However....
You know how it goes. Having husbands take over the household does not go as well as we'd like it to. I'll say off the bat this is our fault ladies. Oh yeah. I'm talking to you and ME!
I will practically kill myself to get everything done around here. My schedule goes like this:
5am wake up start working
Throw in a load of laundry
Unload the dishwasher
Keep working
write a thank you note
pay a few bills
keep working
get the kids up and dressed
make Landon's lunch
move laundry to dryer and start another load
email a few people back
shower/ dress
get kids showered and dressed
Should I go on?
Husband however....
Wakes up
makes coffee
checks blackberry
drinks coffee
makes breakfast
helps with kids
showers
gets dressed
See something going on here? We mothers are multi tasking maniacs. We are damn proud of that but we are exhausted. I sometimes see the Mr. listening to a song, or checking out a car he likes on line. What? I don't even have a minute to do that. My day is packed beginning to end. I barely have time to shave my legs.
Is this my fault? Our fault? If I don't do the laundry there's no underwear. If I leave things a mess, it will have to be cleaned sometime. I am going to give the Mr. some things I want him to do around the house, but unfortunately, there's no one better to run the house than me.
Okay wives, mothers, friends and good time gals. What do you think. Do I need to get over it? Expect more from The Mr? Or do I another wife?
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13 comments:
I sat hubby down and had the 'you are a great husband, amazing father, sucky roommate' conversation. I say leave a list of what you want him to do and tell him when you will be back and that you expect it done by then.
I always tease my Husband that we need a "sister wife". I've come to realize that my Husband isn't very good at multi-tasking he gets stuff done but he can't do a few things at once. Also I know part of my frustration is actually me I want to own many of things around the house. Since getting pregnant I've learned to hand off a few things but it's tough. Hang in the Mama!
I love that I have to ask to go take a shower or run to the store ( or toilet). Hubby just leaves, bye ( and somehow "forgets" to bring his phone?) Ouch...He really is a good man:)
Ah....I ask myself (and Husband) that same question nearly everyday. Last night for example, I'm putting away groceries, making Lallie's dinner, emptying dishwasher, throwing laundry into dryer, making friendship bread, baking cookies with Lallie (for after dinner if she eats her dinner). I did this all in oh...about 30 minutes and the entire time, Husband is on the ipad at the kitchen bar and wondered why I huffed and puffed a little. When you find the answer, please let me know!! xoxo Jennifer
We have been having this debate all weekend at my house. I work 8a-5p and my husband works 3p-11p and for the life of me I cannot figure out what keeps him too busy to do a little housework. I go full speed ahead from the minute I wake up until I can fall into bed...it just isn't fair! I feel like I am fighting a battle I will never win.
Make a little of both.... get over some of it and ask Mr for a little more help than he's giving. BUT, be prepared for him to do it his own way. It might not be exactly like you would do it. Still gets done what you ask but in his own way. That's one thing I've had to come to terms with..... my husband will do most anything I ask of him. And yes, I have to ask. It's just not always MY way. Takes some getting use to but it's better than running myself ragged!
You should read Shaunti Feldhahn's books: "The SEcret Lives of Men-What Every Woman should KNow" and "The Secret Lives of Women- What vEvery Man Should know". We really are made differently. Men's minds are made to focus on one thing at the time while women's minds are like a computer with 10 different windows open at the same time) (one reading blogs, 1 ordering something from Amazon, an instant message or 2, etc). Men are not wired that way. The good news is that when you do have their attention, you have ALL of it. IT's something I need to do a lot more of with our family!
If only there was a quick resolution to this issue...my bff and I always discuss this same problem. then we joke about how efficient it would be for us to live together with our kids during the week and visit our husbands on the weekends! We're kidding.... kind of.
I'm not sure what the answer is because HE has the best wife in the world, YOU!!!
List perhaps???
TOTALLY - I honestly think working a full time job would sometimes be easier but I'm guessing this to do list would still be waiting when we got home!
It can (if you work on it) get better once the kiddos are older. I promise!
Not only do they think differently from us, they also see their surroundings differently. I am certain he thinks everything looks fine. I remember saying to Mr. Preppy 101 - you're gonna have to help me around the house. In the midst of a disaster, he'd say - I don't see anything that needs to be done. haha I gave up. :-) Xoxo
WOW, do I know how you feel! Some things around here go completely under the hubs radar, like the kids needs for lunches ;-) When I travel I have had to learn that he has his way, I have mine. Although I will never understand how he can tollerate a dirty kitchen sink...I have issues ;-) I have learned over the last 11 years with children that my kids eating Sonic at crazy hours and getting filthy working with him is not the end of the world. In fact, it may be good for them. If we were both neurotic multi taskers this house would not be fun. Just leave him a list of the things you would like him to get done. If it isn't all done to your specifications, don't get angry, be appreciative of what he has done and you will see him working hard to do more. I have to remind myself of this quite often since he is the free spirit around here and I am the type A doer. God bless you! Being a working mom is a blessing but isn't for the faint of heart.
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