It's The Little Things- Ask Someone

I love my local grocery store. Not only is it where I have my best celebrity sightings, but I love the people who work there. My grocery bagger Sal, is my man. I swear I would pay for his college (anonymously of course) if I could. We have deep talks about how he is, how he struggles to stay on course. He's big and tatooed and is like Ferdinand the Bull. Sweet as pie.

Another person I love there is a man I will just call "W". His name is too original to mention. W is the manager. He's funny and always up. W will ask about Landon and Coco, how I am, what my weekend plans are. He is just fun to be with. I look for him in the store every time.

Last week when I was checking out with W, something was different. He looked depressed. He couldn't muster up a smile. He looked like he might cry.

It threw me off.

In all the years I have been coming to the store I had never seen him like this. It scared me. I didn't know what to say. I went into my normal jokey thing I do, tried to make him laugh. I kept it light.

Later that night some words my preacher said earlier in the week rang in my ear.

"People feel invisible. The inoculation to loneliness is asking someone if they're all right."

Why didn't I ask him if he was all right?! See if he needed anything? Give him my attention. My eyes.

This past Sunday at church a friend was sitting across the room. I looked over at her to give her a smile but she didn't see me. She looked really down. Just sad. This time I was not going to shy away. Later after church, I went right up to her. I gave her a hug and whispered:

"Are you okay? You look sad today."

She fell apart in my arms. I mean just sobbed. I felt awful for her. I knew something was wrong! The truth is we need to pay attention to people. Ask them how they are. They could be on the edge of something truly devastating and we don't even know it. It's not important what you say after that. People don't need you to fix them. They need you to be there. To know someone sees the pain their are in.

This week when I go to the grocery store I am going to tell W that last week he looked a little sad. I'm going to ask him if he's all right. Show him he's not alone.

Has this happened to you? Have you stepped in? It may seem like a little thing, to ask someone how they are, but it could save their life.


Suburban Princess said...

You are so could save a life. I wish more people would do this...just reach out. I could go weeks without a single person contacting me from my real life, they are all too busy. But I always make a point of reaching out and even sending cards to people who might not get one otherwise.

Even Oprah has said all we want is to be seen. We are all asking 'do you see me?'

The 5 Bickies said... have given me something really good to think about.

I love that you know the people at your grocery so well. I don't feel like I ever see the same people working or shop at the same store with any regularity.

I hope W's alright...

CashmereLibrarian said...

Such a great reminder. Thank you!

Muffy said...

I always notice when those around are not quite-- up to par. It's true-- most people pay no attention to details. Many times I've helped someone who really just needed to talk to someone for a few momemts. Kudos to you for taking that first step!

PS: I tagged you! Check it out on my blog. Xx.

BroncoMom said...

One time when I was experiencing a rough time some ANGEL asked me if I was ok. Low and behold, I too fell apart. The tears just flowed. At first I thought I had my sadness under control but realized that it wasn't until someone asked me if I was ok to realize that I wasn't. This kind gesture has be on my minds for years. I do not hesitate to ask anymore if I sense someone needs a kind smile.
Congratulations on addressing this issue! 2 thumbs up Mom!!

eas said...

This was a great post. Thanks for the reminder! P.S. I found your blog a while back and love it.

Preppy 101 said...

Such a good post Mrs. Fabulous. This is so true. Thank you. xoxo

Always Organizing said...

I think this is a wondeful post. If we all practiced a little more kindness like this, the world would be a better place.

Jen said...

Great thoughts....I'll be keeping this in mind.

bevy said...

Thanks for sharing... I do tend to ask people if they are alright - if I feel like I am close enough to them. I shouldn't let that stand in the way of possible making a difference.

Brie said...

So sweet and so true! You can be caring without being nosey or intrusive. I love Ferdinand - he's my fave ;)

melissa said...

So, so true .. I recently heard a sermon on the same topic. Really hit home with me!!
What a blessing you were to your friend :)