never-ending enthusiasm that he extended to each and every person that he met. Anyone who met Pete-even just in passing-walked away thinking "what a great guy". He was the most genuine, generous, happy and fun loving person I have ever known and we are better people for having had him in our lives.
There was not a part of Pete's life that he did not enjoy. He loved his job at Cantor Fitzgerald and the excitement and challenges that came with it. He loved our life in Bronxville and the close friends that we have made these past five years. And to Pete's friends from Villanova were the brothers he never had.
As a husband, Pete always made me feel so special. The sparkle in his eye gave me so much happiness and we had such joy in all that we did and all that we shared. When I married Pete he made a good life great and I will miss him unspeakably every day for the rest of my life.
As a Father, I can only say that his spirit goes on in Jack and Griffin. Nothing was more important to Pete than the time he spent with the boys whether it was fishing, bike riding, his recent camping overnight with Jack-or simply walking around with Griffin on his shoulders. He always looked forward to coaching little league, boy scouts, football games and being an influential part of their lives.
If we can remember all of the ways Pete touched our lives, and pass it on to his boys, then his spirit will live on in them. It is so important to me that his children know just how special he was- so please share his life with them...as I will do every day.
And finally, as Pete died on my birthday I feel the need to recognize his life as my biggest gift. He is the finest person I have ever known and as short as my time was with him was, I am forever blessed for having loved him."

Michelle, Wife

  Yes, her husband died on her birthday. She will never forget. I will never forget. Where were you? What is your story?

Fantasia Barrino- Bittersweet

The Mrs. loves an underdog. Especially someone who sings their heart out. Thank God she didn't kill herself so we can all share this voice!

Dear Mercury In Retrograde

Dear Mercury In Retrograde,


Maybe you thought I wouldn't notice you were back. Frankly honey, you are hard to miss. Right when something is about to go right, you turn it left. Something that is a sure thing? Falls through. Things get disconnected, confused, broken and ruined. This makes me a tad...angry. I don't need you, coming into my life and making things complicated. I have two kids, a husband, and a writing career so my life is screwy enough. I can see you over there rolling your eyes and your smugness irritates me. Don't make me, as my Father used to say, "knock you into next week".

I tried to forgive you when Landon took the Mr.'s wedding ring and lost it. I tried to look on the bright side when Mr. dropped the juicer on the floor and broke it. I even tried to smile as I have dropped food, plates, tripped, lost everything, been on hold for hours and tried to find vermouth in the grocery store for thirty minutes.

You are not cute doll. Leave us mortals alone. Apparently I am descended from Vikings so I can kick your ass. Even today as the dog almost choked getting caught on a cabinet, and a GIANT black spider came out of my comforter, I knew that you were no match for me. Remember who you're dealing with. ONE FABULOUS MOM!

PS Mercury is in retrograde from 8/20-9/12. So it's almost over darlings. Hang in there.
PPS Anything funky happening to you?

Real Housewives Of New Jersery- Reunion Part Two-Who's In The Lady Pool Now?

Last week we watched as the drama ramped up to an insane level with Theresa jumping up and practically attacking Danielle. But as Andy said "they were just getting started".

They start with the incident at the Brownstone. Danielle blames Kim G for everything being so ramped up. She said Kim G was feeding her information. RIGHT. They bring up the gay slur stuff and Danielle says she is a gay advocate and she told Danny he should not have said what he said. She said she no longer speaks to Danny because of that. Still she says Kim G ruined that night.  Little does Danielle know Kim G is waiting in the wings!!!

Danielle then says she is being attacked and walks off. She is sick of the married men comments and Theresa's constant imitating. As she leaves she even gets Jacqueline off the couch! To be honest they are attacking her. Not that she doesn't deserve it, but we know Theresa is no saint. There are a lot of untruths there too. Andy even seems annoyed that Theresa cannot calm down and be civil. And Theresa's "I'm not gonna hit ha" is really starting to be insane.

Jacqueline's daughter Ashley comes up. Jaq tries to say that her daughter is nineteen and she can make her own choices, but what about the years before nineteen? There is a reason she turned out this way. This did not happen over night. Jaq says she's been like this since two? I have two words Military School. Jaq does say they took away her car and have never given it back!

As for death threats from Ashley to Danielle, "Bye" is not a death threat. If so, I killed my UPS man yesterday. As for Danielle answering a tweet about wishing Ashley dead? Of course. You know that happened! The excuse that Danielle is a mother and would never say something like that to Ashley is BS. Danielle has done, and continues to do things that are VERY UN-MOTHERISH. Then, the funniest thing ever happens. Danielle brings out a mannequin head with extensions on it to show how hard it is to pull out. At this point Caroline is practically peeing in her pants. Andy pulls and pulls but cannot pull that weave out. It kind of backfired! Seems like it can't be done!

Kim G, who is talked about constantly on the reunion shows, is then brought out and let me tell you NO ONE is happy. She walks out in what can only be called an 80's prom dress with what looks like some newly re-done horse teeth. Kim G is confronted by Caroline and Kim G has a bunch of excuses. Then Kim complains to Caroline about her seating at The Brownstone and when Caroline backs her down she does. This does not go the same for Theresa. When it is brought up that Theresa blogged about Kim G's "old lady butt crack" on the stripper pole. They got into it! Theresa did not back down and Kim G was about to throw down! Kim G has the same potty mouth Theresa does, she was cursing at Danielle all over the place!

Finally they talk about the showdown between Caroline and Danielle. Caroline thought it was ridiculous that Danielle showed up with armed guards when she is 5 foot 1 and she has never threatened Danielle. Caroline wants her to drop the charges and Danielle refuses. She says it was in the states hands which Jacqueline says is BS. The judge said she could drop it, asked her to, and she would not.

Theresa then says "Jacqueline would have never pressed charges if it was your daughter".

This sends Jacqueline into a new mode. She says she is sorry, doesn't like how she is acting. That this all has to stop. Danielle agrees. She apologizes. At this point no one knows what the hell is going on. Danielle even says she "embellished things" because she LOVED Jacqueline. Caroline rolls her eyes. Jaq says "it feels good to release it all, you will hear nothing else from me". Danielle cries crocodile tears. "I'm sorry for everything to do with Ashley, I care about her"...WTF!? Then she says: "you and I know what we were to each other."...ummmm what? Who says that to anyone but a LOVER? At this point I am as confused as Andy Cohen.

Danielle then says she will contact her attorneys and stop the Ashley charges.

Theresa steps in and says all she wants is to focus on her daughters now take Danielle down.

Then out of nowhere Daneile jumps up and HUGS THERESA! HOLY HELL! Caroline almost DIES! Then she goes over to jaq and hugs her too! While they are hugging for what seems like an ETERNITY, Danielle pets her head and whispers in her ear.


"No more, you have my word. I'm moving on and I'm happy. I'm sorry for what I did to you. I love you."

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTT? Now I am convinced that Jaq at some point took a dip in the lady pool. I cannot understand their relationship otherwise! I think Danielle took advantage of her! Then when Jaq wanted out the fight began! That's my theory and I'm stickin' to it.

Then Danielle offers to shake hands with Caroline who reluctantly does.

Now Andy tries to end it there but NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Caroline says it's all BS! "I'm not going to say everything's lollipops and roses, cause it's not".

Danielle then tells her to let Jacqueline be her own person and stop telling her what to do.

At this point Andy cuts it all off and ends it because lord knows after eight hours someone has to! Did you watch

Preschool Lunches! Pack It Up!

This year at preschool, Landon will be staying into the afternoon, and eating lunch at school three days a week. I agonized over this decision. I was not feeling ready to have him be gone that long on any day, let alone three days! After Landon started to give up the nap, I changed my mind. Here I am trying to entertain him while at school they are offering yoga, soccer, literature and more!

I broke the news to him slowly over time, but when he got to pick out his own lunch box he was excited! Landon would eat a bologna and cheese sandwich every day of his life if I let him. I need to have some other preschool lunch ideas. What do you pack for lunches? I am dying to know and how to trick Landon into eating more healthy foods! Any ideas?

And The Winners, Of The Palm Beach Cookie Collections From A Dozen Eggs is:

 And the winners are....by

Random Integer Generator...

Here are your random numbers:

10

Jessi from Halfway House!!! 

You will be receiving the large (24 cookies) Palm Beach cookie collection

And the runner up?

37 

Clemson Girl And The Coach! 

You will be getting the small (12 cookies) Palm Beach cookie collection!

Please email me at onefabulousmom@gmail.com with your address!

Congratulations!!!!

Real Housewives Of New Jersery Reunion- Part 1- Who's The Toughest Housewife?

The Real Housewives Of New Jersey had not been together in a year and boy did they have some pent up Jersey Girl ANGER!

This made me wonder who is the toughest housewife. You know, the one you KNOW could kick your ass, even in an evening gown. Let's proceed.

Theresa could not wait to KILL Danielle. She started with relating her to the sluts on the Jersey shore, and then accused her of having sex with someone she knew for a week while her kids heard. This was at Theresa's shore house apparently. All this happened in the first six seconds!

After that they went into babies godmothers, and then Dina comes up. Hot button issue. Andy Cohen stirs up trouble asking what it was that Caroline accused Danielle of doing to Dina. Turns out Danielle tried to have Dina's daughter taken away from her. Huh? How could that even happen? Can unfit mothers accuse unfit mothers? This sets up a firestorm where everyone is saying Danielle is a liar and that there is evidence. Suddenly Jaqueline (before now know as softy housewife) becomes a true Jersey girl and tells Danielle to "shut your mouth you piece of garbage".  That was pretty tough. She is back in the running!

But, that little moment was nothing compared to Theresa losing it over Danielle saying she didn't really acknowledge her nephew? Theresa jumps up gets in Danielles face, curses and when Andy Cohen tries to pull her off Theresa knocks him OVER! Even when Danielle gets up, and leaves the set Theresa, now being held by Andy (although they needed Jerry Springers body guards at this point!), she still tries to go after her cursing and throwing pillows after Danielle.

This is when the godmother Caroline (I could not love her more, 70% of viewers want her to be their mother! Me included! LOL) Manzo steps in and literally grabs the face of Theresa to calm her down. At this point Theresa has gone into Kelly Bensimon crazy. I mean she's losing it. Andy calls for a commercial break but even when they come back Theresa is still LOSING IT! She literally cannot calm down.

Danielle, now backstage, rightfully tells Andy that if Theresa gets up off the couch again she's leaving. Theresa is like a rabid pitbull, I don't blame Danielle for being wary. Andy, seemingly annoyed, asks her to come back. Theresa adds her two cents saying "you betta get ha back here Andy! Chicken #$% that she is!" Hmmm...maybe Theresa is the toughest. She has the crazy side down too.

Andy tells Theresa she cannot get off the couch. Theresa's like "I'm not gonna hit ha"....I love it.

Meanwhile Danielle is backstage with her "partner", (is this for real or for show? ) and Caroline mentions that she may go after Theresa for attacking Danielle. (JUICY!) Cut to Danielle crying backstage. Then Danielle and her scientology team start chanting : Amazing things, new beginnings." This reminds me of the movie where Eddie Murphy was in a group called "Mind Head (scientology) and their phrase was : Keep it together- K.I.T!! LOL

Caroline, on stage with Jaqueline and Theresa, says to not let their emotions get the best of them, that this is what Danielle wants. "She wanted this moment and you gave it to her". She tells Theresa she has never seen her like this and that she would not be Theresa's friend if she acted like this. Then there's some BS about Danielle introducing Jaqueline to her fertility doctor.

Caroline gets very emotional when Albies learning disability and him not being asked back to school. She says things with a new school don't look positive for him. Sad. Then onto the real information. SHE SHAVES HER FACE, with soap or lotion. I am telling you I may try it.

Then on to Danielle VS Theresa who dresses their kids better. Danielle says she dresses her dogs in leopard. Nuff said!  Caroline says that Danielles kids have not light or innocence in their eyes. Danielle defends herself and her kids. Jaqueline says that Danielle's kids cry every day at school and go to the principals office daily.  If that is true, that's sad. Danielle tells her kids way too much.

Now on to Theresa and her money. Here's when it gets interesting. Andy Cohen quotes the New York Post on how deep in debt she is. She denies being in foreclosure and having that much debt. She says Joe didn't tell her how bad things were. She handled it pretty well. On Joes accident though, I call BS. He drank after the accident? Come on. He had to have drank at dinner and just gotten tired.

Danielle talks about her relationship with Danny. The other housewives accuse Danielle of having an affair and ending Danny's marriage. She talks about being a Born Again Virgin (LOL) and her song with lesbian super star Lauren Michaels. She won't call her relationship with Lauren anything, but she acts like she is "dipping in the lady pool" as Andy says. She also confirmed two sex tapes (GROSS!) One that a third party shot! YUCKO. Again, when they are trying to pin her down to when the tapes happened, she was vague. Theresa mentions that Danielle is not a good example as a Mother and Danielle screams at her. She says stop talking about me. Then Theresa once again goes KKB (this is my new adjective for crazy, the monogram of Kelly Killoren Bensimon), and has the craziest eyes I've ever seen.

This is when I had my answer. Toughest housewife, one I do not want to meet in a dark alley, is the one who uttered: "Bitch I never talk about you, skanky whore! It's for the frickin' TV show". Thank you Theresa for letting us all know. You don't mess with Jersey.

Cannot wait for PART TWO!!!
Did you watch?