Nadia Suleman- Octomom? Or just tired mom?

I watched Nadia Suleman on Oprah the other day and I was struck by a few things. In the past I, like everyone else, have had the opinion that she is selfish, immature and crazy. After all, any single parent with six children who wants more kids in not only insane, but has a death wish.

Well, Nadia not only admits that she made selfish and immature choices regarding placing all those embryos inside of her, but she says she niaevely thought she could handle it. Now she knows how stupid that was.

The cameras followed Nadia while she literally went from on chaotic moment to the next. She cannot come up for air for even a second. Even with three day nannies (no help at night YIKES), she can barely hold it together. She now knows, what every mother knows, that having kids is no joke. Whether it's one kid or twenty-one (What are the Duggars up to now? 20?), having kids is more emotional and physical work than you could ever bargain for. Between medical issues, education, meal prep, chauffeuring, and keeping them physically fit, you can barely remember to put on mascara and let me tell you, Nadia is not wearing any.

Nadia is in sweats, hair wet, constantly feeding, playing, soothing, bathing, reading, and changing her kids. She said she feels like a "carnival attraction".  She gets between two and four hours of sleep a night. Wouldn't that make you a little crazy?

She admits that she is teetering on the edge of losing her home, that she walks the fine line of selling her "Octomom" image and wanted to have privacy. She did a star magazine cover for $100,000 so she could pay for her kids.

One of the most interesting insights- that she was obviously lacking something inside, trying to fill a void with all these kids. Looking outside of herself, making poor choices that were childish in order to fulfill her needs for acceptance. Don't we all do that? With food, drink, shopping, our husbands and boyfriends, our kids? Everyone has a little of this going on, obviously she is an extreme.

I felt a little sorry for her, talking about how she has to live with her choices. Also about how she feels guilty that she can't hold them all, give them enough attention and love. These kids may look back and think she was insane to do this, but they cannot say she's a bad mother. She is really trying to do right by them.

I'm gonna give "Octomom" a little break. I'm going to call her Nadia. I'm going to think of her as a mother in the trenches like the rest of us, not a carnival attraction. I pray she makes it and that the kids thrive!

22 comments:

Mom on the Run said...

I'm still on the fence about her. I do have to say, though, the more I watch the Duggars, the more I like them. And believe me, I was the queen of mocking the Duggars, so my mind can be changed about Octomom....I mean Nadia. Only time will tell.

nanny said...

I missed that show.....
I wish the best for those children!

Life is what you make it said...

I wanted to see that episode! I kind of wondered about the magazine shoots where she is shown looking glamourous pushing the kids in the stroller, or the whole Halloween costume thing. I thought, how does she have the time for all that stuff? I read Kate Gosselin's book and know she didn't even leave the house for like almost a year when her sextuplets were born. I remember reading stories about Nadya getting mani pedis and starbucks in the beginning. Maybe she had more help then? (Maybe that was when they were still in the hospital?) Anyway, I'm glad she has come to her senses, and I wish her good luck!

PaperCourt said...

Great post. The reason I'm not having a third is b/c I'm not sure I can handle the chaos that one more child would bring. It's definitely a lot of work!

Pink in a sea of blue said...

Duggars= control ; Nadia= chaos. I still can't believe she didn't foresee what her future would be like with that many kids! I do feel sorry for her because she has to be going crazy. I hope she finds peace and order soon.

Anonymous said...

You might have something there except for the fact that she was at Disneyland with VIP passes and ONE kid (leaving the other 13 in the care of the nannies, as usual when not being taped by a film crew) the very day after her "poor me" episode aired on Oprah.

Molly Lou Gifts said...

I agree with everything you said and did open my opinion to her when I saw her on Oprah, however, there is still something about her that isn't right.

She continues to make poor choices about a lot of things. I also think that as overwhelming as it is, you invite the media in, even if it is to support your family. You enjoy many benefits that it provides you and I feel like she still tries to play the "I didn't know" card when it comes to the media. I also found it to be funny when she said that she had heard of Angelina Jolie, but had never seen a picture of her or knew who she was. RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT! :)

Becky said...

Thank you for this post. I've been very, very critical of her, but if she's beginning to be honest with herself and everyone else about her situation, then I'm on-board with giving her grace. You know, she deserved it all along anyway!
I'm with you, I feel sorry for her and all those kids. Not only is she a walking example of why you don't have more kids than you can handle, you also don't have kids without a spouse. It's not fair to them or to you to go it alone (unless you HAVE to, and she didn't!).

debra said...

I deliberately deleted that Oprah because I didn't want to see her. Thanks for the update though. I have always thought she is a little 'off' but everyone has feelings, and it's nice to see she is human like all of us and realizes her mistakes. That's half the battle.

Southern Cupcake said...

I second everything PaperCourt said. For me, I believe that for most parents in this day and age, the "idea" and "idealization" of having the third (or fourth/fifth) child is better than what the "reality" would be and the total resources we have to give the other children (time, attention, activities, good education/college, one-on-one bonding, etc.) becomes more limited with each additional child. There is no right or wrong answer to the number of kids a person/couple should have, but I think it is important to look at the big picture and the long term effects to the choice(s) as well.

Solar Powered said...

You know what Mrs? You are right. She made bad choices, she makes bad choices...but don't we all. I'll throw her a bone with you. Great post!

Trish said...

What a great post! I didn't see the Oprah episode but enjoyed reading this through your eyes. I really am glad she admitted that she made some naive choices, we all do at one time or another in our lives. I just hope the children don't suffer from those poor decisions, that's all. Laughing at MLG's comment above RE: Angelina! HAH! RIGHT!! :)

Clare said...

i was so interested to see her on Oprah. i was actually thinking about her when i was up with ellie last night. i cannot imagine having twins let alone eight. it is crazy to think about! it seemed like she was being honest about her childish wants/needs. i just couldn't believe the chaos that was her daily life. i would literally be insane!! i do feel for her now more than i did before.

bevy said...

Food for thought... Yes, we all make mistakes. And I do feel sorry she had such an emptiness that needed to be filled. However, I feel for those children who will bear the brunt of her choices and "emptiness".

Isn't she in LA? Maybe you could invite her to your church! That would help with that emptiness! ;)

sevenalstons said...

I saw that Oprah episode and have to say that I really feel for her. It's easy to mock but harder to imagine what it must be like for Nadia with all that responsibility. I pray that those precious children are okay in the end.

Sherrie said...

I feel bad for her kids. God bless them!

Suburban Princess said...

I felt bad for her too - I totally get her decision to have the embryos implanted...if given the choice between doing that or having them all destroyed...that's a tough one!

Legallyblondemel said...

What a wonderful call for compassion.

Admittedly, I (and it looks like many others) struggle with that, and specifically here with Nadia. Nevertheless, my view is that we're called to try and see things from the other perspective; thank you for this reminder. While I can't fathom making the choices Nadia has made, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to sympathize; we've all made decisions with unexpected (even if they should have been forseeable) consequences we have to live with.

Libbie said...

I love THIS post! I feel bad for her too....like you said...she is searching. And I really can't imagine her life. You put it beautifully!

Anonymous said...

I guess a woman on workers compensation for nearly ten years with a BAD back while at the same time she has SIX IVF pregnancies ending in octuplets is no big deal. Not fraud or anything. The files are public record

**Her OWN doctor is in trouble and going to court for implanting too many embryos at one time (Nadya admits to ELEVEN) and HIS records claim she always used FRESH eggs...the rest are supposedly on ice. She did NOT save any embryos from destruction.

**CPS has monitored her house even before the tups. There is a crazy 911 call among other things.

**Her last house, belonging to her mother and foreclosed, was left trashed and filthy. Seen on video.

**Three of the older kids were disabled, one with autism, yet she deliberately went on to try and have a high order multiples birth with a HIGH risk of disabled babies for what looks like fame and fortune and it failed. Check out videos, interviews, etc. There is plenty of information to arrive at this conclusion.

****To me and many others, a good part of that Oprah video was faked/exaggerated. She went to Disneyland with one kid a couple of times in the next week and she went to NYC without the kids a couple of weeks later. SOMEBODY (not her) does the lion's share of the child care.

****Ladies, I respect your opinions, but I see her as cut from the same cloth as the Balloon Boy Parents.

----Peanut S.

Anonymous said...

Nadia knows EXACTLY what she's doing. The only problem se has is keeping her stories straight. She's admitted to making mistakes??? These comments are to get peope sorry for her so in the future he can do her "begging". Don't forget the scams she already has put over.

Missy said...

Imagine if all ELEVEN of the embryos she had implanted took!! Just say you feel guilty afterwards and hope the public forgives you? Kate G. didn't leave the house for a year after the babies were born and Nadya only stays at home for a camera crew or photo op. THAT is no mother.