Do You Do Playdates?

Sometimes I am surprised to learn, that everyone is not raising their kids exactly like me. I just assume we are all doing the same stuff, in different ways. That was until I was at a birthday dinner the other night. The subject of playdates arose. I was telling everyone about Landon's playdates, when we do them, how we do them after school....when one of the mothers said:
"Playdates? We never do those."

HUH?

I have to admit I was pretty shocked. Then I started thinking, she works full time, and her kids play with each other (which is what she told me), and another women piped in she doesn't do them either. "Who has the time to organize and set that up!"

I do.

Playdates can be a HUGE pain sometimes, but I feel like they are really necessary. Socializing your kid, having them learn to get along with another person, is really important. Also, kids develop relationships at first through their parents. They can't arrange their own playdates at 4! They need us to give them a little social life. Landon usually has playdates 2-3 times a week with boys and girls from class. Helps also when I get to be with a Mom I like too! The times I am working, I get the nanny to do activities with them but am usually near by. They have a ball for the most part.

What do you think? Do you do playdates? Think they are important? Love them? Hate them? Don't get me started on sports (Landon's too young), but I had a parent tell me he ignored his kid's begging to be on a team and hoped she would stop asking so they didn't have to have weekends full of games!

15 comments:

LWH said...

Nope. They're not necessary, children raised in healthy families don't need "socializing." They learn how to interact with others through how their family interacts, by playing with siblings or friends at preschool or in the church nursery. I have 3 children and have never found it necessary (or at all enjoyable) to manufacture opportunities for them to learn how to be friends. It happens naturally in every day life, whether it's at home watching us, or at the children's museum with other visitors, etc. The world provides ample opportunity without over-scheduling them and forcing friendships, which is what a lot of moms on the playdate circuit around here seem to do based on what I've seen.

Kayris said...

I don't have time to arrange two or three playdates a week. Both kids attended preschool and both kids play with other children when the opportunity arises but that's about all. Both kids are happy and outgoing and socially well adjusted.

The older one is in school all day (finishing K) and also plays sports. I swap childcare with a friend so I can work an extra morning a week, so the girls spend 8 hours together per week, not counting school. I think that's adequate. There is such a thing as too much togetherness too.

Kayris said...

I don't have time to arrange 2-3 playdates a week and I don't have a nanny to do it either. Both kids went to preschool and both kids play with other children when the opportunity arises.

If we're home with nothing to do and it's raining, we might call a friend and see if they want to come over. But nothing regularly scheduled. Both kids are happy and healthy and outgoing and well adjusted.

The older one is in school all day, and also plays sports. Sometimes he can't wait to get home so he can be alone.

Andy said...

Not a real lover of play dates either. We do a lot together, and sometimes include carefully chosen friends in our outings or fun times.

The Niemeyer Nest said...

I love them and need them to stay sane!

Jennifer said...

I Do!! I love them! We have about 2-3 a week. One of them is always at my house. My son is 29 months, and loves when his friends come over to play. He gets so excited. I find it beneficial for us. I get to talk and hang with the moms and our little ones run around playing. My house is a disaster after but I don't mind. I clean it up and do it all over again. We've both made great friendships too!

LPC said...

I did them a lot. Helped me, helped them. My kids are 21 and almost 24. :).

Jillian, Inc said...

I work all day and my son is in preschool all day (daycare when he was younger) and so when I get home I honestly in no mood for dealing with anyone kids except my own. That said, on the weekends I do love to socialize with other moms who have kids my son's age and either meet at the park, and my house or theirs, at a restaurant, at the movies, etc. Our neighborhood is also a bit like Mayberry in that families are outside a lot and just mingle and socialize and the kids play, go to each other's houses, etc. I'm looking forward to summer for the large playdate known as the neighborhood pool.

Jen said...

I enjoy having play-dates for my daughter, but not everyone does. To each her own! : )

bevy said...

We had play group once a week at someone's house or at the park until my older was about 5 (younger was 3). To be honest, those times were more for me than for them. I loved socializing with the other moms.

Both my boys were in church preschools from age two, so they got lots of socializing - and with the people/kids I wanted them to socialize with anyway...

bevy said...

As for the sports issue, I admit I am in the complaining mode now (see my latest post!). However, I think team sports are VERY important. On the other hand, I only allow one sport per season per son. Too much structured and scheduled time!!!

Anonymous said...

We did them when I stayed at home, but now they tend to be weekend only events... frankly most women who work full time do not have the time to schedule multiple playdates. I can't help but wonder if you were trying to write a divisive post to pick up more comments... remember that not everyone has your resources.

Cookie Crums said...

My oldest is not quite 4. He goes to preschool 3 days a wk for 3 hrs. I think that's plenty of "play time". When he's older and asks to have friends over, he'll be welcome to. For me, 2-3 times a week seems like a lot.....but each family is different. I firmly believe in the saying "to each his own." When I'm home, I want to just be with my boys. We're also blessed to live in a subdivision where neighbors hang outside a lot. We have impromptu "play dates"

As for sports, I can't wait til next Spring when my son can play baseball. BUT that's b/c he loves the sport already! We play in the backyard every afternoon. I will have a rule of only one activity at a time though!!

Kate said...

ABsolutely! I was in a playgroup when my kids were toddlers and we continue to have dates with friends. So important! I also thinking starting sports young is just as important. IT develops discipline and focus. My son started playing lacrosse and was on a swim team when he was 4 and he is going strong!

Kate said...

yep! I was in a playgroup when my kids were toddlers and continue to make time for my kids to have friends over. I also think sports help there--organized sports and teams, that is. My son has been playing lacrosse since he was 4 and he is best buds with those boys. He also started swimming on a swim team at that age. It helps with discipline and focus.