It Didn't Turn Out Like She Wanted

My Grandmother passed away a few weeks ago. Although she lived a long life, it still hit me hard. She was my last living grandparent, the end of an era for me. I was so thankful she had spent time with my kids, but selfishly, I felt old. I was no longer was somebody's grandbaby.

The funeral, in my gorgeous hometown of Raleigh, North Carolina, was a nice tribute to her. She was a war bride, had many friends and was a devout christian. I was barely able to stop crying. I was just so SAD she was gone.

Then my Father said something that, at the time, made it even worse.

 "Well, it didn't turn out like she wanted." 

I was FLOORED. It was devastating to me. She had spent her life as a devoted friend, wife, mom and christian and still....I wasn't even sure what my Father meant by it. I didn't ask. It just struck me. What were her dreams? Goals? What had she hoped for?

When I die would people say the same about me?

Part of "Losing My Fabulous" was this feeling of being LOST. Not knowing what direction to go in next. Feeling stuck. Feeling unsatisfied. Feeling unmotivated and depressed. Nothing seemed to be working. Was this my destiny?

On my way home to LA I became MORE sad, until two women magically came into my life on my travels home.

One gave me a great idea.  She took something I had been thinking about and made me think of it in a BIGGER WAY.

And the other, made me feel loved enough to follow through with it. She let me know that the universe was on my side.

These divine encounters, and a meeting with some of my key board members has lead me to launch: WARRIOR MOM.

It encompasses the way I have been feeling, things I have written about and all my passions. I hope you'll follow along and see where this takes me. Where it takes US!
Thank you for always supporting me and encouraging me and sharing your stories! I hope I am inspiring you, making you think, and prompting you to action.

Stay tuned for more on THE WARRIOR MOMS by following on Instagram and Twitter. This is going to be BIG.


Suburban prep said...

So sorry for your loss.
My grandmother on my father's side (for me the last of my grandparents) passed just 4 months almost to the day before I got married. I had always wanted her at my wedding to dance the Irish jig like she had as cousins and two of my siblings wedding.
I have her in my heart and we had a tribute to her and to my husband's grandfather who passed a few days before my grandmother. I actually wore as my something blue a sapphire necklace that she had been given by my parents as they got engaged. It also helped that my birth stone is sapphire--September.
You will have your grandmother in your heart and how your live your life with your family. She is part of you.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry about your Grandmother....I know she will be watching and cheering you on with your next project.
-Linda, NY