Yes, we went to Pixieland but before that we went to a family wedding. We drove five hours in a car with an almost three year old and a 10 week old (hold your applause until the end please...)

A five hour drive with a two year old is like driving a car that's out of alignment. You are constantly managing and redirecting. Handing them toys (to shut them up), playing music for them (the same song 447 times), and praying they take a nap. Landon did pretty well on the way out there. Coco did pretty well too, we stopped every three hours so I could feed her, I felt like I had planned everything well. We were on track, arrived early at our hotel, our room was perfect...everything was coming up roses. Roses I tell ya!
I almost said it.
I almost said out loud how perfect everything was going. Better not say that out loud to hubby because it will all go up in smoke! (insert I told you so)

We headed to the wedding dressed and pressed.

This was an outdoor ceremony at a vineyard. We picked a seat in the back row, near the door to the indoor reception area (experienced Mother here people. I know how to make a quick getaway!)

The ceremony began. And so did SCREAMFEST 2009.

Maybe you think I'm exaggerating. Think again. She screamed so loud they could hear her from where I was hovering in the back of the reception hall. I tried to calm her, feed her, kill her (just kidding), but she kept screaming. After I fed her I handed her over to hubby and went to drink a bottle, I mean glass of wine. She screamed the rest of the night. We stuck her in the corner of the room and hit the dance floor while the grandmas took turns rocking the stroller. It was ugly. UGLY. She finally passed out hours later. She even slept through the night (smart move lady).
Next five hour drive I am letting Coco drive in her own car. Or Landon will drive and she can work the tunes.
The Mrs.


Courtney said...

Oh my! Kids pick the best time to start screaming. Love how you told the story, I was laughing but feeling your pain!

Jessi said...

Oh no....

Love the new header pic...Coco is adorable.

Mom x 2 said...

I'm sure it was hard on you, but the way you write your posts always leaves me laughing. Great one!

Bama Girl in AZ said...

Wow, that sounds horrible! Better luck next time!

CashmereLibrarian said...

Ahh. My son did the same thing at my niece's outdoor wedding (I was Matron of Honor; he wanted to be with Mommy). Now when my niece and her husband watch the video, they have the added benefit of Max's wails during the ceremony.
Glad you survived!

Jillian, Inc said...

God bless you ALL! As I was reading I was thinking, "At least I'll bet she slept good after she stopped screaming!"

PaperCourt said...

Painful! I hope she stops screaming when she hits the 3 month're almost there.

Chaz is still screaming and he's 3 :-) His persistence will pay off one day (or at least that's what I tell myself).

bb4mich said...

You are a WAYYYYYYY better mom than me- I would have left BOTH of them at home!!!!! Your blog cracks me up every day!!! Keep the good times comin'!

Preppy 101 said...

OH my gosh! Bless your hearts - all of you. Guess Coco just isn't into the wedding scene - haha. Thank goodness for grandma's! xoxo

Domestic Diva said...

Bless your heart! Thank God for wine. I was trying to only do the wine on the weekend for the waistline. I had such a day that I am having a key lime martini.
Being a fabulous Mom is not for the faint at heart!
xxxx me

Claire said...

Not sure if I shared this with you but your story reminded me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Having a baby is like suddenly getting the world's worst roommate, like having Janis Joplin with a bad hangover and PMS come to stay with you."
Anne Lamott, "Bird By Bird"

cancersucks said...

Was Gene Simmons your driver to the wedding? Just kidding! My middle guy cried in the car for the 1st year of his life. Once on a trip home from my family (about an hour away) he cried the whole way, then my daughter cried, I cried. I stopped at a Ruby Tuesday parking lot 15 minutes from my house and made hubby come and get them. I just couldn't take it another second. Coco needs to a class in finger sucking or lovin' the binky 101. Lucky thing she is so darn cute.

Angry Julie Monday said...

Oh nooooooo!!!

I'm sorry! Big hugs! Glad that wine was there to soothe you.

Surf Girl said...

Oh, I know that feeling of wanting to crawl in a hole too well. I would have given you a big hug (and a bigger glass of wine) if I'd been there!!
Boogie Boy hated riding in the car and would scream until he would wear himself out. I used to feel so helpless.
I hope your next trip goes better!!