Are we spoiled? Do we not know how to handle the hard parts of motherhood? Is this normal mom stuff?
All of this has made me ask myself: "What kind of mother are you!?" Where is my patience? Where are my creative mother juices? I do not know.
More and more I am realizing I am a little resentful. I want to work outside the home (cause God knows Motherhood is WORK). I am happier when I get to do a little work outside and a lot of mothering inside. What about you? Do you work outside the home too? Are you a stay at home mom? How do you stay sane? I will keep you posted on my job progress!
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17 comments:
It's a tough balance...work outside vs inside. I wish I was home more but don't want to give up outside work totally. Tough, tough balance.
aaahhhh....St. Maarten. Maybe we beached together and didn't even know it. That is where we used to spend every spring break!
Whew what an interesting question. . . I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my girls until they went to school. That's when I returned to work. Although I love my job, there are times when I feel guilty and wish that I had the time to be the PTA-mom. I'm also SO EXHAUSTED at the end of the day, that it's very difficult to manage both worlds. I wish I could go to the gym while my girls were in school and do all of the errands during the day so that I could truly be with them after school, instead of working and having to run errands, etc.
As a wise person once said to me:
"The days are long, but the years go by quickly!" Keep this in mind when
you are having one of your bad days. Also keep a list of all the goals you have for your children. For me, it was teaching them to read. I had them reading by 3. They didn't want to watch tv when they had a big pile of books to go through. Right now they want to be with you. Soon enough they will be in middle school - and you know what that means!
I am a teacher and I feel I have one of the best jobs if you are a working mom. Things get crazy busy during the school year, but I do have all holidays and vacations off with my boys.
I also get to be a SAHM all summer. I love both roles, but could definitely see myself as a full time SAHM, but mind you my youngest is now four and being a SAHM once you are past the baby/toddler years is a piece of cake IMO. It is hard though when you have babies/toddlers at home and can drive you to the brink some days.
Motherhood has never come naturally to me - I adore my son but the thought of spending every waking moment focused on him is enough to bring on a big bout of depression. I need to be around adults and have a social life etc...I do sometimes do some work like for friends who own a flower shop or party planning etc. I am always more in love with my son when I have been away for the afternoon.
Right now he is at nursery school and I am getting to recharge my santity after 3 weeks of full time mommyhood!
I was also fortunate to be able to stay home when I needed to with my two but it didn't last long. I started to feel professionally irrelevant (if that makes sense) and started to worry that when I really wanted to go back to work that I wouldn't be able to find a job. So I made a list of what I wanted... I wanted to work for a solid company, full-time, still in my profession (marketing communications), FROM HOME OFFICE, and I didn't want to manage anyone. Because I didn't HAVE to go back right then and there I was able to be picky. I only applied for positions that fit all of the criteria. I was back to work sooner than I hoped but I haven't looked back. Are there days that I feel like I'm going to go crazy? Yes. Are there days I wish I could just quit? Yes. But in the end I know I am lucky to have the job I have and I don't have to commute in to the city. I work 40+ hours but I'm at the house when my kids get off the bus and if they are sick I get to take care of them and not take a day off. When it snowed this winter and the kids had like 12 days off from school I didn't have to take time off because my office is steps away from my bedroom. I really do have the best of both worlds. So make a list of what your dream job looks like, take your time until you find it, and don't settle if you don't have to! Just my two cents!
For me, part-time work was the perfect balance. I miss those days! I am now full-time, but am a teacher at my daughter's school, so I get to see her. Since I teach kindergarten and have just one (kindergarten-aged) child, work is much harder in my profession than being home (I've done both).
It's difficult both ways. While you are feeling frustrated with yourself being home with the kids on those long days, I am feeling disappointed with myself for always having to rush. My daughter currently isn't in any after school activities because our schedules seem too crazy right now, and I am envious of my friends who are able to sit and work with their kids on homework for an hour each day and go to the library in the afternoon.
Tough each way! I really feel like I am using all of myself with working and mothering, but I'd just like to work a little less. One day off a week would be nice!!!!
What perfect timing for this post! Last week, I started perusing Monster.com. This job search coincided with LIttle Kid's spring break...HOW INTERESTING! And big kid's spring break is next week so I may be searching again.
Part of me wants to work outside of the home and have a place to go every day but the other part wants to be home. If I could find a 9-2 four day a week job, I'd be all over it! Keep dreaming, PaperCourt!
In the meantime, the stationery business keeps me busy and my creative juices flowing.
Like I tweeted, I teach, so I feel I have the best of both worlds. AND... I teach at my boys' elementary school. Even better! I get all the same vacations, etc.
In a perfect world, I would teach part-time. I was able to do that when they were little. That was THE BEST!
Pretty sure this is the eternal struggle with being a mom. When I am at home full-time, I long to work. At work, I miss my kids. My solution is to do both but I am ALWAYS tired and behind at both places! Trying to take it one day at a time and remember that they are not little for very long. It's hard but I don't want to miss it.
I was a teacher so I had the best of both worlds. I always had wonderful bosses who would let me leave for programs, etc. at my children's schools. My children attended the high school where I taught so that was good! I actually taught them! But what I noticed about vaca time is that it takes the children a while to adjust to being home with just mom. Sometimes they miss their friends but don't realize it really cause they are too young to process it. After a couple of weeks they settle in and everything is great! It gets easier! You are a wonderful mom! xoxo
I am a stay at home and am fearfully looking ahead to next year when all of my children will be in school full time - yikes! I wonder whether I will just enjoy the time and play lots of tennis or whether I will be job hunting. Fortunately, it's my choice and my husband is supportive either way. While working seems appealing in so many ways ($, adult interaction, sense of accomplishment) I want to be able to enjoy school breaks and summer vacations which would be difficult with a full time job.
Good luck with your decisions...it's not easy but you certainly know what is important to you and what will work with your family.
I work part-time at home and have since my daugther was 18mos. I think it's the best of both worlds. She's in 2nd grade now and I recently decided to pursue more work (you know, because I needed more to do!)- freelance bookkeeping. I have found a great place that's really flexible and the pay is great but I find myself wondering exactly what I was thinking! I am sure it will all smooth out as I get into it more and figure out just the right balance.
One thing I know for sure with my family - everyone is happier when mom is home. Things run smoother, meals are more 'real' (ie. no frozen stuff or take out), the house is clean, clothes are clean, there is less rush.
So for now I have enough work - I had this grandiose idea that I would start this little freelance empire but it's just not possible at this time in my life.
If you keep looking you will find something that works for your and your family.
One other thing - I always thought that when my daughter was in school all day I would have sooo much more time but it just hasn't worked out that way for me. She is in activities she wasn't in as a toddler, there's homework (too much), sports, school functions. Oh, and everything needs to revolve around the school's schedule (that has taken some adjustment on my part).
oh, one more thing - I love having my daughter home. I love summer vacation and spring break. Sure, I lose my temper sometimes but I think it is part of being a mom. I think to think they are teaching us as much as we are teaching them. :)
I love the question, and Catherine hit it on the head with her quote. I just hope that all the money we are saving for university funds do not go towards therapy sessions....The best we can do is try, love and remember to laugh. I am in the middle of half term right now and heaven knows I need to laugh a bit more, my days are sooooooo long right now.
I always wanted to be a stay at home mom so I try not to complain about the mundane things like doing the laundry, emptying the dishwasher, dealing with the little guy calling me a "turd". I know this time won't last forever and before I know it (just one more year) all three will be gone from 8:30 in the morning until 4:00in the afternoon at school. We all lose our patience and have hard days. Just wait until summer. You will really appreciate those office store commercials where the mom is skipping and doing a jig when school is ready to start again!Love your Easter pics, btw.
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