Coco's Not Getting A Car Until She's Eighteen

Listen, anyone who flies with children is taking their lives in their hands. The only way I can survive is Jet Blue. On Jet Blue, people are usually too busy watching TV to hear my children scream. Not that I don't entertain them. I bring a four hundred pound carry on bag full of toys, snacks and tricks. I am on my game. I am One Fabulous Mom!

Landon has become a pretty good traveler thanks to the portable DVD player. Just watches his movie and smiles at us. When the battery runs out he does get squirmy, but he is nothing compared to the power and insanity of one Miss Coco.

Have you ever flown with a 16 month old? They are known as a "lap child", but the only way Coco would stay on my lap is if she were laminated to me. She throws fits trying to get out of the seat, and we try to hold her offering bottle, movie, cheerios, and cold hard cash.

This flight back from CT was no exception. She slept for an hour or so but people this is a 5 1/2 hour flight. That's right. 5 and 1/2 hours of trapped Coco. Coco wakes up from her little nap and is sweet and docile for about a half hour. Then we start entertaining and bribing her. During the last hour of the flight, after The Mr. and I have both sworn never to fly with these people again, she starts to really scream. Thinking it may be teeth, I get out the Motrin. She won't take it so I shove it in her face.

Here's where the story gets interesting. Coco, so mad that I have done this, starts coughing and choking. Then she does the one thing that trumps any parents control of the situation. She throws up. EVERYWHERE.

That's right. All of over me, The Mr, the seat the floor...yes. Needless to say we were pissed. Coco was fine and smiling after that. The Mr. and I have agreed she is not getting a car on her sixteenth birthday no matter how much she begs us. This will be forever known as the "Jet Blue Incident" filed into the "things we don't speak of but never forget" category. Isn't parenting fabulous?







18 comments:

Nicole said...

oooh nooo pooor Mrs. and Mr.!!

Having JUST flown with my own two little ones under 2 last week I feel your pain. From the time we exited security to the time we boarded the plane, Baby Duex was on his third outfit! but I will say our 2 1/2 hour flight was clearly much easier than yalls. My sympathy!

I giggled at your "toy bag carry on" I use a HUGE canvas tote for ours and things are always spilling out.

Glad yall are safely home & clean!

xoxo,
OuiserB

Pinot after Playdates said...

oh no! I've never flown more than 3 hours with our little one, and this doesn't make me want to any time soon! sorry for the rough trip home, is it a funny story yet?

Southern Living: Preppy Style said...

Oh no! Been there and done that. We fly no less than 8 times a year and we have a now three year old. When Lallie was that age, we just bought the stinking seat and pasted her into the car seat. She'd scream and cry for a while and then give up and be happy and cute the rest of the time. I know how you feel!!!

Sherrie said...

Oh you poor thing! We had flown to FL when each of the boys was about that age and Greg and I felt like we were putting on a dog and pony show to keep them occupied. Glad you are all home safe and sound!

suburban prep said...

Oh you poor thing.
Sorry that travel is not easy.
I remember trips growing up with the 7 of us and my parents, I do not know how they are still sane.

AMY said...

Oh how fun! I haven't flown anywhere since my youngest was her age...I think it may be for similar reasons. In a few weeks I am flying with both of my boys WITHOUT THE HUBS to see my sis. They are 6 and 10 now. I'm hoping it won't be what I remember but parenthood has taught me to not count on things going smoothly! I hope Coco redeems herself and can get that car at 16 ;-)

Mrs. R said...

Oh my Miss Coco!! I think you have a future actress on your hands! LOL! I know you are glad to be back home and off of that plane.

PaperCourt said...

I remember those horrible days. Once I flew alone, Seattle to Orlando, with a 3 yo and 18 month old. I always bought them seats so that made it a little better b/c I could trap them in the car seat.

It does get better. I haven't brought a DVD player in years!

LPC said...

But it makes such a good story.

Andie said...

Oh you poor thing. Boo threw up every time we landed until she was 3 1/2. We learned to be prepared for it. I think this is the worst age to fly with until about 2 1/2 when it gets better. I thought I was a flying champ. I have done it alone a TON. I thought I could do ANYTHING. And with grace! And then I took both mine ALONE a month ago on the 6 hour flight from Boston to SLC. And back. It was the "and back" that killed me, as there was no extra seat. I wanted to kill myself when we finally landed. I swore I'd never do it again until she can sit in her own seat! This shall pass. This is what I have to tell myself. You made it!

nanny said...

Oh how awful....what a long flight/ha

I watched Shirley Valentine yesterday and loved, loved it!
Lace isn't available on netflix...I've seen the others on your list but think I'll watch them again....thanks for the recommendations!!

Claire said...

Your story gave me a bad case of "the flashback" - many times over!!! Glad you survived and it does get better.

Aimee said...

Okay, this is how I can tell you have not one Southern bone in your gorgeous body, OFM ... "This will be forever known as the "Jet Blue Incident" filed into the "things we don't speak of but never forget" category."

Sweetheart, that right there is GUILT GOLD. You hold onto that story until she's about 8 or 9 year's old (true good guilt never works before that) and then you let her have it right between her precious eyes when she gets obnoxious about something. And she will get obnoxious, they all do, no matter how wonderful they are generally.

Don't worry about using it up. That is a story you can use most of her life for the mid-level whines. If you have a mild L&D story combine them for the big stuff.

Candy said...

Uh oh... sorry to hear about that! But every parent has their stories I'm sure, and there's probably a lot worse out there!

Kate said...

Oh no! That is awful! I used to babysit for a toddler that frequently threw up when she was upset. I hope Coco doesn't continue this behavior!

EntertainingMom said...

oh man... the good news is that they do grow up... how old do they have to be to fly across the country by themselves? ;)

debra said...

Oh my! We only had to deal with one and she's a fairly good traveler (sorry) but we have had some trying moments. It will get better - promise!

Solar Powered said...

Haaaaaaa. Coco, I can't believe you kissed your sweet sixteen present goodbye.