Leaving Perfection Behind and Embracing Your Broken-ness

I used to covet perfection. The perfect outfit, party, relationship all the surface things. It wasn't that I didn't have depth, it was just that I liked things to be just...PERFECT.

As I got older I started realizing this was getting tougher and tougher to accomplish. After a perfect wedding to a perfect husband I went through some very imperfect infertility. It made me question everything in my life. I thought getting pregnant would be a snap. Not so much.

After in vitro and finally getting pregnant I got back to my usually perfect ways with the perfect baby shower. Little did I know what was around the corner. My perfectionism was about to get it's REAL rude awakening. I thought I had it all back together but....

Having Landon changed all of that. When you have a child who is born with an issue of any sort, especially an ongoing one, or one that is life changing, it takes the perfectionism you're suffering from and just throws it up against the wall and smashes it.

Even when Landon came home with a less than perfect right arm I still longed for perfection. I tried to get back on the perfection horse. It was no use.

Over the last few really tough years in finances, marriage, kids and life....I have come to appreciate: BROKEN-NESS.

In people, animals, things...all of it.

There was a Lilly Pulitzer store going out of business, the woman was so upset, beautiful store and she couldn't keep it going...she was selling EVERYTHING. She was humiliated but called me to come in and buy. I looked at a fog necklace and she said oh you don't want that, it only has one foot. It's broken.

Guess what:

I bought it.

Turns out the broken-ness is the good stuff.

Some of my best friends have been broken in many ways, and still are, and it's what makes me LOVE them, relate to them and able to have the best conversations. They don't wear their broken-ness like victims, they choose to share it when they feel it's important. Life is not our perfect Facebook posts, and instagram pictures. Life is really TOUGH. It breaks us. That broken-ness pulls us together and let's us connect. Don't hide that broken-ness. That is what makes you who you are.

Embracing my broken-ness is not easy. It's hard to admit when things are going BAD. GETTING WORSE and seem UNFIXABLE. But if that's where you are. That's where YOU ARE. It's not forever. It will change and evolve. 

Looking down at my frog necklace reminds me were all BROKEN in one way or another. Does this mean I'm going to stop monogramming things? Dressing up? Setting a pretty table? HELL NO. It means that when someone admits their BROKEN-NESS to me I will share my own. And when I feel broken and scared I will share this with my closest friends and get comfort.


Now THAT'S what makes a WARRIOR WOMAN!


Anonymous said...

This is such a relatvent topic in America today.
- Linda, ny

Myriam Knepper said...

You are amazing dear Liz... And Landon is your little warrior...You are a true inspiration...So blessed to have you as my friend and know your beautiful family.
Xoxo my dear friend.

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Anonymous said...

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward many are strong in the broken places." - A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway

Suburban prep said...

I think that you have a wonderful outlook on life.
I had to accept broken when less than a year after marrying (quite some time ago) I developed a rather large DVT. I was told I wouldn't walk and if I did it would be with a noticeable limp. I walk and you really can not tell. I am alive. OK I do not run--but to tell you the truth didn't really run before hand either. I wasn't able to return to work at the company I had been with (at that point for a few years). But I wanted my life back. I have a new normal now. I am able to help older parents and now a brother who has had health issues too. I am able to help other members of the family and friends when I can. Broken is OK. I found out that perfection is over rated and the new normal is what you make of it.