Real Houswives of NY- Money Can't Buy You Class- Or Earplugs

Everyone was relieved when Kelly left, everyone was feeling the LOVE. They were getting massages, mani/pedi's relaxing when all of the sudden...


HIIIIIIIIIIII!!!! SURPRIIIIIIIIIISE!

No one wanted Jill or Bobby there. No one could even muster up a polite smile. Jill had no business going. She was invited and said NO. The end! WTF!

Ramona shuts her down! Jill did not know what to do or say. It's then that I realize that Jill's voice is like sand paper on your eyeball. Alex starts bawling. The sight of Jill just wiped her out. Jill gets upset about the rejection but she comes on too strong and does NOT get it!

Ramona really tries to be the peace keeper. She tries to talk to Jill who tries to play the "I spent so much money on a private plane", "I thought we were friends", yada, yada, yada. How Jill thought anyone would want her there is insane. She left saying she wanted to talk to Bethenny? She hated being ambushed and now she does the same thing? PSYCHO.

Then as they try to have a peaceful dinner Ramona chokes and pukes. I swear to god this is the most cursed trip ever. This makes the Titanic voyage look like a pleasure cruise.

Next came a bridal shower for Bethenny and Ramona. Out come the pearl handcuffs. Ramona gets so flustered. Even though the crystal S&M products were fabulous she was embarrassed!

Back in New York, the Kelly, LuAnn and Jill go to lunch. Kelly says everyone was one upping and gossiping. Is she talking about herself? She even said she was trying to talk to Bethenny, but she was attacked. Such a joke. LuAnn, the judge and jury as always, criticizes her for the use of hoe-bag, the cook comment etc. Thank God LuAnn gets that Kelly is white trash. Kelly even brings up her crazy jellybean fetish. They are all confused and know she's insane. Now everyone knows she is cuckoo!! FINALLY!

Sonja, who is a walking Samantha from Sex and The City, has an cocktail party. Bethenny us there, and LuAnn tries to grill her about the trip. It seems like LuAnn might actually believe Bethenny. Either way Bethenny feels so much better that everyone sees Kelly's crazy side!

Later at Jill's "focacta" skating party (boy I am workin' the Yiddish!), Jill dons a 12 year olds skating dress and falls on her ass. I mean this is KARMA. She decides she's going to call Bethenny and go to lunch. Boy is she sorry that she has taken this fight to the level she has. Shows you that you cannot take friendship lightly. Bethenny agrees to lunch. I cannot wait to see how this goes.

Ramona, ever becoming the wisest and most calm presence in the group, calms KKB down, yet again, when she tries to accuse her of betrayal. Kelly really believes that everyone else is crazy and she is the victim. She even tells Jill why her surprise visit was not well received. Ramona says if she had acknowledged all the bad blood and not tried to steamroll everyone, things may have been different. SHE IS RIGHT!  I am looking forward to seeing how Bethenny and Jill do at their lunch but I have no high hopes. On the other hand anything is better than LuAnn's singing!

Real Housewives of NY- Money Can't Buy You Class Or Too Much Pinot Grigio Part 1!

The drama level is creeping up, up,up! Leave it to the Real Housewives Of New York to show that even in St. John, things can still get crazy.

Ramona takes most of the housewives on a trip to St. John for a Bachelorette fantasy weekend. Jill and The Countess did not go because they knew it would be the circus of the century. And it was.

The episode starts with Kelly again getting into fights with Bethenny. She says she is sick of her "vile behavior", but the only vile person was Kelly (vile behavior=wearing a bunny suit and showing up late to your own Halloween party). She is still all over Bethenny, calling her a cook not a chef. Let's be honest. This is like calling a landscape designer a gardener. She went to culinary school. It's so obvious that Kelly is jealous and evil. In the middle of picking the fight Kelly starts the crazy train, throwing out the term "satchels of gold". This was her insult to Bethenny. Huh? Yep. The next day Kelly brings out a pad of paper where she says they can write down their complaints. At this point I was hoping Bethenny, who is ever patient at this point, would bitch slap her. I would even like Bethenny's baby to bitch slap her too. This might have stopped the Jerry Springer episode that this became. Read on.

Bethenny, because it's clear she is the only one with style and class, gives all the girls a monogrammed Skinny girl bag with gifts. A little treat she brought for everyone. Kelly's reaction? She cried. At this point we are all tweeting each other UP THE MEDS KELLY. She calls her partner in drama Jill Zarin. Jill of course thinks poor Kelly is being abused.


Kelly takes the girls off the ship to do a photo shoot. She is wearing these Woody Allen glasses and her bathing suit and looks like an idiot. She has Sonja and the ladies crawling in the sand like cougar tigers looking like a bad Whitesnake video.

Bethenny cooks a lovely meal on the patio for the ladies. After all she needs to prove she's a chef right?

Meanwhile back in NYC Jill is plotting to go to St. John, but for now is practicing her skating. She gets yelled at by one of the coaches to get off the ice because she such an amateur. PRICELESS.

Kelly walks into the dinner talking so loudly on her cell phone no one can hear. Ramona (who is quickly becoming the sanest person on the show and that scares me), tries to get her to talk inside. Kelly starts a huge fight about this clearly because she is losing it. This is the beginning of her downward spiral. She keeps saying Bethenny is attacking her when the opposite is clearly true. Kelly says "I try to be so even tempered but when it comes to my kids, I'll claw your eyes out."

The dinner starts at Kelly hates her food, says Bethennys not that good a cook, and all the other girls are just trying to stop her mouth. She is still talking about Bethenny and they can't stop her. When Bethenny comes out and Kelly says she's worried about her being pregnant and doing so much cooking. HUH? Okayyyyyy... The dinner becomes insane with Kelly telling everyone at the table to "zip it".

Poor Bethenny, I wish she could have had a glass of wine through this whole ordeal, but the really great thing is that all the girls saw how crazy Kelly really is. They were literally calling her crazy to her face and she was not denying it. Bethenny tries to get to the bottom of things, telling Kelly (like in A few good men) "she can handle the truth". Kelly says stop acting like Al Sharpton. Um what? IQ=0. Kelly says it's all because Bethenny went after her kids in the press oh and that Bethenny was mean to her friend Gwyneth Paltrow. HAAHAHA!!! Poor Gwyneth! Who would want to admit a friendship with KRAZY KELLY!

At this point Kelly is eating Jelly beans and looks insane. They all realize she is really needing help and try to be sweet to her. Bethenny says she will not attack.

The episode ends with confirmation that Jill is in fact going to show up. Bethenny's reaction is the best. Jill's like "helllooooooooo" and Bethenny rolls her eyes and says it's like a horn honking!

Socialite Week! Social Climbers Giveaway!

Beth Dunn and I have had a ball painting L.A. pink and green. Next week I will tell you about the real Beth Dunn. You may know her from the blog but I know her from being with her in person!

We lunched at the Ivy yesterday and spotted Harvey Weinstein and a cute boy from Mad Men. Fabulous! We had our grilled vegetable salads and tons of wine. We camped out there from from 12-6!!! So fun.

I will miss Beth dearly. She's a girls girl and does everything with style, class and humor!

As promised Beth and I are giving away a personally signed copy of "Social Climbers", inscribed to you! Just leave a comment and you will be entered to win! Winner will be revealed on Monday!!

Socialite Week! The Ivy

Beth Dunn and I are having a ball as we meet and greet our way through Los Angeles. Here we are brunching together! I want her to have the full west coast experience. We have been to the Beverly Hills Hotel for lunch, The London for drinks by the pool, and now lunch at The Ivy.

The Ivy is not sleek like most places in L.A. This see and be seen place is shabby chic preppy. With it's cobblestone patio (the only place to sit), flower filled vases, and faded chintz pillows, it looks like a Ralph Lauren ad. Well, unless you count the throng of paparazzi that is waiting by the valet. The Ivy is where you go to get photographed. The food is amazing but really this Hollywood institution exists for the best celebrity watching.

Last time I was there we were sitting so close to a certain red headed celebrities boyfriend, that we heard their entire phone conversation. We knew she was coming to say "Hi", but so did the paparazzi. They were ready for her! They practically attacked her and she just acted like it was nothing. Ah L.A. I usually get the grilled vegetable salad which I described to Beth last night. The Ivy is a socialites dream, with it's waiters dressed in white pants and pink shirts serving your every need.

Beth leaves tomorrow and I have to say L.A. will never be the same! Don't miss your chance to win Beth's book Social Climbers tomorrow in my giveaway!

Socialite Week! When Beth met One Fab Mom!

You have no idea how many ways Beth Dunn and I are separated at birth. From our love of a Tervis Tumbler, to our love of wine, we are soul sisters, sisters from another mother, and are in love. No two ways about it.


We met at her fabulous hotel and, as she admired my jewelry, I admired her latest Lilly P purchase. We went to pick up Landon at school, went back to my house to see Coco, and then off to lunch together at the Beverly Hills Hotel.


If you have not lunched there, you have not lived. If you want to feel like a socialite, head on over. We saw my favorite waiter Barrett, who was the server for Coco's tea, but even better we saw:

Demi Moore (skinny!), Jaime Kennedy, Victoria Beckham (no that skinny! Normal!) and Charlize Theron!( beyond gorgeous and so graceful) WHOA! We sipped our wine, discussed our preppy mafia takeover, and dished on everything from husbands to hemlines (Victoria was wearing a tick tac skirt).


Best day ever and I am oh so happy she is here for a few more days. When I got home Landon asked: "where's mommies friend Beth?" Too cute.


Can't wait for more preppy fabulousness! Collars up!

Socialite Week!

Beth Dunn from Social Climbers in currently flying here to Los Angeles! We are so excited to meet and paint this town Pink and Green! In honor of her majesty's arrival, we are deeming it socialite week on the One Fabulous Mom blog (this means you'll have to wait a little for my housewives recap!). On Friday I'll be giving away a signed copy of Beths book, personalized to you!!!


Speaking of the book, have you read it? Part preppy handbook, part Devil Wears Prada, it's a fun summer read! In the book Beth tells us that not all social climbers are bad. She even lists some "cool" social climbers like Grace Kelly, Babe Paley, Jacqueline Onasis, Plum Sykes etc.


I have known some mean social climbers in my life, the type that compliment your shoes, to make fun of them behind your back later. The ones who ask where you are "summering" only so they can tell you all the trips the have planned!


What about you? Have you known any social climbers? Admired one? Been one? Do tell!

When Coco Met Mr. T

As you read yesterday, I have been livin' on the edge. Not one to wallow in depression, I headed to the gym with sweet Miss Coco. As I was checking in, I spied the ultimate star sighting. MR.T!!!! You know! Mr. T!? The A Team? Oh I almost died.


Not wanting to miss the moment I said, so he could hear:


"Coco! This is the best day of your life. Look, it's Mr. T! This is going in your baby book!"

He smiled, tickled Coco and said:


"Awwww. You just made my day. God bless you."


How sweet was that!!!??

Mr. T had me singing a new theme song a more "Walking on Sunshine" moment. I think this meeting has turned things around! That and your prayers! Thank you for your prayers, they are working! I am serious! Mr just got a stay of execution for another month at work, and Landon is much better! Keep those prayers coming!! Love you guys!

Livin' On The Edge!

You remember that Aerosmith song "We're Livin' On The Edge"? That's my theme song right now. Everyone needs a theme song, Ally McBeals therapist said so, so it must be true. Anyhoo, that's where life is for me right now.

"Tell me what you think about our situation.
Complication, aggravation...
Is getting to you"

Um yes. The Mr's job is currently in jeopardy which is keeping me up at night worrying. I find myself trying to take each day as it comes, trying to avoid panic, praying, but at night I start to get....SCARED! Why am I more scared at night?!

In addition to that Landon has developed an infection in his lymph node, is on antibiotics, and it seems to be getting worse right now. Anything with my kids and sickness freaks me out. We have been through so much with Landon, born with a blood clot, 52 days in the hospital, he barely survived. Still I worry to death about anything and everything. He does seem to never have anything run of the mill wrong though, just craziness!

Trying to turn "worry into wonder" as preacher says. Hoping my theme song changes soon. I'd rather be "Walking on Sunshine" for goodness sakes.

But for now, here I am livin' on the edge. Send some prayers my way will you? Are you livin on the edge too? Tell me!

Good News! Social Climbers Beth Dunn is coming to town!

Those of you who follow me on twitter have been seeing that Beth Dunn, author of Social Climbers, and I have been working together on a top secret preppy project. We're dying to tell you about it but we must keep it under wraps for now!


Beth will be coming to LA next week for meetings! Are you dying? I am! We get to meet!!! This is the ultimate blogger meet up because I already adore her. In honor of her stately visit, next week will be socialite week! We will even be giving away a copy of her book Social Climbers (click here for her blog).

I know you will enjoy reading about our antics as we paint the town pink and green!

No TV? WTH!

Turns out there's some wayward satelite that is spinning around out of control and nearly colliding with another satelite that supplies our cable TV! WHAT?! First of all, do we have that many satelites up in the air that they are even that close? What is it a satelite parking lot where they are literally rear ending each other? I digress.

Scientists are trying to figure out how to stop it from happening, but the wayward satelites navigation system is malfunctioning and instead of shutting down automatically it's still transmitting. This is what I call in scientific terms, not cool.

If TV goes away how will I find out what happened to the black bear that was found dumpster diving in New Jersey? Moreover, how will I hear about the Real Housewives of New Jersey? I need to know if Jaquelines crazy daughter is going get herself pregnant, when Theresa is going have her baby and stop being pregnant, and if Danielle will get her daughters taken away for living vicariously through their "Modeling Careers", cause she never should have been pregnant in the first place.

I remember reading Little House On The Prairie, about them, in their wagon, braving the elements, only candle light to guide them. God that stressed me out. The only time I want candle light is out at a fabulous restaurant with the Mr.

So listen hear scientists, you better figure this thing out. This should be your top priority! We cannot live without our TV. We don't want to rough it. Hell, they even have TV on the prairie.

Before I was a Mom

Bestie Katie sent me this. So true.

Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body..
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom .

Mothers Day Fantasy Weekend!

Bestie Natalia and I always talk about our fantasy Mother Days where the kids act perfect, look perfect, the sun is shining, no one throws a tantrum and you have perfect lip gloss that stays on magically throughout the day. This never happens. Something always happens to break the fantasy.

This past weekend however, I reached fantasy Mothers Day status. We drove to Laguna Beach and after a peaceful lunch together where everyone fawned over my well behaved kids, we made our way down to the beach.

The weather was perfect, the kids played in the sand and giggled and laughed. At one point, as I watched the Mr. and Landon making a sandcastle, I looked down at my darling baby Coco, content in my arms, with her sandy feet crossed. It was heaven I tell you. My little family all together, everyone healthy and happy. Isn't that what we all want for Mothers Day?

The next morning, as if the weekend wasn't fantastic enough, the kids slept in as I was served breakfast in bed. I sat there enjoying my Banana Bread that neighbor Sheila had dropped off and watched Betty White on SNL. I was thrilled.

I hope you all had a wonderful Mothers Day. Did it live up to your fantasy expectations? I know it's a rare and precious thing when it does!!

Tory Burch Mothers Day Interview!

I could not be more thrilled or excited to interview Tory Burch. I love her clothes but did you know that she named her famous Reva shoes after her Mom? (pictured with Tory) Or that she has two adorable boys? Or that Tory has a kids line!!?? So may questions to ask! And she was gracious enough to take time to answer!



OFM: How do you continue to follow your passions and dreams while being a Mom?   
 
TB: So many working mothers have had to find that right balance. It’s hard, but we all figure out what is best for our families and for ourselves. My boys and my stepdaughters keep me grounded and put things in perspective for me whenever I get stressed out because of work.

OFM: How has motherhood changed you?

TB: It changes everything about your life.  I am as happy as my kids are happy—if they’re doing well and happy, that’s what matters most to me. Professionally, it’s so much easier for me to prioritize now and to see what’s really important and what can wait until tomorrow—or next week.

OFM: What is the best Mom advice you've ever gotten?

TB: My mother always told me to believe in myself. She’s also an eternal optimist, and said that no matter how bad today might be, there is a new day a few hours away.

OFM: What are your top five Mommy must haves?

TB: Patience, a sense of humor, consistency, follow-through and endless amounts of love.

OFM: Finish this sentence: "Being......makes me One Fabulous Mom.

TB: Being Sawyer, Nick, Henry, Pookie, Izzie and Louisa’s mom makes me One Fabulous Mom.

OFM: Tell us about your foundation?

TB: I have been so fortunate myself, and I have always wanted to give back. The Tory Burch Foundation, with our partners Accion USA, gives women entrepreneurs—so many who are mothers—the financial support they need to achieve their dreams through microfinance. We’re already hearing success stories. We have worked with some amazing women who are changing their lives, their family’s and their local communities.
http://toryburchfoundation.org/

OFM: Where do you get design influences?

TB: My greatest influences are my parents. I am constantly inspired by photos of them traveling in the Sixties. My design team and I are always pulling ideas from our travels, music and art exhibits. 

OFM:  How has your mom influenced you?

TB: My mother has always been my closest friend and confidant. She taught me to always be open to new people, places and ideas—something I try to pass on to my children. Style-wise, my mother has always been one of the most effortlessly chic, confident women I know. 

Thank you Tory! Happy Mother's Day!

You can read Tory's interview with her Mom, as well as get style, entertaining, and menu tips at her new redesigned blog! Click here!

You can also view Tory's childrens line that is just adorable!!!!

 

 


  I would DIE to see Coco in a pink and green tunic!!!

Tunics, Tory and a Permanent Vacation

People wonder about my love for Lilly Pulitzer and Tory Burch. This is no accident. I like designers who make me feel like life is a constant vacation. Warm weather, fabulous cocktails and the perfect tunic. I can remember as a child, I watched Carol Burnett and would here about this place California. I knew I just had to live there. Who wouldn't want to live in a place with palm trees and Carol Burnett!

My love of vacations also came from watching The Love Boat. Each week another port of call, sailing out to see with Isaac making a cocktail and Barbie Benton as a show girl. Good times.


Later in high school I would wait until my parents were out and turn the heat up in the house to 77 degrees (lucky 7). I would put on my bikini and lather on the Coppertone. I couldn't help myself. I wanted to be in a Sunkist commercial, water skiing my days away!

Then in college in Florida, I became spoiled going to classes in flip flops and handing in papers stained with sun tan lotion. We would lay out between classes in the Theta house courtyard and listen  to "Kokomo" (Bermuda, Bahama, Come on pretty Mama...). So you see I am supposed to be wearing bright colors, tunics and my Bonanos.

This weekend is Mothers Day and in honor of that I am posting an interview with Mrs. Tory Burch. I am so proud and honored and cannot wait to share it with you! I will be posting it on Mothers Day as the start to Mothers Day week!

The Hills Are Alive- Literally

Last week one of my fab friends had her fortieth at an incredible hotel in LA called The London. Gorgeous! The rooftop party was beautiful but the wind had us running for cover! We moved down to the bar.

Since we don't like to waste a good babysitter, we went to another bar with bestie and hubbys new best friend he adores. They were thick as thieves all night and DRINKING. I had to drive! At this bar (god knows the name because when it's this trendy they will not even post one), I literally felt like I walked in to an episode of The Hills.


Picture me (all forty and fab) walking in to this den of twenty year olds, who were dancing on tables, chairs, booths, all oversexed and crazy. I wanted to leave, but instead I decided to study the place. Just like on the hills, groups of friends were piled into booths with full bottles of vodka, gin, etc there to make their drinks. They were laughing, dancing, kissing and fighting.

All the girls were in skinny jeans, and sexy tops. All the guys were in jeans and PLAID SHIRTS? Okay....oh and baseball hats. Isn't that stupid trucker trend over yet? For goodness sakes! 

I looked over at one booth and saw divorced famous father of two acting like he was a rapper (that's a little clue, he was just quoted as saying he loves to rap), and I swear he is about my age. He looked like this was a normal night out for him (SAD) and was having a blast.

At one point the entire bar erupted in a cheer as some random awful song came on they all knew the words to. They all sang (shouted), the song in each others faces.

It was an eye opener. I at least know now that the Hills, though fake and staged, is based in REALITY as I watched an episode live and in person! What do you think of the Hills generation? Or are you in it? Tell me what it's about!!

Runaway Mom- Tiffany Tehan or You?

I saw the interview with Tiffany Tehan the runaway mom. At first I thought, what a horrible mother. Ran off with her boyfriend, left her husband and baby behind...awful. Then I started thinking about what would make a mother run away from her family, want to even leave her child behind to start a new life. She must have really been unhappy. There is no prize for motherhood, no one says hey"fantastic job with the laundry today, thank you for not letting me run out of underwear".

No one sees the daily work involved, the invisible puppet strings that exist as we run  our families lives. I am always one step ahead of everything. As I go to bed I am planning breakfast for the kids and the day ahead, at breakfast I am planning dinner and the weekend. My mind is always planning, plotting and organizing. It's exhausting.

One thing Tiffany said in her interview was that she truly thought no one would miss her. She felt that insignificant. That un-noticed. That un-appreciated.

When I became a mother I joined a magical club of women with a shared experience that is truly unexplainable. We know the heart break, the worry, the undying love we have for our children. We feel we carry our kids hopes and dreams. We want the best for them. When I see a tired mom at the grocery store I always compliment her. "Love that sweater!", "What a cute baby!", "You're doing great mom!"...or make a joke to make them feel better "wish I could take a nap in my grocery cart!". I want to support moms and let them know they are not alone. I am sad this runaway mom felt like she didn't have that.

I have an idea. Today, as you are making your way through the world, and you see a Mom you don't know, give her a knowing smile. Give her a compliment. Tell her you "get it". Let's see if we can start a "Mama movement".